I'm 17 and my mom is trying to make me be a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding but I don't want to. I mean I don't like the woman he's marrying and I know the feeling is mutual. The only reason I'm being asked to be a bridesmaid is because she doesn't have that many friends. THere is only going to be 3 and only one of those women are her friend. the other one is her cousin. I don't even want to go to the wedding much less be in it. I was thinking of telling my mom that I had other plans that day and couldn't do it. Is that a good idea or should I think of something else? One of my friends say I should do it then make a scene in the middle of the ceremony. I thought that would be funny.
2007-12-30 04:59:50 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi Amber:
Well, I can tell from your post that you are 17. First of all....you don't say if you are close or not to your brother....never mind the soon to be "wife."
Please do it for your brother. Do not create a scene at the wedding. She WILL be your sister-in-law no matter if you like her or not...so you better get used to it now.
You can't "have other plans" for the day your brother gets married. That would be rude and will put more of a wedge in your relationship with your brother and his fiance.
Think of your brother's feelings...not yours.
2007-12-30 06:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could make a scene but really you should do it for your brother and support him. If you make a scene your brother wouldnt like it and youd ruin his special day. If you be a bridesmaid youll show you're more mature than that and so youll be able to annoy the bride anyway cuz she wont want you as a bridesmaid. Just get through the day and then itll all be over. It's your decision but it will be your brother's speica; day. Good luck
2007-12-30 13:06:10 · answer #2 · answered by no1muppet 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only way to avoid being there is by upsetting your brother and your mother.
If she doesn't like you it won't really affect her anyway... the only people you would be hurting are your family members... I'm assuming you care about them.
It would not be funny to make a scene... it would just be hurtful and make you look like an immature, spoiled child. I wouldn't do it
I would say just be a bridesmaid. It isn't going to hurt you and would mean something to your brother. I would imagine he wanted his fiance to ask you to be a bridesmaid.
It's his day so do it for him.... you won't be able to stop the wedding and by not being there it won't change anything except perhaps damage your relationships with family.
2007-12-30 14:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by etainbutterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, it might be a funny idea, but it would be VERY disrespectful to actually do that.
it is an honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid, even if it's only because she doesn't have a lot of friends.
their wedding day is the best day of her life- the one she's been dreaming of since she was a little girl. it be be very insulting to her and your brother to turn the title down.
i think you should just suck it up and do it. wedding ceremonies usually last about 20 minutes tops anyway. it's not like it's a big deal.
just think of it this way- how would you feel if you asked her a big favor, and she completely blew you off? if you don't do it for her, atleast do it for your brother. planning a wedding is very stressful, don't add to the stress by starting family drama.
2007-12-30 13:07:14 · answer #4 · answered by Hil Rizzle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain to your mother that you do not like the girl and she doesn't like you. And that bridesmaids are to be the ones that are closest to the bride and groom and you do not feel close to her. and you do not support the marriage. And because you have negative feelings it isn't fair to either party.
Just tell you are not going to do it.
don't back out of the wedding ( you are really going to catch hell ) but ask if you can take another role in the wedding such as guest book attendant. or hand out programs Because you feel it would be more suitable becuase you do not feel close to the bride .... and you want to be the bigger person and you feel she should really have the people who are close to her not someone( you ) because of obligations.
you should be able to walk away from the if you particapate in another way... but you have to go to yoru brothers wedding sorry kid-o
2007-12-30 13:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by la de da 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it you are suppose to be close to the bride to be a bridesmaid. I would however go to the wedding out of respect for your brother. Just tell your mom you are not ready to be a bridesmaid.
2007-12-30 13:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by ஐ♥Vanessa♥ஐ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a daft prat of a friend you have suggesting you spoil your Brothers wedding by making a scene!!!! How darn childish!!!
If you really do not want to be Bridesmaid then just be honest and tell them. I would try and attend the wedding as he is your brother at end of day.
2007-12-30 13:07:44 · answer #7 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Its your brother's day. Don't focus on his future wife and your feelings toward her. Focus on your brother's feelings. It is his day and I am assuming you love him and care about him. Be there for him. Don't take your friends advice and cause a scene. That would ruin your brother's day and possibly cause future problems among your entire family. Its best to just act like an adult and go with the flow. Try to have a good time.
2007-12-30 13:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend's idea, and you thinking it funny, shows a decided lack of maturity.
Even if you don't like your future sister-in-law, your brother does. It would be appropriate to demonstrate your love for your brother, and your respect for him being able to make his own decisions, by being a bridesmaid.
2007-12-30 13:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to your mother. Also talk to your brother. Why, he doesn't know that the two of you don't get along? Your mom isn't the one to tell whos in whos wedding anyway.
2007-12-30 13:13:53 · answer #10 · answered by rstylist26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋