2007-12-29 14:13:45 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
State the reality of doing that......... and possible warnings. Ask who is advising him or influencing him (possibly). And state the consequences below to consider....,. (show him your bills to give him a visual on costs....a reality check?)....
Costs of living,
Where he thinks he is going to live,
Food,
Bills,
Costs of rent, gas, electric, water, other utilities,
Warn him that if he does leave, he will be "officially" on his own........car to drive, and all.
I went through this when my now married 28 year old daughter was only 17 also. She returned home the next morning in tears stating that she had no where to go, no money, no clothes, nothing! I said "okay, now we need to talk". I took her upstairs and we sat down where it was peaceful and quiet and it set the rules for her living under our roof. Well, that was 11 years ago and she turned out wonderful, and just got married this past June/07.
Sometimes a little tough love, and an adventure trip away from home and the realization that it's not so green on the other side isn't such a bad "experience". It may make him realize that he's more than blessed to have parents and a warm home to be in when it's cold, raining, snowing, and just plain yucky outside, and friends let them down. It may be hard on you, but a little or mini shake-up may make all the difference on his decision. "I hope and pray". My deepest blessings to you and your son.
2007-12-29 14:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by Pilot ~ canine son! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you have tried all the restrictions and other forms of punishment. I agree with the first answer. Time for a talk.
There is a much deeper issue than sneaking out of the house. Stopping him from doing that only changes the behavior but doesn't solve the problem. Bad choices usually stem from some deeper problem inside the person. It could be anything from peer pressure to teenage rebellion.
I have found with my 14 y/o son that it is easier for me to set up boundaries after I have given him the freedom to share his story, actively listen, and don't retaliate or defend my position. Once we both understand where the other is coming from, we have an easier time coming to an agreement.
I grew up with a parent who would give me a two-fold answer to my questions as to why certain boundaries were set: "I'm grown and shut up." Though I would shut up, I never really understood whay the boundaries were there and therefore did not respect them.
If you believe in prayer, pray. Then go to your son and ask his permission to listen to him. Respect his feelings and thoughts. Then share yours and try to reach an understanding.
I pray that all goes well.
2007-12-29 14:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Chuck O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much really. I left my home at 16. I didn't have permission and even though he is a run away, the cops aren't going to look for him. Sad reality.
2007-12-29 14:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
time to talk and set up boundaries with the 17 year old
2007-12-29 14:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by No More Abuse 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call police they will inform you where he is when the locate him but will not make him come home, and you are still responsible until he turns 18.
2007-12-29 14:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU COULD EMANCIPATE HIM. TELL HIM SINCE HE THINKS HE DOESN'T NEED YOU HE SHOULD MOVE OUT AND BE ON HIS OWN, IF HE TAKES YOU UP ON IT HE'LL BE CRYING TO COME HOME W/IN A YEAR.
OTHERWISE TRY TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND TREAT HIM LIKE AN ADULT, LEGALLY HE WILL BE NEXT YEAR. DO YOU WANT HIM TO MOVE OUT AND NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN?
WHY CANT HE LEAVE IS HE GROUNDED? WHAT DID HE DO?
2007-12-29 14:27:13 · answer #6 · answered by SARAH W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋