Spank or timeout?

Question

which worked better for you?

Answer 1

both...consider discipline like a golf bag...you need different clubs for different shots...so depending on the severity of the behavior, you can either do time-out or spank.

Answer 2

Timeout in our home is standing in the corner facing the wall. The normal time is two minutes per age of the child, but they may get a little longer. Spanking is used for the more serious stuff or if they refused to go in the corner. They both work the same, but spanking is still the ultimate punishment to them.

Answer 3

I'm in my 50s and I still remember the couple of times I was spanked by my dad. It taught me not to mess with him, because I respected him and was sad I had disappointed him. He didn't misuse spanking, because he only did it when he felt it was justified. He also made it short and sharp, so it was not a beating. I did not feel I was being abused, just that it was a fair consequence for my action.

No one had heard of time out back then. These days time out is probably a better solution because times have changed and spanking is not approved by most people. You have to be really creative in finding ways to make sure kids do the right thing.

I think the most important thing (apart from them knowing absolutely that you love them) is that they must know you are in charge, not them, and that you will be consistent in applying a consequence to their actions, whether good or bad. If you're wishy-washy, they'll know they are in control, not you - but the buck stops with you, not them, so you have to be in control.

Why not seek help from a parenting course. There are many around. One of the best I've seen is "Growing Kids God's Way", which seemed very balanced and wise. I haven't seen it around for a while, but if you contacted a church or Christian bookshop they could help. A useful book is "Boundaries" which helps you to set personal boundaries, and I think there's a version to help with raising kids.

Answer 4

I took a child deveopement class and spanking releaces something inthe brain that is not good ( I can't remember what maybe cytosol?, but it could cause brain dammag). Time out is not only for the child but for the parent. When you get really mad spanking can lead to abuse even if you don't mean to and you just loose you temper. The timmeout gives the parent a chance to calm down and decise how to handle the situation. It also gives the child a chance to reflect on what they have done wrong. After the timmeout then you can explain why they are in trouble and what the consequences are. I was spanked and it didn't work. I would go with timmeout.

Answer 5

That's the big debate. Some children are very willful and you have to try different things to see what works best. You have to get creative. Sometimes you even have to get ridiculous, but the punishment should always fit the crime. Taking away privileges worked best for most kids. For the little ones, getting them to understand any of it is hard, so directing them to something else sometimes works. You may only need to get their attention to let them know they've passed the line between appropriate and no-no. I used what my kids called "the claw". I put my hand in the shape of a claw and grabbed them by one shoulder, firmly but not hard, and asked them, "WHAT are you doing?" When they have to think about it, things become clearer and it's an opportunity to let them do some reasoning and cause/effect can be taught. You have to remember that kids make mistakes, and many times they make the same ones over and over again. However, they need a warning about the consequences of their behavior and a chance to behave before the punishment kicks in. After all, this isn't the Army!

If it's a serious situation where they could cause harm to themselves or others, a "swat" may be in order, but only a swat with no muscle behind it and only on the rear, never on the face. Sometimes kids have poor impulse control and we need to get their attention first.

Whatever you decide, think back on what your childhood was like and how you would have changed anything. You have to follow your heart. Kids are pretty resilient.

Answer 6

Timeout.

Answer 7

Time out. One minute of time out per year old - so if your child is 4 years old, then use 4 minutes of time out. Be clear about what they time out is needed. Use a kitchen timer and make sure you are consistent. Reward positive behavior and give praise when the child follows directions.

Don't spank unless it's a life threatening situation like running out in traffic or some such very dangerous thing - spanking in general does not work.

Answer 8

For myself - I grew up before the term "time out" was invented. When I misbehaved I was sent to my room and/or was given a stern talking-to. When I had done something "really" bad or was very disrespectful my mom put me over her knee, pulled down my panties and spanked me. I still remember several occasions quite vividly - in retrospect I must say that I deserved each one of them.
For my daughters, I do use "time out" to get their attention. But I also spank them when necessary. Together, and mixed with a lot of love and encouragement, this has produced good results as far as I can tell.

Answer 9

Time outs always works better. When you spank a child they just get more worked up because you just physically hurt them but when you give them a time out they actually have to take a moment to think about why they are in time out which ultimately will hopefully teach them a better lesson then just a red tush will.

Answer 10

timeout... spanking can actually harm the child in more ways than one, im taking a parenting course and a big issue is discipline... especially if the child is young, it can lead to like scarring them for life and stuff.. so ya go with the timeout
ps. if the child is under 2, they won't even relate the bad behaviour with the spank! so it's just useless pain that's not teaching them anything!

Answer 11

Both. Depends on age, and circumstance. I was spanked a sa child. I don't think i'm maladjusted. Yes I do spank my children for lying, theft and murder. We talk a lot though. And as they get older, spanking is almost a yearly event for something really outrageous. Bend a tree when it is young.

I wish you well.