Do you ever miss what was bad for you (read on, please) :) ?

Question

I mean, the things that were good about people or situations that were not good for you, and that you don't want back in your life. In your particular situations (no need to write about them, if you don't want to), have you found a way of keeping the good, while leaving the bad, or was it neccessary to leave all, to be able to move on?

I'm not asking for advice, this is a general question :)

Thank you for your answers! :)

Have a wonderful Sunday! :)

Answer 1

Yes, every day. We cannot entirely abandon anything that has been important to us without abandoning part of ourselves. I still miss a lady I loved more than 50 years ago, but we had to part. I know we could not have gone on living together, but it was the most passionate, wonderful, and painful period of my life. I last saw her more than 30 years ago. We still loved each other as we always had, but I had children I could not leave any more than she could risk losing her own daughter years previously. And anyway I knew I could not live with her. She was feverish, gregarious, and I am not - I need a pool of calm. So I remember the good of our lives, with gratitude, love, and an ineradicable sense of grief. But I am equally grateful for the life I've had, and have now, and my children, and those I love and love me, even though it is without her. We can have more than one love, and more than one life, in a life. That is the glory, and the price, of a life fully lived. The mistake is to want it all, all at once. That way you merely lose the lot. And harm others as well. It's best to take the wounds one must, and carry them lightly so they will not harm others. But things concealed can turn to fester, so it's also best to live as openly as possible, I think. Life's a bit of a slack-wire act without a safety net. What an adventure. And adventures were never meant to be comfortable! But all griefs end when we die. That's a happy thought to make up for what we don't want to end.

Answer 2

I really still miss cigarettes....seriously
but to answer what you are asking, I feel you have to leave it all behind..
For Example a person may live with someone who is abusive but can also be very loving when not angry. Just because someone is "being good " for now the bad side can always come back, and like the cigarette example it is best to not be around the offender
does that make sense?

Answer 3

Good question! I think that there is a sense of loss at first when we have to leave old friends behind because our main activities (drugs, drinking,etc.) are not things I want in my life anymore. I could still go around them but it isn't the same anymore and it's a little sad.

But I don't miss the things that were bad for me. What I have now is so much better! It was necessary to leave a lot behind in order to move on. And I am a better person for it! ... Blessings!

Answer 4

Sometimes it seems like everything I love is bad for me. It's bad for my teeth or it's bad for my weight or it's even bad for my health. I used to love to walk in the rain, so then I started getting Pneumonia all the time. I loved being a folk singer but it wasn't a good career move for someone who was thinking about having a family someday. The foods I love are too salty or too greasy or fattening or full of nitrates. Thank the good lord for Chocolate. There is finally something for me to eat that is actually good for me. Chocolate is the new health food. As long as I have chocolate to bring me up and coffee to calm me down, I might be okay. Now if I can just keep the grandkids from washing my coffee cup and hiding the salt shaker - sheesh - a man has to have a bad habit to keep from being boring, haven't they heard?

Answer 5

I have had people in my life that loved to play mental games with me-I am a person who will seek the answer to a puzzle until I get it...drives me batty...so its not that I miss the person in question that I speak of, it's the question "what in the devil did you get out of acting the way you have acted?!" I have learned not to ask why because there is no justification for evil, and even if why was answered it wouldn't be a good enough answer for me. So I am kinda in betwixt and between...

Answer 6

Yes, I believe I can speak to that.
I had an alcoholic father and while I was growing up, it was pure hell living at home as he was very volatile. However, he was never abusive physically. It has taken me over twenty years since his death to get over the trauma and realize what a brilliant person he was under it all and what a marvelous sense of humor he had when he was sober. So these things I will hang on to.

Answer 7

Yeah, I miss a number of experiences, that if I could remove them from the bad situations, I'd love to have back in my life.

Answer 8

You mean like hanging out with people who always got you in trouble? I miss it a lot, and I'd take it back without a second thought if I could. In that case, I'd prefer to keep the bad. The bad is what made it so much fun.

Answer 9

Moon, a very interesting question. And very poignant for me.

I had a situation that no good came from. I had to re-build my self esteem, I had to forgive myself, and ask God to forgive me, too. Sometimes I still re-live it.

I dropped it all. Walked away, damaged and did my best to rebuild.

And hope that the Lord I serve may have mercy upon me.

Peace to you, Moon :)

Answer 10

Things change.. people change. What was good, isn't anymore...at least not for me. I tried keeping what I thought was an okay part, but it didn't work out. Sometimes, you just have to start out new without any of the old stuff. Sometimes, change is good and can open new doors.