should i help my friend? how?

Question

im 15 and in recovery for anorexia and have been for about a month and a half, but i've been struggling with it for about 3 years. im doing well, but that doesn't really matter for my question.
a really close friend of mine has begun to develop an eating disorder and she confided in me, knowing i'd understand. it's only been about 6 months so it's still pretty mild, but not healthy by any means.
but i don't know if i can help her. i don't mean to sound selfish, but i have my own problems to deal with. im still early in recovery. i have a lot of weight to gain back. i can't get engrossed in her problem because since it's the same as mine i think i might get tempted to restrict myself from eating again, and i really can't do that. i'm trying to get healthy again myself. she thinks she can stop herself, she just wants a friend she said. i believe her, but i dont know if i should help her. i dont know if it will mess up my recovery.

how should i help her?
do i tell her parents?

Answer 1

I can relate - I'm in recovery as well, so don't feel alone.

You definately need to tell her parents. You know as well as I do that a problem like anorexia doesn't fix itself - it only gets worse. Also, her parents have more control of her life than a friend does.

I know how triggering other people can be. If she is triggering, you need to tell her. If she refuses to do better and therefore hinders or even reverses your progress, you need to avoid her. Right now, your mental and physical health are more important than maintaining a friendship with her. If you have any more questions, feel free to message me; I've been in recovery for 3 months and have learned a lot! Wish you the best of luck, hun.

Answer 2

If you're in recovery, you most likely have a counselor, so talk with him or her about this. Anorexia is a complicated disorder, and trained professionals in this field can give you the best advice. You sound like you're at a good stage in your recovery, and as you indicated, the last thing you need is to jeopardize your progress. So, assuming you have a counselor, talk to him/her right away. If not, talk to your parent(s) about the situation. Good luck and stay strong!

Answer 3

Well, I can surely understand being overwhelmed (or just plain focused) on getting a handle on your own eating disorder.

If you are happy with the treatment you are receiving (well, satisfied that it is medically sound or whatever - as who can be "happy" fighting any compulsion), why don't you give your friend the contact information of the place/doc that's treating you?

At the very least, the professional(s) she ends up talking to will be able to refer her to the specific kind of specialist she needs - and probably give her some advice on how to talk to her parents about this.

Very good luck to you both.

Answer 4

Right now, you need to concentrate on yourself...You are going to overcome this need to be perfect, ...I been there, and I did and so will you...Now I don' t care about weather they like me or not..I want to be thinner, for my health and that is the bottom line...I am sorry that your friend is hurting, but it might trigger you back into a place you don't want to be...look forward, eat healthy,..and you are young, so you will bounce back and repair any kind of temporary damage that Anorexia can sometimes cause...You are not selfish, just being cautious, and if your friend is truly your friend, she will understand that and not pressure you..and convincing her/him/ to tell their parents immediately, is of the most importance...My prayers are for you and your friend sweet pea

Answer 5

I think you should tell her parents, its for her own good. Tell them how worried you are and how difficult it has been for you. Also tell them that although you want to help, you don't feel 100% able to.

Honesty is the best policy as they say. You do need to tell them, how would you feel if something happened and you'd said nothing? Thats no good for you.

Good luck with your recovery :)

Answer 6

hugs sweetie!!
yes you need to tell her parents. im sorry dear but you need to finish healing yourself first before you cna attempt to help her
a mild case oif axorexia?? sweetie the first day of anorexia is a hugeeee CASE.
i was anorexic then bulimic.. what got me to quit was the last time i saw my dad in the hospital before he died. he said.."I LOVE YOU>>>PUKEBREATH"!!!! i cried and asked what he meant by that. he said look at you..your all skin and bones..your bones are showing..and he said"ILL BE SEEING YOU WHERE IM GOING AND SOON". he meant in death
not only does anorexia and bulimia kill you but it ruins your major organs for a shutdown..it ruins your vocal from all the acid you vomit up..it decays your teeth from acid as well.. and mainly it ruins your heart from purging so much and the stress of making one vomit. i got down to a size 12 in little girls and all i saw was 300 pounds and fat.
my dads words helped me get over it and i put weight back and then some..
its ok im healthy.. i still have the after effects with a deeper voice but im alive.
tell your friends parents
sweetie youve been there and done that yourself.. including lieing about what youve eaten etc.. and im sure your friend may not be telling you all the truth
im so proud of you for trying to get your health back and doing it.. i dont know you but i know your doing the right thing sweetie..GGOD BLESS and please tell your friends parents..

Answer 7

You could try to get through it together, she supports you gaining weight, and you support her. It could be helpful for both of you.
I wouldn't tell her parents unless you know she's close to them and would need their support, because if they don't have a good relationship, your friendship could be damaged and she could feel hurt and betrayed. Since you've been through it, tell her that she should tell her parents because you need a lot of support to get through it.
And good luck with your recovery.

Answer 8

i had that same proble. i use to have an eating disorder. i totally understand u in the " have my own problems to deal with". she should solve her own problems just as you should! dont tell her parents because it would totally freak some one out. parents notice everything and im pretty sure they have noticed that she doesnt eat as she should normaily do. just give her some advice about eating more just like they did to you about your problem. its never bad to help a friend. help her out and i hope i helped you :)

Answer 9

Your instincts are correct. You are in recovery and in need of your efforts devoted to taking care of yourself. Taking on your friend's problems, is overload. She will have a depressing effect on you, imo.

Listen to that inner voice of yours! It's right on target. Be good to yourself by telling her that you aren't the right person that can help her. You must speak up for yourself.

Have continued good health in your recovery and feel proud of yourself for your accomplishment.

Answer 10

It's not selfish to want to focus on your own recovery. It's healthy! You need to be recovered and well before you even think of helping anyone else.

Your friend's problem is serious and needs serious attention from her parents. Please get them involved.