Have a boyfriend but completely in love with someone ELSE!?

Question

So I have a boyfriend. He's cute, but I've only been with him a month (some heck of a month it's been, too). I don't really feel like myself around him, and he kinda gets angry easily. The thing is: through all of my relationships their's been this 1 guy who's always been there 4 me, and he's been in love w/ me for 5 years. He's had a lot more relationships than me and has never cheated, and I've never had a real relationship before this, but on Christmas, me and the guy who's loved me got together n only kissed, and I swear: sparks FLEW. I'm completely in love, and he told me he loves me that night, and I told him I love him too. He said I was the only thing he was sure about, and also that this was his first time cheating. The scary part was that for both of us, it felt right, and not like cheating.
SO: He has a girlfriend now, and I have a boyfriend. Do I ask him to break up with his girlfriend or what? (Me = not patient) My cousin says to tell him if he wants me, he has to break up

Answer 1

Your current boyfriend is just that. He's not your husband, and as such he's in a position that you can break up with him, no problem. He sounds like he's not a great catch in the first place, and if he gets angry easily, dump him immediately. It will only get worse.

As for your Christmas kiss, sounds like you found a lovely man! If you are the cheating type, you have to make a committment to yourself to never do it again, and to be honest with this guy. There is nothing like young love, if it is carefully nurtured. You must be very good to this young man, and he sounds like he'll be wonderful to you.

Do NOT go out with him without his breaking up with his girlfriend. No matter that he loves you, you must always show how you want to be treated. If you go out with him without insisting he break up with his girlfriend first, you will be relegating yourself to a position of "lower woman," and "not to be respected." Make sure he knows you respect yourself, and him, enough not to be in that 3-rd person position.

Best wishes, and do enjoy your special guy!

Answer 2

A few things first:

1. You've both got boyfriends/girlfriends so neither of you is available.

2. Guys don't like ultimatums so I'd advise against that plan. Plus it makes you look bad.

If he's been in love with you for five years, why aren't you together? How do you know he's been in love with you for that long? Don't you think if he was really in LOVE with you, he'd not have been in other relationships and would have been with you?

I'd suggest maybe concentrating on your current relationship. Doesn't sound like there's much there, especially if the guy gets angry easily. Being in any relationship is not better than being in no relationship. Move on and then see what happens.

If you and this guy are meant to be, then it'll happen on its own. Making ultimatums is not going to make it happen any faster. How many couples do you know of that actually got started because of an ultimatum? I'm betting zero. Good luck!

Answer 3

First it you in no way should tellh im to break it off with someone that might imply your bossy and no one like to be bossed around. Second if he likes you as much as he says he does then he would break it off with his current gf instead of having to be told to. Never interfer with someone elses relationship because no good things will come of it, And lastly have you broke up with your current bf if not why no, both of you are cheaters plain and simple and there is a saying that most intellegent people say. ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER, you will learn that when you get older and more mature.

Answer 4

Just by reading your headlined question i knew what to say. Break it to your boyfriend gently, he should at least know. Before you do anything drastic make sure the other guy is interested in you to. Maybe he's a happy as can be with his present gf.
Don't make him break up with her for you . How would you like it if someone did that to you. Talk to him first. Facts first, then heartbreak.

Answer 5

You have to break up with your boyfriend. You are only using him to avoid being single. That's not nice. The plus side to being single, is that other guys will view you as eligible. This guy you like may well break up with his girlfriend if he sees you are single. Actively breaking them up would be crappy, but if you are single and he chooses to leave his girlfriend for you, that's perfectly acceptable. Well, she won't be happy about it, but eventually she'll realise that a boyfriend who wants to be with someone else isn't much use.

Answer 6

Well I agree with your cousin. He should leave his GF if he has feelings for another girl. But you should do the same. Many people would rather be broken up with, than be cheated on.

Answer 7

wow! well its not fair on you or your boyfriend if your going out with someone your not in love with! id say you should end it, and this other guy that told you that he loves you, well if e realy does, once you dump your lad - if he keeps his girlfriend you know he cant realy be in love with you - better to know now than you find him in bed with another woman 5 years down the road, but if this guy realy does love you and you love him then it will work out, dont you worry

Answer 8

Wait a minute, you said he was in love with you for 5 years, and you never give him a chance? Why is that?

Answer 9

if u cant help the way u feel. just tell hi mthe truth. its not your choice who u love.. u guys sound perfect for eachother.. its like a cindarella story.. just follow ur heart...

Answer 10

If your so in love with him, tell him. It seems pretty logical.