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I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. I absolutely love everything about him except how he handles money. About a year ago we laid everything out on the line about our future. One of the things we discussed was money. It turns out that he was about $20,000 in debt (credit card) which shocked the heck out of me!
He owns his own condo and has a roommate. His roomate gives him $400 for rent ( believe his mortgage is $1200) his roommate does not pay him utilities (which I think would help big time!- he's too afraid to ask now because he has lived with him for 3 years and he's afraid he might altogether move out. The $400 a month really helps.)
My concern is that I truly do see a great future with him. I am in no position to move in or get married just yet. I would like to start/finish grad school. I hope to start school next fall and the program is 2 years long-very intense and you cannot work. If I cannot work I obviously can't contribute financially to a marraige- so I plan on waiting to advance our relationship further until I am finished with school.
I realize that he has plenty of time to change. His consolidated his credit card and is really trying to save money (though he hasn't). With his work schedule he cannot go back to school and persue another career at this time. He has too much to pay for. I don't mind helping him out but I am so sick of paying for everything because he doesn't have any money. -- does that sound bitchy?
The other day I looked at his cable bill and he pays over $140 a month for cable and internet! I think that's outrageous. I know he can get that for cheaper.
How do I express my feelings about money without hurting his feelings? I know that money is a really touch subject in relationships- I do make more than he does.
What should I do?
2007-12-29 14:49:57 · 3 answers · asked by CJ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know we need to talk about it, it's just that should I bring it up? It's not like I plan on getting marriend any time soon. We really do have a great relaionship- this is our ONLY problem and i'm not sure he knows how bad it bothers me. I KNOW it bothers him.
2007-12-29 14:59:33 · update #1
You better talk to him somehow. Your bf does not know how to manage money, and it is the #1 reason couples get divorced. If you cannot talk to him and set some groundrules very early, you will be looking at VERY difficult times ahead.
2007-12-29 14:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by Gina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to straighten up his financial life or you're leaving him. You deserve a guy who is financially, emotionally and mentally stable.
2007-12-29 22:53:08 · answer #2 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him , stay with me instead
2007-12-29 23:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋