Adults living at home with their parents. What's wrong with it?

Question

I am a single, straight, 28 year old male that lives at home with his parents and other adult siblings. I am very successful in my career and I am highly educated as well, so it's not like I am a lazy person as some may want to believe when they hear I choose to live at home. My parents actively encourage their kids to live at home as long as they would like and rent free of course. What I don't understand is the jealousy people have of my living arrangements. If they are so jealous, most of them, I am sure, could make arrangments to move back home. I am the brunt of many nasty comments/jokes like this due to many forms of jealousy. It is worth noting that these arrangements did not come easy. I had to cultivate this great relationship with my family over a number of years. So it's not like anything was doled out to me. Plus, this is the least our parents can do considering all the years of joy we have given them in the past. They get a kick out of that when I tell them that.

But I digress. Another thing I don't understand is why girls my age claim that this is such a turn off. Why can't a relationship flourish if I live at home? Oh, I get it, they want to have premarital sex etc. Forget it, I don't believe in that at all. But that doesn't mean that they can't come over or that we can't go out. People are really silly when you think about it. And it's not like I am a "mama's boy" either. I simply respect the other people that I live with. I try not to be home too late and when I am I call etc. One more thing that I get abused over is the fact that I have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss. I have been so busy with school and work that this simply was not a possibility. When I am done with my masters next year, I will give it a shot again. I have only gone on 2 dates in my entire life and that was when I was 23. I think most people from my type of background as mentioned above have little to no experience with relationships either.

And seriously, who doesn't want home cooked meals and their laundry done for them? It's just as good as getting married, and you don't have to put up with a wife! LOL!!!!!!!!!! You even get these "experts" on tv, you know the pop psychologists saying living arrangements like mine are unhealthy. But they are usually talking about the kids that never completed college and/or do not have a job. Even these psychologists seem jealous of people with great home lives; maybe they need therapy too! LOL!

Answer 1

If you are ok with it, why post a novel saying that you are ok with it?

Answer 2

Hey Matt

Don't sweat the threats, and the girls that give you sh*t about it don't realize it but they just might end up back at home with their kids and their loser husbands. Even if they don't get in the front door they will still be there asking dad for money for the baby sitter. Where I live the cost of living is so high that people here actually increase the sizes of their homes so that their kids can move home and every one saves money from it. Here is how much a gal of milk cost here $7.00, bread is $4.00 and so on, so don't give living with your pops a second thought. People do it for a number of reasons and the most important one is the cost of renting or buying a house or apartment is fricken unreal and they just can't afford it by them selves, girls just want some one to foot the bill, but when they are asked to help they get all freaky and then they start arguing about money, not every one can be a doctor or attorney or rap star/drug dealing gangsters. The good dirls wont care where you live just the wacked ones will, and if your friends are teasing you about it just tell them that you will never have regrets when your parents pass because you will have spent as much time with them as possible, besides you have more money to spend on them in sted of scrounging off of them. So don't sweat the small stuff there are more important things out there to worry about.
Take care and good luck, have a happy new year.
....cya....Keep The Faith....

Answer 3

I think u r right. there is nothing wrong with u living with ur parents as long as u have a job and ur not just another burden on them.
and i think, as a girl, that its not a "turn-off" that u live with ur parents, on the contrary u r successful.
i think the whole idea came from as u said that the general thing is that lazy and dependent people tend to stay with their parents. but in ur case its not. u just adjusted with this kind of living and based on what u said, u have a job that is successful and u can simply choose to move out and have a place of ur own and pay rent.
i belive u shouldnt worry aout people's comments as long as ur happy with what u chose.
if u lived ur life trying to satisfy people ull lose urs and this cant be replaced. u only live once so make it for ur own satisfaction and not for others. some sick people just find pleasure in embarrassing or annoying others and reach ultimate pleasure if u changed what u believe to satisfy them.
u should even ask this question because what u do is absolutely normal and like u said its very beatiful.
as a girl, i think ur a successful man and ull meet someone who really appreciates u and she will be lucky to have u because men tend to be more faithful and loving - without losing their toughness and manlyhood lol- to the other sex.
i live on my own and i never had sex but i dated 2 men and people think of me as so cool and popular so i think ur self confidence that needs to be boosted and u dont have to change anything about ur life.
so if u showed more self confidence and didnt let that affect ur social life and not care for people's comments it would get better

Answer 4

I think you have a pretty hot setup right now but I recently moved out of my parents house and began my career and have discovered that I have a new view of the world. I don't think you truely become yourself until you move out and build your own lifestyle. Things change dramatically. From a dating perspective, I appreciate a man who lives on his own because he appreciates and respects the hard work that goes along with living on their own. It's nice to date a guy that can cook, clean, and do his own laundry confidently. :-) But finish school first, it'll remove some of the stress and good luck on your masters.

Answer 5

I'm confused, and I'm not sure you're for real. Do you really want to know why other people frown on situations like yours, or do you just want to vent about it? And if you are totally happy like you claim you are, why is there a need for you to vent about it?

As far as the actual topic, here is why I think that at some point there is something wrong with it. And I will also explain why it is such a turnoff for girls. And no, as handsome as you might be, it is not because they want to have premarital sex with you. Trust me.

When someone who is an adult chooses to live with their parents long-term, it shows a fear of getting out on their own. You'd rather live in a cocoon than go through the hardships and joys of being on your own. It's like going swimming for the first time. If you never get in the water, true, you might never drown, but at the same time, you will never experience the joys, freedom, and independence of swimming.

I think the fact that you don't cook your own food and you don't do your own laundry makes you seem infantile, I don't care how many degrees you have. To most of us, the goal in life is to be independent. When a woman comes across a man who has no desire to be independent or standing on his own two feet, it is a HUGE turnoff, and it makes the man seem weak and unable to cut the umbilical cord. It makes the man seem like he has no interest in being an adult. That is a big turnoff for most girls who are looking for that strong man to help them start and raise a family with. If you are truly proud of the way you are living, then why are you here defending yourself?

Look at nature. Birds who have babies eventually, literally, and physically push their babies out of the nest. Why? Because they realize that it is the only way that their babies will be forced to learn to fly on their own.

You say you are not a lazy person. Then why don't you do your own laundry and cook and clean up after yourself? Aren't your parents getting older, and couldn't your mom use the help?

Also, you obviously have some serious issues with what a wife really is. She is not a maid or personal assistant. She is your confidant, your best friend, your precious blessing, your shelter. Your adult counterpart. Your sexual experience. And, you are not even considering the joy you might actually get from being HER best friend, her shelter, her support. And by choosing not to even step your toe into the water, you will never know what swimming is like.

Answer 6

As long as you have money ready for a house you can buy yourself anytime, I see no problem with that. Especially because you've already had a good education and are working.

I suppose that it's also a plus, seeing as how you can save a heck of a lot of money.

Answer 7

Well most Indians live together with their family. Infact, they think its wrong to live out for selfish reasons! It depends what society you live in. In USA, kids dont live with their parents, so it must be difficult there.

Also about dating a girl....buddy...if you happy staying like that, then dont be bothered what other think. If it does bother you then do something about it.

Answer 8

Wow such a nice guy, where do you live,?

Answer 9

Nothing is wrong with that....some people are just mad...blaa....and because of what you believe in I respect you alot...:)

Answer 10

Its definitely weird....But what can you do....You take what you are dealt