Should i just sleep with him?

Question

Im seeing this guy who still has feelings for his ex.
I am the reason he broke up with her, but he still has that whole 'attachment' thing with her (they were together a year).
Basically, we keep coming close to having sex, then i back out saying i want to wait until everythings abit less complicated with her.
I know i want to its just Im still a virgin, and ive explained to him that it will mean alot to me and i dont want to just throw it away.
Hes been so nice about it all & says he respects me.
But whenever we get all like that hes literally begging ha.

I think im goingto just sleep with him, i dont want him to get bored and go back to her.
But then im scared that he will end up hurting me anyway by getting back with her or something / that he'll get bored too quick.
I feel like whatever i do has consequences!

Guys mainly.. what should i do?

-Just so you know, i'm 18, im not some stupid kid and i do have enough self respect not to jump into bed with someone i didn't really like!

oh and-
he isn't a get around.
hes only ever slept with her (his ex).
and he's not the sort to go bragging about it to his friends.

Answer 1

You dont sound stupid at all. The fact that your a virgin at 18 and have said no to him this whole time pretty much proves that. However i think your in a risky situation. If a dude still has feelings for his ex that usually means trouble. Dont give it up unless you think you know him well enough to decide that he wont leave you. but you sound smart and nobody can tell you what you should do . only give options. so i'm sure youll come to the right choice. just think about it and decide if its worth it or not.

Answer 2

Don't make your 'first time' this time. It won't guarantee that he will stay with you because he still has this "attachment" with her. Sex with you, sex with her. It makes no difference to him I think. You will end up hurt because you like him and are scared of losing him and not having a bf. But he is not thinking the same way with the same feelings. You cannot keep a guy just because you have sex with him, do you realize that? Not a good guy anyways. I agree with you. Wait until things are less complicated between him and this other girl. Protect your heart and let him do what he wants. If he choses you then YOU are what he wants.

Answer 3

I think you allready have it in your mind to sleep with him and your just looking for a good reason and that is fine hun as long as you recognize that inside yourself.

Hun you are 18 and a virgin, you might lose him just to your being niieve about things whether you sleep with him or you dont that isnt going to make much of a difference and I think as soon as you do he is going to hit the road anyway because even though alot of guys want to take a virgin they dont want to stick around for the HARD WORK it takes to keep and train a virgin to be a good girlfriend so you will be toast/history so to speak. Take Care sweety and do what you want but believe me this guy does not have your best intrests because he wouldnt even THINK OF talking to you about his feelings for his ex if there were not a potential of them perhaps getting back together, AND he is pre empting this move by telling you before you even sleep together that way he will not feel guilty.

Its your choice to give your virginity to whomever you want but think about having kids with this guy.

Men try to use Jealousy to get us to give it up in order for them to get what they want and he has pushed your buttons for sure hun, sex/children and all that stuff will NOT i repeat NOT hold a man. I find Duct tape does work well sometimes, hehe, but it wont fix your problem, he is a jerk, good luck.-Rachel.

Answer 4

Please understand....If you have sex with this guy, and there is no love involved...what have you become? Like is not the same as love, and it needs to be mutual. Respect is one thing...love is something else altogether.He will tell you he will respect you in the morning...then go and tell all his friends he took you.

If he still has feelings for his ex, let him get over her first. If he doesn't , move on. If you go for it, I can almost guarantee that you would be a "filler" for him, someone to hold onto, even though he has feelings for his ex. Plus, if he doesn't love you, he will be onto the next girl who comes along.

I was once 18. I remember well the sensations. It's not easy, and I sympathize, but please learn to think with your brain.....I didn't and it cost me 20 years of marriage to a physically and emotionally abusive man.

Answer 5

this will all depend on you and comfortable you feel. If your doubting it dont do it. You will know when the right time is right. If he wont wait until your ready he's not worth it but I would communicate with him. Sometimes a person will have an attachment or feelings for a former flame forever. I still care about my last love but have had meaningful relationships since. If he is true to you, then he is into you.

Answer 6

dont sleep with him yet. If he goes back to her just because he frustrated with waiting for you, then he was probably gonna go back to her anyway, dont put the blame on yourself. He's not over her yet. Dont put your heart in jeopardy. You are doing the right thing by holding off.

I was in a relationship like that except i was the ex. My bf at the time was not over me and got into anotha relationship and then we ended up back togetha. Of course we still didnt last but at the same time, dont give yourself to any man who isnt 100% into only you.

Answer 7

No, you said yourself that your virginity means alot to you. Dont throw it away. A guy that is right for you should not get bored. He should be kept captivated by your personality. Save the rest for after your married. GL.
Godbless~

Answer 8

Please don't, because if he has sex with you and gets back with her the next week you'll really be hurt. He needs to clear her out of his head. If your afraid he's bored with you sex won't change that. if he thinks about her now he'll still think about her, you'll just be on his mind sex wise. Don't settle, I did and we're not together now, but I'm 22 and married to a guy that appreciates everything about me including sex........
Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

You have to did it when you are ready!! That's the most important thing. Don't do it for someone else. I think that you know that you guys will brake up sooner or later. Have sex will a guy you dont feel pressured with and make sure you dont have any doughts.

Answer 10

If he is still attached to his ex then he may not be into you 100%. For your first time you should have a guy that is all yours and won't leave another woman to have you and return to what he had. talk to him and make sure that he is not thinking of returning to her. You only to get your first time once make sure it won't end up a mistake.
ps always have them wear a condom, but that's another story