i have a fiance, we live apart. well we got in a huge fight about how i always drive over to see him(everyday) and he never comes to my house. he makes more than i do! i had asked him to come over tmw and he said i don't want to, you can come over here, and i told him i was tired of driving over there all the time. we got in a huge fight and then he tried to apologize and suck up by saying he would be over at my house @ 12, but i told him i already made plans (we got in a little argument about it the night before) to go to my friends house. well he completely blew up and asked for the ring back and we exchanged a lot of words, and now he wants me back. idk wat to do, he always does this and then when we break-up he says he'll change and everything, but never does. i do love him, but i am tired of doing all the work.( he never takes me out anymore, says he can't afford it but yet buys me lv purses all the time or buys a ton of tools) i have to pay when we go out. should i stay with him?
2007-12-29 16:32:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, it kind of started out bad, i had lied to him about me smoking, but it is all over and done with, he still brings it up, the only places we go to eat that he pays for is fast food.he was never like this, he doesn't even get dressed to see me anymore, and plays his xbox 360 when i am, like on christmas, he got on that thing and started playing after we exchanged gifts, i have told him, that is why he said he will change things. bby the way our going out now consists of going to lowes or home depot all friday and satrday and looking at tools for "our house" that we don't even have.
2007-12-29 16:48:34 · update #1
ther's another thing, we can go out with his friends and family but never go out with mine, heck this is the first time i will be with my friends without going behind his back. i know i make him out to be truely bad, i've done my share i guess (about smoking and i had called a male co-worker one time to see if i was going to work with him(he's been my friend since we were little) and went behind his back to visit friends) i do love him deep down but don't know whether to follow my head or heart.
2007-12-29 16:58:41 · update #2
If you continue with this relationship, then you're setting the stage for the marriage. Do you want this kind of relationship for the rest of your life? If he doesn't respect your wants and needs now, he won't respect them later, which will make for a miserable married life. I would have to say move on to a new and better relationship.
2007-12-29 16:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by mom4_5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the caveat that I'm only hearing your side of the story, this does not sound promising. What particularly bothers me is your remark about "he always does this." Domestic abusers have a classic pattern that goes
-Abusive behavior
(-Victim decides to leave--sometimes)
-Apologies and showering the victim with gifts and attention
(-Victim decides to stay, thinking abuser has changed)
-Escalating pattern of negative behavior, culminating in
-Abusive behavior
Even if he has never hit you, he certainly doesn't sound like he cares for you and your feelings much, or wants an equal relationship. I won't tell you to get out, but I will recommend you *strongly* re-evaluate this relationship and your decision to marry this guy.
Good luck!
2007-12-29 16:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by septegram 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like if you married him, it'd be miserable. You'd just fight all the time. Sounds like he doesn't respect your or care about your feelings. If he's like that now, he won't magically change after the wedding. If you live together, it will only get worse. You could pursue some counselling if you think he would go, or if you think it's worth it.
2007-12-29 17:14:39 · answer #3 · answered by Cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is how it is when you are engaged, just think how it will be when you two are married. You will be doing all the work, and he'll complain. Sounds like he's immature and selfish. Time for him to grow up or for you to cut your losses and move on.
2007-12-29 16:38:52 · answer #4 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this definitely sounds like a one sided relationship. i know how you feel i was in one for 3 years. and it was always me that made the effort. i finally had had enough. i broke up with and have found myself myself another guy and i couldn't be happier. so no i don't think you stay with him.
2007-12-29 16:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u should tell him all this (mayb in a letter or email if u fight too much). then maybe take him back, but not as a fiance, maybe not even a boyfreind, kinda start over.
2007-12-29 16:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by ms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on! he sounds like a jerk who doesnt even know what he wants. Why keep wasting your time? I bet you could find someone much better!
2007-12-29 16:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, obviousally he doesn't care about you. A man should be the leader, it's his job to pay when you go out and please YOU. If he is so unstable what will it be like when you're married?
2007-12-29 16:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
and you want to marry him?RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-12-29 16:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋