is it weird to get married to someone older with 11 years?

Question

I'm 18,, there is some guy,, actually my cousin and he loves me.. he is 29 he said that he has been thinking about me since 2 years but he was waiting for me to turn 18.. anyway he is cute and I used to like him but I never thought that I could oneday get married to him or anything, I'm still virgin, saving myself for real love, do you think it's wrong to marry when you're 18? is it wrong to marry someone older with 11 years? how could I be sure that I love him? I'm confused cuz sometimes I feel like I'm in love with him and sometimes like yeah ok he is good!! please I need help I'm so confused I don't know what to do?!!!

I have been with him for around a month and it feels ok, I'm not going to marry soon anyway,, and there is something I was totally against the idea of marring a cousin or something but I dunno how I did change my mind...

Answer 1

Forget about the age difference...Why would you want to marry your cousin? That's sick!

Answer 2

By now probably many people have told you that the hardest part of your question is not your age (research shows that the younger the person that enters into a marriage is, the marriage will last longer), nor the age difference (in fact, many couples have much bigger age differences and are successful and happy, my parents had a 20 year difference and that was never an issue); but the family relationship may be an issue.

If he's your first cousin, most states would prohibit you from marrying him, if he's a 2nd cousin, most states would allow it. Generally speaking, the more diverse the gene pool, the better offspring you'll have (which would improve not only the chances of your kids being healthy, but also help the whole of humanity be more resilient).

Best of luck with any decision you make and Happy New Year.

Answer 3

I'm dating someone that's 13 years older than me, but then again, I'm 26... furthermore, we're not related. I think it's a matter of maturity... Knowing what I know now, I'm SO SO SO SO glad that I didn't get married at the age of 18. You have so much more growing up to do... TRUST ME! Plus, the whole cousin situation is not sitting too well with me.

Answer 4

First of all, you should not be thinking about marriage right now, trust me. I know that it is a great feeling to think that you love someone, but this is a time of you life that you need to yourself. You should explore all that life can give you. Go to college, travel, even party. When you get married a lot of things will no longer be possible. This is a time to get to know yourself. When the RIGHT man comes along, you will not have to question it. Secondly, HE IS YOUR COUSIN, DON'T DO IT! Age does not matter much once both you reach about 30 and over , but for 18 to 29, you both are in different worlds. Plus if you think about, a man that has been lusting over a young girl (you before 18), is not the type of man that you would want to raise your children (young girls). He my seem nice but these are all red flag warnings. check out this site. Dr. Laura has all she answers.

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like you've been in a relationship with him for long enough to even consider marriage. Many people who are in love don't get married for years... Now that you've turned 18 and he's confessed his love for you, you want to jump to marriage? Regardless of whether he's your cousin or he's 11 years older, try dating him for longer than a week. That's how everyone figures out whether they're in love. You don't just automatically jump to marriage if there's just a possibility.

Answer 6

i think you are still too young. i think that i would say 11 year difference is ok if you were 24 and he was 35...i think then you could make a good choice. i also think that the fact that you are doubting this means that something is wrong...one should be almost 100 percent sure that they are making the right choice about marriage. i don't know about your love with him, so i can't be a very good judge, but i think that if your love is that great you could wait a few year and avoid making a potentially huge mistake

Answer 7

No, It's normal.
But the cousin status slightly un-pleasant (close family relation ship).
Age 18 compared to 29 years old is no big deal if both of you mature emotionally.

Just proceed, progress and keep the best thing on, improve whatever lacking. Good Luck!

Answer 8

18 is very young but for a girl its not as bad for a boy because they are usually more immature. Its not wrong to marry someone 11 years older. My parents are 9 years apart and also first cousins! I know plenty of people who are 9 10 even 15 YEARS apart.. love is love.. if everything fits..

Answer 9

If you are 18 and he is 29, that's a little weird especially if he said he was waiting for you to turn 18 so he could be with you. Besides, he is your cousin!!!!

Answer 10

Hi
I recommend you that wait more years to marry, because you can make a big mistake. When you have 20 or 21 years and you love very much this guy, marry with him.
Good luck!

Answer 11

Seems like a lot to you now but it isn't. By now he probably has it together and would be a catch. You need to ask yourself if you are mature enough for him, I think you are. Otherwise you would not ask.

THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE OF GENETIC PROBLEMS MARRYING COUSINS. BUT THE MYTH LIVES ON IN THE MINDS OF THE IGNORANT. AND THERE ARE LOTS OF THEM ON ANSWERS. COMMENTS ON HERE ARE PROOF OF WHAT I SAY. CONSULT AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT AND YOU WILL SEE THE TRUTH. STATES DO NOT PROHIBIT COUSINS FROM MARRYING, ANOTHER MYTH. AND YOU WILL NOT PRODUCE DEFECTIVE CHILDREN, ANY MORE THAN NON COUSINS DO. SO DO WHAT YOU PLEASE. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE ELSEWHERE SINCE THERE IS SO MUCH IGNORANCE AROUND.