I want to leave the LDS church...it is hard because the people in the church are great...any input?

Question

I just got baptized and felt compelled to read diligently. I realized by my own research that J. Smith had plural wives behind Emma's back. He found the scriptures by revelations, but at the time he was working for finding buried treasures during a treasure hunting craze in NY. He was incarcerated twice, he illegaly operated a bank for 21 days. I was motivated to find out more, because of the polygamy theory. I never felt that God would want us to commit adultery in order to go to Heaven. They also said that there was too many woman that needed support from a "man", but if $ was the issue...why have a lot of kids? Or the claim that there husbands were killed at war, there are records that these woman married to a "worthy" man, did it behind the back of their "other" husband.When I've asked the other members about J.Smith they have reasons, proof, and quotes on the good. On polygamy, they say to just have faith it came from God, couldn't give ANY explanation or reason why they did this?

Answer 1

I really empathize with you. I was baptized, did LOTS of studying on my own, and wound up leaving the church. There is a lot that the missionaries don't tell you during the discussions, and there is also a lot that other church members don't know about their own history.

That said, I still have a great fondness for many of the LDS folks I met. They are such amazing people :)

Anyways, I've included a link from exmormon.org on how to get your name removed. I've heard horror stories about the process, but for me it really was as simple as sending a letter in to Greg Dodge and just waiting.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

First, do not get bitter. If you want to leave the Church, do so.
When I left this Church I had at least 50 friends and 100 more loving acquintances at that time, yet I still decided to go with my gut and leave.

Let us start from the end. No matter what the history of the Church, you must admit it has a lot going for it. It is a wonderful family gathering, and it dwells a lot on raising a loving family. They do not have polygamy now so why even worry about what happened in the past.

The thing is you are not happy, because you are questioning, as I did, and did not receive the right answers.

To cut a long story short. I had black adopted boys, from birth. They grew up with others of their age, and when it became time to join the priesthood, my boys were not allowed to because of the color of their skin.

I will not go into more details, because I do not want to be judgemental or critical now, it is all over and done with.
I met with the Prophet at this time and the end result was that I basically changed the history of the LDS Church, by getting permission for my black children to be sealed in the temple.which we did. The first time ever. I then left the church and never went back. In 1978 when they accepted black people into the priesthood because it "came from God", I received about 150 phone calls in a few days, stating "now you can come back, your children can be in the priesthood". They did not understand at all really, because nothing would have made me go back for any reason.

I understand exactly what you are going through. You are questioning, seeking and not finding the answers that satisfy you. All I can say is good for you. You will find the world a very interesting place now, you can question, discover, find out more about other religions or no religion at all, just spirituality.

I no longer belong to any religion because I choose not to.
I am becoming aware, and more a spiritual person, by discovering on my own, reading and questioning.

Although you must make your own choices, I would like to emphasize that we must not judge. Everything I told you is a fact, not a judgement. The Mormon Church has many attributes and many of the members of the Church are wonderful loving people. Therefore, if you do choose to leave, leave with love and do not have any negativity in your heart. You can still have friends, if they are good friends and those that leave you, will not have really been a friend to you in the first place.

I feel you have a wonderful, exciting future ahead of you because you are thinking for yourself. Keep reading, everything you can lay your hands on, on every religion, every spiritual leader and also find as much as you can about the actual teachings of Jesus. If you follow what he was trying to teach this world, you will not go wrong.

p.s. If you can find the answer to this next question, I would appreciate your e-mailing me through Answers. I saw the wonderful Production of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at Christmas. It was a beautiful concert. However, one thing did strike me. Why is it that there were no black or ethnic faces in that huge choir. In 1978 when they changed the laws re black people in the priesthood, one started to see an increase in black faces in the choir, month by month. Then about a year after that, suddenly all white faces again. I am not saying that they have changed the rules again, and it could be that black people do not audition for the choir. But why? Out of that huge choir, not one ethnic face stood out.
Peace and Love.

Answer 3

The worst reason to leave the church would be that you were "tired of it"or "tired of living the way you were taught", those reasons would only be second to "someone offended you". I have though hard about this and I think a good reason would be that you find something better and leave, without hate or malice, a group of people that for the most part believe just what you did only a short time before. This kind of decision is very important and you wouldn't want to be hasty. I can also see moving far enough away from what the church teaches that it would not be a good fit anymore. I think a lot of prayer would be involved. BTW 7 of 9, my daughter had a beautiful, wonderful, spiritual patriarchal blessing that she(and I) will treasure forever, it is one of the too few spiritual experiences in my life that I hold dear to me and I'm sorry yours was not that way.

Answer 4

Why didn't you find all this out before you got baptised? It's not like we keep it all a secret.

Yes, Joseph Smith had more than one wife. But, no, he didn't do anything behind Emma's back (that I know of), no, he was never convicted of ANY crime (arrested, yes, but NEVER convicted), he was not a treasure seeker except for one time when someone hired him to do it, and the bank thing was not just him, he wasn't even the president or the head of it.

If you found out this stuff like this, you can easily find out the other sides of the stories. And there ARE other sides of these stories.

Unless you are one of those who only joined the LDS church so that you can leave and say to people "I WAS a Mormon, I KNOW what I'm talking about!" even tho you did the whole thing under false pretenses? It has happened.

Answer 5

I have never been in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but I have helped and encouraged those who wanted to leave it.

I will start by saying that I am a follower of Christ in the latter-days, but I am not LDS. I am not interested in denominationalism nor of the promotion of one church above another. What I am interested in is the true Gospel of Jesus Christ as recorded in the Holy Bible.

It sounds to me like you are an older LDS convert who perhaps had a Christian background. You were encouraged to join and be baptized before you really understood any of the LDS belief system and church history and how that impacts your life today. You are not alone. Several of the other answerers on this question are testimony to that and you have the love and support of all of us.

One thing you must realize, however, is that your life will be more difficult with those new friends you've made once you leave. Not that they are "bad" people, but the LDS church claims that those who leave the church after hearing and accepting the teachings are doomed to not inherit eternal life. Translation: You will not go to heaven, you will not live forever procreating your own spirit children, and you will suffer forever in the LDS hell. This will quite naturally put a strain on your relationship with the other LDS in your circle of friends.

There is hope! I encourage you to visit the website www.saintsalive.com. Saints Alive is led by a former Melchizedec priesthood holder, Ed Decker. He shares the truth of God's Word, The Holy Bible, and why the teachings of the LDS church differ so profoundly from it.

God bless you as you ponder these spiritual things. May you seek the Lord and find the truth of the real Jesus found in the Bible.

Answer 6

I left the LDS church and the reasons you listed were a big part of my decision. I don't believe any of the stupid reasons the church gives for polygamy and in my mind all the stuff about Smith doesn't add up. Yes, it's hard to leave, especially when you have so many nice friends who would do anything for you and that is all based on the fact that you are a Mormon. That's one of the things I miss most about the church. But I couldn't live a lie when I knew the truth. I hope you can decide what is best for you.

Answer 7

Ah. So you focus on all the bad of the church, and haven't asked the Lord, have you? That would definately 'help' someone to leave the church. I suppose you weren't listening or ever read Alma 32? The thing here is not about facts of Church history and the 'mistakes' of our leaders, its a fact that YOU do not have a testimony that Christ is at the head of the church. I'm sorry. There are several quotes that say something along the lines of: "The Church is true, the members aren't." and "It's true isn't it? What else matters?" If you went to Primary, which apparently you didn't, you would know that FAITH is the very first step. Not criticizing and finding all the faulty facts.

As to no one being able to explain certain points, I can only say, Who truly knows the thoughts of God? Isaiah 55: 8-9

I wonder....why did you join the church in the first place? The members? Good, but not good enough. Did the Holy Ghost tell you the church was true? If he did, what else matters?
Free agency is one of God's greatest gifts to us, but it is advised that you consult your Heavenly Father first, not man.
I hope you are happy with whatever choice you make.

Answer 8

Hi friend. If you just joined the Church, I think it would be premature to leave it. Give it some time. Let your testimony grow. I've also "read diligently," and that reading has only strengthened my testimony of the Church, despite its imperfections. You should be extremely careful when trying to learn about Mormons on the Internet because there are many, many lies, distortions, and conspiracy theories. Anti-Mormons do not give a balanced account of Church history. Anyone can publish anything on the web; there are many people in this country (and in the world) that are quite bigoted against Mormons. They exagreate and misrepresent Mormon history, often times dwelling only on the less-than-perfect aspects of our heritage. Don't be manipulated by these cunning bigots. Give yourself time to let God work on your heart.

As you know, the phrase "modern Mormon polygamist" is a misnomer. Mormons do not practice polygamy. Even in cultures where polygamy is acceptable (some Muslim countries, for example), Mormons NEVER have more than one wife. Any member found to have more than one wife is excommunicated.

Mormons believe polygamy is only acceptable on very rare occasions when God authorizes it (i.e. Abraham, Issac, Jacob, etc.). Otherwise, monogamy is the rule. (This is the message of Jacob 2:27-30 in the Book of Mormon.) Because God commanded Mormons to stop practicing polygamy in 1890, Mormons believe that modern-day polygamists are acting contrary to God's will. It is not that Mormons secretly want to practice polygamy but that the law/social norms/societal pressure prevent them. Mormons sincerely are not interested in practicing polygamy, because God has said it is no longer authorized.

Those that practice polygamy in Utah and Arizona are not Mormons. They belong to separate religions (usually FLDS).

If you or anyone else would like to learn more about Mormons from a reliable source, visit http://www.allaboutmormons.com .

Answer 9

Most LDS members that I Have met are very sweet people. However, if you are in conflict about what they teach, continue your search. There are other churches out there that are very good. I would suggest Seventh Day Adventist if you are looking because they do have a lot of the same idea's about health and such. They are also very inclined to love one another. This is just a suggestion, because I have surfed through many religions because I kept finding things that were wrong with their teachings. I finally came across the SDA church and so far, I have not found anything wrong with what they teach.

Answer 10

If you feel compelled to leave-do so. Take it as a sign from God.That's what the Holy Ghost is for. Its good you are doing your own research.Clearly, the other members are not. Just because the people are great doesn't mean they are right.I'm sorry this has happened to you.You may want to surf exmormon.org. That's a great website for LDS w/ questions, doubts, or those who have left. It will really help you.