Last night he called drunk?

Question

I feel somewhat embaressed to post this because it feels like I should be able to handle this on my own. Last night, the man that I am seeing called me drunk and he had been drinking for 2 days straight. He told me how much he loves me and how much he wants it to work between us, etc. (We recently reconciled after a six month breakup.)

Today when he called, I was distant with him and told him I felt uncomfortable with him drinking for 2 days straight and that I had been worried about him. He said not to worry, and that drinking is not a problem for him.

He had to got to work, so we couldn't talk but I am feeling very uncomfortable about this.

I'd just like to hear another take on this.

Nial, I am uncomfortable with him drinking for 2 days straight. I hate drinking. He told me last night he wants to quit, because he loves me. I believe he wants to, and that he does love me, but I feel unhappy with him when he drinks to drunkenness.

I don't drink; I will never be happy with him drinking, but I don't want to turn into a nag.

Answer 1

Well don't feel embarrassed about asking for help and guidance.
We all need to do that at times.

Yes I'd be very uncomfortable too. I think what you really need to do is to find out whether he has a drinking problem or not. It makes a big difference. Drunk people scare me. I usually try to avoid them.

Answer 2

I dated someone who drank a lot and would pass out. It was not for me. I started only dating people who didn't smoke or drink. If he drinks, maybe a beer once in a while.

Your gut is probably telling you to stay away from this guy. It is okay to be just friends, but I don't think he is what you are looking for. I don't blame you for being uncomfortable.

Sit down with him and be open and honest with what you want out of the relationship and what you cannot tolerate. He will know what is expected and will have no excuses if he messes up.

I stated, non drinker, non smoker, if they want to date someone else besides me, then tell me first. I deserve the respect rather than hearing it after I found out another way. Feelings get hurt more if not told upfront by the person.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

I understand how uncomfortable you could feel about this. I very much hope you steel yourself to do what is in your best interest. Do not under any circumstances allow this business of not having a drinking problem to stand unchallenged. It matters not whether he's truthful when drunk or not. It certainly does matter that he's drunk. When he's drunk he's not in control of his senses. Drinking for two days is very serious. Your best interests are to be VERY distant from him until and unless he gets sober and stays that way.

Answer 4

Follow your gut feeling. This is just the beginning. Why did you break-up before? Was it for some of the same things? Don't settle for someone that disrespects you. This may seem like a small thing, but it only gets worse with the late night drunk phone calls.You can do a lot better.

Answer 5

You have shown no evidence to say he's an Alcoholic, so I wish everyone wouldnt jump to conclusions. I have alot of mates in UNI that are constantly drinking, all weekend etc. They're just "living while they're young", not saying that its healthy, but they're not alcoholics!!
Its the "festive season", (unfortunatly) alot of people drink heavily around this time of year. I think as long as he's not drinking excessively all the time, it shouldn't be an issue, but do tell him how it makes you feel. And tell him not to "drink and dial" you. Talk about your relationship and each others feelings when his sober. There's nothing worse than someone who only "opens up" when drinking...

Answer 6

hi love
uncomfortable about he called and told that he loves you, or that he is drinking...

you have to decide if you and him are worth it, or is it a case of the better the devil you know than the devil you don't...

the drinking thing could be a release pressure valve if you like, and it is a blip and means nothing, therefore, he doesn't have to drink like that


I guess you will have to meet him, for a meal or something like that, and if the butterflies are there, happy days, otherwise you will break up again and better never to reconcile.

Answer 7

for two days straight? i think there may be a little to worry about. was it constant drinking? was something on his mind for him to ust start drinking like this? has he done it before? you andhim should really sit down and have a good conversation. if it was bothering you that much maybe you should give him some space. a lil me time......to get himself together and maybe you should reevaluate the relationship all together. is this something he started after the 1st breakup? something is bothering him if he has never done tis before and he should seek professional help before he hurts himself or someone else.

Answer 8

If you don't feel good about it then you shouldn't be in the relationship, beside there is something wrong with the relationship when your man can express his feelings to you without being drunk. You should take a step back and evaluate your choices and make the one that is right for you!

Answer 9

He's an alcoholic. He needs help. I've found that the second time around is worse with a partner because you two have the same problems and cannot find someone else to be with.

However, if you do love him, let him know. Let him also know that you are going to stay somewhere else until he seeks help.

Answer 10

He is an alcoholic, and you need to run FAR FAR AWAY!
That is unless you enjoy being together or married to somebody with no control of their lives, who destroys relationships, loses jobs, has blackouts, crashes cars (maybe with your OR YOUR KIDS in them!), beats you, beats and maybe sexually abuses your kids - you get the picture.
Best luck, and pick a guy without the drinking problem.
PS: Drunks ALWAYS find some "nice" person (i.e, sucker) who puts up with their BS and thinks they can change them (they can't) That's called an "enabler" and by being nice, helps that person drink themselves to death. They ALWAYS promise to change - addicts lie!!!!