My two daughters, who just turned 18 & are seniors in high school, left to go snowboarding/tubbing with a couple friends yesterday morning. One of them got her wisdom teeth out a week ago and is still on painkillers. I told her not to snowboard and she agreed. They called me when they go there to tell me they'd be home around 9pm. They walked in the door at 915 yesterday and the one who just got her wisdom teeth out had her arm wrapped and in a sling and said to me, "Sorry, I snowboarded. We have to go to the doctors on Monday to get a cast."
I am furious over the fact that NEITHER of them called me when they went to hospital (how they filled out papers is beyond me) and that she snowboarded anyway. My husband on the other hand, is just glad she's ok and has moved on so we've yet to decide what to do.
How would you feel in this situation?
2007-12-29 12:57:16 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The meds made her tired and on the bottle it says not to participate in sports, operate machinery etc if it does so. This wasn’t MY grounding rule to not snowboard and I would think as an “adult” she’d understand this…obviously not. That’s what I’m truly annoyed about.
2007-12-29 13:37:11 · update #1
I'm glad you're annoyed. I'm annoyed reading it and it's not even my kid. You need to talk.
First off, they're seniors in high school and still living at home. I don't know too many parents of an 18yr senior who would just let their kid do whatever the heck they wanted. At 18 you may be an adult to the government which means they can send you to jail, allow you to vote, send you to war and then allow you to go to a strip club to celebrate. I don't see anything about not having to show respect for your parents or being too old to be in trouble, especially if you're still living at home. I'm sure your girls aren't any more mature now than they were a month or two ago when they were 17yrs.
The fact that she went behind your back and went snowboarding anyway isn't acceptable. She was told to not snowboard FOR A REASON= ON PAINKILLERS. A SMART "ADULT" WOULD NOT HAVE SNOWBOARDED. They were wrong in the sense of not calling when they got to the hospital. Just a heads up..."Mom, _____ hurt her wrist and we're in the hospital, but she's ok." I'm sure they didn't call because they wanted to prove they're adults... They were afraid they'd get in trouble! Even I call my own mother when I go to the hospital for something. (How did they fill out the insurance?)
I would have a talk with both of them and explain how furious you are. They're 18yrs, going off to college soon, and need to start making decisions. This one wasn't the complicated of a situation to do the right thing. My older three are 21, 19 and 18yrs and I had this talk with each of them, my oldest several times her senior year of high school. If you screw up big time in college, Mommy and Daddy aren't going to be right there to catch you. So yes, you only fell this time, hurt your wrist and handled it, bravo, I'm glad you're fine. But next year if you're on meds b/c youre sick and you go to a party and drink....
With a broken arm, you're kind of limited for the next few weeks. I'd keep both of them close to home for a couple days.
Happy Holidays.
2007-12-29 13:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jen Y 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Some of these answers crack me up.
I have triplets that turned 18yrs back in Oct and are seniors in high school. There is no way they could have filled out the paperwork at the hospital themselves without insurance information. The adult thing to do in that situation would be to call and inform you of what had happened, but that things were under control. I don't know about everyone else but if my kid came home and I asked how their day was, I would be asking questions if I got: "I hung out with my friends, went snowboarding, hurt my wrist, went to the hospital and then came home. How 'bout you?"
Second, she's old enough now to start taking care of herself and should have been responsible enough to think about the meds she was taking and what it says on the bottle. It seems like youre angry over the fact that she couldn't simply follow a medication warning and went behind your back about it.
I'd have a talk about decision making with both of them. They're going to be on their own in a few months. Just because you're 18 and you're legally an "adult" doesn't mean they're going to act like one.
2007-12-29 23:24:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her it served her right! And then smile smugly to really pee her off.
Come on. They're 18, not 8. If this is the worst they own up to, be glad. At 18 I left school and left home to go to university. That was 30 yrs ago and I haven't lived with my folks since. I should hope two 18yo women were capable of dealing with hospital admission forms.
Perhaps you should congratulate them on dealing with everything so competently and looking after each other without having to worry you/ drag you out there unnecessarily again?
2007-12-29 21:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by who me? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be furious. Also though you may not want to be to hard on her. Some teens just give into temptation. I know it sounds silly but she might not have just blown off her promise to you. They probably never called knowing you'd be angry. You should also be happy she's okay, something so much worse could have happened. I'm not a parent but I know teens pretty well. It's not about defying their parents most of the time it's just being over confident you'll be okay. So you can be mad at her but I'm guessing having a broken or fractured arm whatever the case may be probably gave her a tough lesson about it. I wouldn't be to hard and again just be glad she's alright. She might have just thought you were being over protective; which is no reason to ignore your asking but she's injured and probably regretting it right now.
2007-12-29 21:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Here 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be a little upset but that is it. I would tell them how I feel about not being called and let it go. She was able to fill out the papers because she is an adult. She is still a teenager and she is still going to make some wrong decisions. That is how we learn.
2007-12-29 21:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this type of thing has happened before, then you need to take a stand. I would be furious if my daughter (teen) went to the hospital for ANY reason without calling me.
With that said, if they are mature, responsible adults, I would say how I feel and move on. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2007-12-29 21:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by mel s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As for how they filled out papers, they are 18. Insurance is another issue. I guess I would be upset. But on the other hand, I can also imagine being the one who is sitting watching everyone else snowboard. Eventually tempatation takes over.
2007-12-29 21:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by roadrocker2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should have stuck with the tubbing part of the trip.
I would have been extremely annoyed. I tell my daughter, who just turned 18yrs as well, to ALWAYS call me if something is wrong. Forget the 18-Adult crap. You're living under my house...my rules. I don't care if you lied to me about where you were going and got hurt and are going to the hopsital because of it...you call me. We'll deal with the pain issue first AND THEN the lying part. Pain isn't going to erase the mistake.
2007-12-29 21:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, your daughters are legal adults. That's how they filled out papers at the hospital. Why she is still on pain killers a week after getting wisdom teeth out is what I find strange. I guess your daughter has learned a lesson. Why do you feel the need to further punish her?
2007-12-29 21:08:28 · answer #9 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They are teenagers. Stuff happens. While 'd be asking her what on earth she was thinking, breaking her arm is a pretty good punishment and reminder of how stupid it was.
Be thankful she wasn't driving a car and that she didn't hurt anyone else. She may be a "legal" adult but she's still a teenager. LOL
2007-12-29 21:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by pinkpiglet126 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋