I've read a lot of question and a lot of stay at home moms think that they don't have a right to money because they don't make it their husband does. What's up with thinking like that?
2007-12-29 16:18:13 · 27 answers · asked by amt 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's becasue they think "equality" applies in economics only. This is silly, and also the reason why when SOME of these couples separate the man feels like he doesn't owe his spouse anything--because she LET him think that all the money always belonged to him only.
It's bad thinking for her, and the kids.
2007-12-29 16:28:50 · answer #1 · answered by K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that, doing it again. It is a self esteem thing. Where if you don't bring in money then you are living off the charity of your husband. I think I have beaten that syndrome since I am working on building a new business on my own. The thinking may be nonsense, but to many of us who use to work and were put into the position of stay at home mom, it is kind of a degrading feeling. If I don't work than I am not entitled to reap the benefits. Society (starting with the industrial revolution) and men who still think of women as Chattel or servants, have pounded this into women until we begin to think that way.
2007-12-30 00:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by Rev. Kaldea 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe for some there is a feeling of guilt of some sort.....Some feel that since they arent the ones out working and bringing home the bacon then why bother with the money although this is the first time i ever heard of antyhing like this...I mean, every woman i that i've heard seems to enjoy the idea of spending the money
2007-12-30 00:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have read a lot of questions about women needing money from their husbands when they aren't working and the responses say that if they want money they should go out and earn it themselves. I haven't seen any about SAHM who don't think they have a right to the money their husbands make yet. I am a SAHM to 4 kids and for all those responders who would say that I needed to go out and get a job in order for me to have money, I would ask them who exactly would look after the kids, feed the baby who is breastfed. Daycare is expensive. Any money I made would just about all go to daycare so I ask what is the point?
For all those SAHM who do think they don't have a right to the money their husbands make I say SAHMs unite! Having our husbands money to pay the bills is our right!
2007-12-30 00:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by Onyx ♠ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom because we can't afford day care for 4 kids....I CONTROL the money. I EARN it by tending to the kids, the house, the yard, the cars, the bills, the doctors, laundry, homework..... My husband just needs to go to work and come home..if he does anything above that it is optional (he does dishes...big plus for me)..Think about it if I put job titles to everything...babysitter, gardener, auto mechanic, accountant, receptionist, maid, teacher, taxi..and the list goes on..try and pay for that out of pocket..LOL I am a multitasking engineer and I deserve every red cent of my husbands money that I spend LMAO.
2007-12-30 00:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by redbrat34 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I stay at home with my kids, and have my own business, but when I'm not working I don't believe that I deserve less. My husband and I agreed that I would stay home, it doesn't mean I do less or deserve less.
I was going to school full time and working from home full time, right now I'm not working but I start Grad school in a month...I work hard, so does my husband...we are equal partners in this marriage...
2007-12-30 00:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by paganmom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is crazy, but I found myself feeling guilty for spending money on myself when I first became a stay at home Mum. I think it had to do with the fact that I had been earning a wage for 15 years and for the first time in my adult life I was totally dependent on someone else.....Not an entirely comfortable feeling! My husband was great tho, he never said or did anything to make me feel that way, it was totally me.
All is OK now tho.....I spend OUR money with wild abandon!!!
2007-12-30 00:25:54 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Kitty Kat >^,^< 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They apparently have esteem issues. A stay at home mom does more work than the husband does and she can't clock out at 5:00. Always on call, always overtime, and her husband would have to get a second job to pay her what she is worth!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in most cases, of course).
2007-12-30 00:24:20 · answer #8 · answered by MAS4 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there husbands probably trained them to think that way..it works the opposite in my house I am the stay at home mother and my husband works and gives me the paycheck and he gets an allowence out of it..we decided together that this was the system we would use because he is horrible with money mangement and I make sure the bills get paid
2007-12-30 00:22:55 · answer #9 · answered by little78lucky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
not all stay at home moms think like that. i'm a housewife and my husband and i share the money equally. we respect each other and think about each other's feelings and opinions about material items so we're happy with our finances and our stuff!
also, he understands that it's not HIS money. it's OUR money. (luckily, he's always been like that, but last year, i worked and he stayed home because he was sick, so we both understand what it feels like and we appreciate each other even more)
2007-12-30 00:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by tobysmomanddad 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋