I don't understand myself...?

Question

I am male, college student, 19 year old virgin.

Before dating my ex, I was a shy kid around girls. I didn't understand them, but I always respected them. Girls were a luxury to me, and I promised myself if I ever had the chance to date a girl, I'd treat her well, give my virginity to her, and marry her.
However, my perspective on relationships drastically changed as I experienced the complications involved in a relationship. Dating this girl inevitably led to the destruction of my confidence and it's an experience I would like to stay away from for a long time.
I don't want a relationship anymore, but my raging hormones prevent me from leaving females alone. I'm not the type to pursue women for sexual play, but it's a lifestyle I would like to get into. However, I'm one of those guys with emotions and sensitivity; the type of guy who women usually see as "friends". I've made up my mind, I want to be the guy who rakes in all the sexual glory with strangers... but how?

Answer 1

First, you'll need to do a little work on your lifestyle if you havn't already. If your not getting out of the house you'll need to pursue this new way of thinking.

Clubs and bars may not be your scene, but their a rich environment for interacting with females.

Second off, don't let rejection cut you down. Think of casual dating as a video game. You'll lose alot more than winning... however you only need to win once. In a video game, losing the game means nothing more other than that you'll have to start over again. So keep at it.

Third, your going to have to work on interacting with females who you've never met before. Don't use the whole "excuse me can we talk" bit as that's allowing them the option. Go in there and start up a conversation... my suggestion is not to be using the "wow your cute" as an opener as it puts her on the defensive. Rather, go in and start up a conversation about anything else other than your true goal.

She may think it's cheesy, she may laugh at you, but the fact of the matter is... you got your foot in the door with a conversation.

Other than that, there is really not much more different then starting a relationship versus casual dating. You just have to realize some girls get attached, just as some of us guys do. Chances are, you could be one of the guys who wants more than just one-night stands.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Don't let your raging hormones describe you as a person. Be true to yourself and the guys who just want sexual conquests are the ones that a good woman will stay away from. You may want to also think about the problems that may come with those sexual conquests, like a child or an STD. No matter what you age or gender, we all have sexual urges. It's only natural and you can take that in hand (so to speak). Women should be an asset ,but an equal to you and be cherished. You should respect each other. Will you respect or fall in love with the women you are wanting to have just sex with? I doubt it and then there is the danger of thinking you are in love, but it's just lust . I am sorry you met the wrong girl for the first time but you CAN get over that by never seeking the same type out again. We have all been hurt in relationships. It is how we grow and come to learn what we really want in a mate, that make even bad experiences turn into good ones. Do NOT let one bad relationship destroy who you are. You will be using women then and they will never mean to you what they once meant. Give yourself time to get over the relationship and don't do anything drastic or think that all of them are going to be like that. That's not healthy thinking and you are degrading yourself. Do you want women who have slept around alot? Will that have any meaning? If you don't want an "easy" girl..............then don't be easy yourself. I could tell you how........but I won't. I don't think you deserve that. I think that you are just hurting from one relationship gone bad. You said iit yourself that you are not the type to pursue women for sexual play......so don't. It slays me that women who are easy are called names and yet guys get a "thatta boy" pat on the shoulder for conquests. Both are wrong and you will get a reputation as a lady's man and that can't be good for the long term. Chalk a bad relationship up to one that wasn't meant to be, get on with dating and life. The right one will come along when you least expect it. Happy New Year!
P.S. Work on getting your self esteem and digntiy back too.

Answer 3

LOL!!! Man your good. It doesn't matter what you think right now. Your mind and body are still changing. Think of the animal kingdom. Your the lion. You smell the girl you go out there and compete with the other male lions. You win; you get the girl, you lose;you leave crying.

My advice: You got to be the alpha male in this. Be acertive and calm. You'll get all the girls you like. Overcome your fear.

Answer 4

where do you go to school?
it's 2007-2008 here - loosen up and date a little. you don't want to get stuck on one girl because you didn't do your homework so to say. try a dating site for singles, one that offers mature content; you will find what your looking for there if you use some patience.
if you dont play the field you'll end up disappointed and p***y-whipped

Answer 5

ok..well.. you asked how? college studeant? your parents are believing you like mountain and hope that you will lead the family. what is the urgent about the gils. you say you are shy..be a shy..no problem. conceentrate studies and your future..the time wil come , a gil wil come. until such time lock the emotions and sensitivity. one thing you are right of saying luxury and how about your family and are you ready to bear expenses.? Think and do.

Answer 6

you seem like a nice guy dont give up on relationships if uve only had one... have fun with girl but if u meet someone u think might be special or more give it a try

Answer 7

That's all fine and dandy till you meet the lioness who stalks her prey .... No one told you about that kind did they ? Be careful you don't end up with a "MISS LOOSE " disease ... ha ha !!! Then she eats you !!! She'll start wth your heart!!

Answer 8

develope some self confidence and then go for it.

Answer 9

just do it....