i tend to find myself in relationships of which i give to much to fast and to long. .?

Question

having this pointed out to me to often i tried a different pattern. i did nt buy the gifts and spend the money like i did in the past. i was more conservative. for her b-day i took hera box of creme puffs... i havent heard the end of it yet and we arnt together anymore. shes mad because she got creme puffs and my ex got a ring on her b-day. was i so wrong ?

Answer 1

You were wrong for telling her what you got your ex on her bday. That's where you messed up.

Answer 2

How did she know your ex got a ring on her birthday?

How long were you seeing the ex? How long this one?

I'd suggest a box of creme puffs would be a lousy gift anyway. It isn't "permanent". Flowers aren't either but would have been received much better. If you wanted to feed her taking her out for a nice dinner would have been the thing.

The point people were making to you in the past was that you came on too strong too fast. However, that doesn't mean you should make NO effort on special occasions such as a birthday or Christmas.

Answer 3

I know that you don't want to give to much for fear of being taken advantage of, but I don't think creme puff are a good birthday present for anyone. Maybe you shouldn't have told her how you spoiled your exes.
Think about this...
When me and my boyfriend 1st started dating he would tell me about his ex and how he used to help out with her bills and what not...1 1/2 years into our relationship, well past anything they every had, and he had just started doing that for me. It had kind of pissed me off, but after I told him how I felt things got better and we made comprimise. He basically thought that I didn't need the help..which I kinda did. We've been together for 4 yrs and things are lovely.

What I'm saying is you need to talk to her express exactly why you felt she deserved creme puffs and not a ring.

Good Luck