How can I get over this burden of being alone all the time?

Question

I mean I see these people at my church who are so happily married and I am so wanting the same. I feel so unworthy to men. I mean no man wants a overweight woman. Face it!!! It doesn't matter if I have a good heart or not. Men look only on the outside of a woman. I am getting really tired of it too. It just isn't right. I try so hard not to let it get to me but it does. I talk to my friends but it seems I just get over this hump with this on teh way I feel. I feel so alone. ALL the time!! I know this is a pity pot but it gets unbearable sometimes.

I am just venting, Thanks for listening

Answer 1

Well conny, I understand excactly how you feel. I am not just saying that to make you feel better, I have been there. But guess what? When the time is right and God wants you to have that special someone in your life, you will be face to face with that person. I am overweight. I was 250lbs 4 yrs ago now am 330lbs. I am a truck driver and in this business we get fat. Food at truckstops are all very rich/greasy, and lack of excersise. I used to think women look at the prospective partners to be this "Fabio" type. Doesn't matter if you have a good heart or not. Today I am very happily married to my wife whom I met online 5 years ago off one of these matrimony websites. Chatted with her for 3 years, and never exchanged pictures for the first 6 months. Till we got to know each other a bit, and then 2 years ago we met in person, hit it off immensely and got married. So ma'am don't loose hope your time will come. My wife is very beautiful and around 110-20lbs, and it didn't matter to her that I was overweight. She fell in love with me. And yes, now I am trying my hardest to loose weight so I can enjoy a long life with her. Overweight causes problems in the end, high blood pressure, heart attack etc. So please don't loose hope and I wish you have a very Happy and Prosperous New Year, and all your dreams come true. Best of luck! :-)

Answer 2

You just go right on and vent! You are right, most men are so shallow. They don't look at the inside...only the cover of the book. I used to be overweight and felt the same way. It is very lonely, yet you try to make others happy around you and cover up that little girl inside. When I lost my weight, wow...the attention I got was like day and night. The men actually paid attention to me and even tried to get to know me...which made me furious. Here I was...the same person! I did NOT want someone as shallow as they were. Don't settle for second best. There actually are some "good" guys out there. Guys that have been too busy trying to help others. My advise to you is to get involved volunteering and meeting new people. Be yourself. Your prince WILL come along when you least expect it.

I remember going to bed crying at night because I wanted someone to share life with. I felt so alone and heartbroken. Then it happened. Now, he was not the best looking guy in the world...but his intelligence, character, compassion and morals more than made up for that.

Vent any time you want to. You go girl!!!

Answer 3

Where do you live? I'll come hang out with you!! It sucks that you feel like you do. Having a man isn't all it's cracked up to be either. I've been divorced twice allready and I'm 31. All I can say is to stop looking for love, let it find you. You should love yourself first, until then you won't be able to love any body else. And don't let yourself settle on the first thing. Be as picky as you want. My mom always told me that men are like parking spots, the good ones are always taken. And if you see a guy that is just to cute to be true, more than likely he's gay. Well I hope I made you smile at least. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

Hey, don't get down. There is someone for everyone - there are billions of people in the world! I think some of the online dating sites like Match.com really work - I know people in long term relationships (over one year) who have met that way. I think it's a good way for people to meet as long as your willing to wade through some BS to get to the good stuff. Just be honest about your weight and let only the guys who don't care about weight respond. Also, look for companionship other than men. Hang out with your women friends and family. No need to be lonely just because the right guy hasn't come along yet. Take care!

Answer 5

Don't feel so bad. I am in the same boat....I am at least 100 lbs overweight but I found my fiance when I was at my lowest. Don't despaire. Everyone out there has a soulmate...I know. It sounds really corny. I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.

And trust me. Not all men look at the outside. And not all men look to see how much money you have. Maybe you are looking in the wrong place.

Try losing a few pounds...You will feel better about yourself, and it will show. Do it in five pound increments. And above all else, get the bad food out of the house and eat healthy. I've started and I feel better about myself already. Its a start.

Good luck to a new you in a new year :o)

Answer 6

Men need physical and intellectual stimulation. I mean, if you feel good about yourself, I guess there wouldn't be any reason to change. But if you're unhappy with your weight or appearance (or both), then maybe you could make some changes to your self too. I guess it SOUNDS mean to say no man would want an overweight woman (there have to be some out there), but I 'm a guy and I know I need physical and mental attraction when it comes to looking for a woman to be with. With that being said, I should note that one should only expect to be with someone who is in as good shape as one's self. So, if you want an overweight guy who may be unhealthy, then stay overweight, and if you want an athletic/slim guy who is in good health, than you'll probably have to lose some weight. That's the harsh reality of it. Because, you're obviously thoughtful and a thinker, and I'm betting you have a good heart too, so, that combined with some good looks will win you more guys to choose from!

Answer 7

That's not always true, but often true. If you can do something about your weight, then do it. Not for the guys, but because it'll increase your confidence, then you'll feel and act more attractive. "Cracking the love code" by Janet O'Neal is a good book to help you get yourself going in the dating scene. Have you tried asking your friends and all the happily marrieds if they can introduce you to anyone? Someone is bound to have a brother or friend. Even if you only go on one date, you'll feel better for getting started. Join a new social group, a hobby group or something. Most are gender segregated, but some aren't. I'm in the SCA and know plenty of couples who've hooked up through that. Even if you don't meet someone in your new hobby group, you'll be having fun and learning/ improving at your hobby, so you won't feel you are wasting your time.

Answer 8

Lonliness incites people to do crazy things. It is one of the toughest aspects of being human. I've spent many lonely days and nights with myself. What I discovered through this is that you are your own best friend. How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. So, my friend, treat yourself very well. Start changing your thoughts about lonliness. That is the only way to make a change. Open your mind to the possibility of making a friend. Instead of thinking you are too unworthy, or too overweight, or too this or too that, stop your thoughts and think you are worthy of a great friend, whenever you think you are too overweight, stop that thought and replace it with a thought like, I am exactly the weight I need to be at this time in my life. Then occupy your mind with something positive. Think of all your good qualities and how they can draw someone to you. There are lots of people exactly like you who are lonely too. When you are ready someone will come into your life. Good luck with your endeavor.

Answer 9

just because they appear happy at church doesnt mean they are. You can meet some nice people-believe it or not there are some. Do you take care of yourself-no offense but-make up, nice hair style etc make a world of difference. I am not small but I try to put my hair up pretty and stuff. i know that you are depressed about meeting Mr. Right but until you find him you have to work on you! He is out there.Exude confidence-not the "ooh I am fat-pity me" routine. When you go out-what are you wearing? leggins and a tshirt? If you show that you care about yourself-it makes all the wonders in the world. I hope i didnt upset you but this is something to think about.

Answer 10

I actually know how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same way since most of my friends are going out and with someone while on weekends I'll be the only one at home while everyone else is out having fun without me. All I have to say is just go be yourself and have fun! Eventually you'll meet someone.

I believe that everyone has a soul mate and when you find that right person, you'll know it. It maybe take a while for you but you'll find him! So don't give up hope! For now, hang out with your girl friends and stop worrying. Good luck !