2007-12-29 10:51:00 · 16 answers · asked by Stacey N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try going to a college campus.... most of the guys there are drunk and they won't care about the kid.. No, for real though.... just assure the guy that you won't let your kid watch you guys do your thing in the bedroom, and he should be fine. Also... tell him that he won't be expected to buy the kid anything. Thats what most guys are scared of.
PS- Do you wanna meet up for a drink?
2007-12-29 11:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by Nathan L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends alot on timing, and on the person. I have a 5 yr. old girl and a 3 yr. old boy. I meet my boyfriend because he happened to work in a store that my mother was working in. And he does not have any children of his own.
You will know when you have found the right single guy, who either does, or does not have children of his own, that will not mind the fact that you have a son.
Because as it stands, the two of you are a package.
I wish you the best.. Happy New Year!
2007-12-29 18:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sapphire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know why guys get scared off when you say you have a child? Probably because it's one of the first things you say to him when you meet him, "Hi, my name is bla bla bla, I work for bla bla bla, I have a child!"
Yes, having a child changes you and affects your life in the biggest way, but the guy you meet doesn't want to hear your life story the VERY first time that you meet.
Remember, guys have funny ego things sometimes. They like to chase the girl, they even sometimes like to think they're the only one for you, that's why guys like virgins, i's a conquering thing, or something.
So when you meet a guy, he wants to get to know you, but piece by piece. Don't bombard him with all that you are, you can do that when you meet girls, but guys can't handle it, I don't know why.
Make sure you are interesting, in every possible way. What hobbies do you do? What are your passions? What are your dislikes, likes, favourite things?
Feed this information to him, little by little and make him work to get to know you. He wants to be the discoverer, not just, 'well, here it is, this is all of me, so now what?' you know?
Having a child already can be seen by the guy as, oh, your life is already at a certain point, so it won't be fun or spontaneous anymore. That doesn't have to be true, but that's the perception (misconception?) of it, unfortunately.
Maybe you can wait a while before you tell him that you have a child? Maybe you can just mention it casually (even though it's not a casual thing, I know) and see how he takes it... don't mention anything else about it, unless he asks and seems interested. If he's not at least seemingly interested to be polite, then you will know that he probably has a problem with it.
You can't just jump on a guy with a flashing neon sign that says "I have a child", unfortunately, most guys will run so fast in the opposite direction!
Remember, he first and foremost, will want to get to know YOU. Who you are, what you're all about, and see if the two of you are compatible first. THEN if you like him, and he likes you, he will no doubt be okay with you having a kid. The next test will be whether your kid likes him or not. That is important too, but not until after you're sure that you and this guy even have potential together in the first place.
Remember, introducing your new man to your kid is just as important as introducing your kid to your new man. YOU are the only one who can sense when it is right, and if there are any red flags, don't go through with it.
You hear so many stories on the news and t.v. where single parents just love their new partners so much, and ignore the warning signs that their new partner is abusing the kids. That is because they want the fantasy and want the relationship so much, and forget about what's really important, and who they are.
Make the aim to be true to yourself and your kid first. Know who you are, and what you want, and what you don't want, before you even think about looking for dates. Then you will have your priorities in place, and be much more likely to succeed at this.
I wish you luck, and love.
x x x
2007-12-29 19:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we're all looking for a nice single guy. when you find a place where there are lots of them - tell us. joking. I think you should be patient and meet more people. say from the very begining that you have a child - he'll disappear if he's against and you won't waste time. I'm sure many don't mind
2007-12-29 18:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by ania361 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're asking a lot, but there are mature men who would be willing to get involved with you and not only accept but be a positive male role model for your son. is the father around? if not, it will be a lot easier in many ways, even though the boy needs a father more than you can imagine.
when you find someone decent and interesting, proceed with caution. it's important that your son accept that this man is in your life. you don't want to let the kid determine your love life, but you don't want a string of strangers coming into and out of his life. he'll get attached, only to see them leave.
you have a huge challenge ahead of you. be strong and do what's right for your child.
2007-12-29 19:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by wendy.bryan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about finding another single parent?
And honestly, I think you need to be honest about your son because he is your #1 priority and if a man runs away because you have a son, maybe you need to focus on your son and when it is the right time, you will meet the right person.
2007-12-29 18:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by di12381 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously if you have a kid then you are sexually active so that's good. Try to point that out. Putting out on the first night will keep them around for a while. Just keep putting out and being freaky till they are hooked and the kid won't matter.
2007-12-29 18:59:15 · answer #7 · answered by fss2325 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all over the place just let him know that you have a kid at the 1 date i have dated women with kids b4 yes kids she had 3 and i dont have any it was cool thetell me up frount that they have kids and i am cool with it but most of the time i dont go around the kid untill we have been seeing eachother for a good min and i am not around the kid a lot
2007-12-29 18:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the park, the zoo, a place with video games. look for guys that have kids but no women with them. i was a single father for about 3 years, and tried dating women with kids, and with out. i much preferred the women WITH kids, they better understood the fact that i had a kid, and that my baby came before going out drinking, or dancing, or parties, or movies....before going out to do all of the stuff that you sued to do before having kids. it made the relationship smoother.
2007-12-29 18:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by akiva7777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right here if you dont mind big guys 6 ft 6 in 240 lbs
2007-12-29 18:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by rob m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋