Dependency on a person?

Question

this question has to do with the same person:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmRj5.8t8qYZvz1D1mGiJmzty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071123201220AA1vwPY

I've been talking to this guy for a while and although in the beginning we had conversations about movies, w/e, later on we started talking about things that were more meaningful, like issues i've been having with my family life and stuff like that. i realized that by talking to him i've gained so much, because he actually gives me honest, insightful advice, and i feel like i've become a better person by listening to him. he always makes me think about things in a new and different way. i dont always like the way that i am, because i can freak out about the stupidest things, and i can be a spaz, but he is the total opposite from me and i feel like by talking to him i've been able to learn ways to improve myself. the bad thing is that i feel like i need him now, if i dont talk to him i dont feel right but i know he doesnt like me

Answer 1

The bottom line is if it works or not. When you consider everything, good and bad, is this something you want in your life? It doesn't have to be a romance. If you have romantic feelings for him and he starts dating somebody this will probably hurt. But there's nothing wrong with needing someone. Just keep the reality in mind that you will automatically get attatched to whoever you spend time with. So you want to spend your time and put your heart in safe places. But, nothing's perfectly safe either. Any person can reject you, move away, die etc. Just keep the attatchment factor in mind as a reality of being a human being. There are people and situations that are almost guaranteed to break your heart and then there are low risk situations.
The value of these conversations is not to be underestimated. Life is tough and sometimes you need to find help/comfort/support wherever you can get it. The risk is the closer you feel to this person the more you will want romance, and if he doesn't like you he will reject you in this way, which will suck no matter how you slice it. It's also possible he will change his mind and decide he wants to give romance a try. And it's also possible he won't. But, like I said it's your decision. Weigh the risks vs. rewards and make a decision you feel good about.