I have a boyfriend of five years, well fiance now and I'm thinking that it might be time to call it quits. I love him, but no one, none of my friends, his friends, or family thinks we should be together. I have been going to school and working just to get us by, I just graduated college and am now ready for the big kid world. My boyfriend on the other hand does not have any job and goes to college on the days he feels like it. people tell me all the time that i deserve more and they don't know why i stick around, but i do because i love him. he's never hit me, but has made me cry many times. He is very good with words and it seems everything wrong in our life is my fault. I love him and have been with him for a very long time, but if I do deciede to end it how can I? I've tried to before in the past but he weasles his way back in. If it's over how do I know and how do I end it?
2007-12-29 08:57:26 · 14 answers · asked by Question 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well now that you have finished college, get a job in another city...far away pack up and move there oh yeah forget to tell him
2007-12-29 12:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes you feel like everything is your fault, that should do it. You shouldn't feel that way when you are with someone you love. A man should be a man and take responsibilities for his actions and not just blame others. You should probably listen to your friends and family. They know what is best even if you don't think so at the time. It is also unmanly being a moocher and making you pay for everthying. Tell him that you are ready for a real, grown-up relationship and that he is not what you need right now. Call off the engagement and leave him. He really doesn't deserve you from your description.
2007-12-29 17:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by Locogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
College is a time when people really can change. I was in a LTR with a guy I started datingmy junior year of high school and we continued dating for 5 years. We were a great match in the first couple of years, but we both began to change and grow up. We ultimately broke up because we were both very different people than we were when the relationship started and wanted to head in different directions in our lives.
Don't worry about what friends or family say...only you know what is best for you. Yes, 5 years is a very long time, but once the "I do" happens, it's supposed to be forever (and you think 5 years is a long time? try marrying someone you don't really like and the first year will feel like 5!)
Sit down and have a talk with him about your future goals and ask what his are. He will try to sweettalk, but I think you already know what you wants and have seen his ways, so should know better than to believe it. Who knows, maybe some time apart will help him see some perspective and grow up a little - THEN you could work on a relationship!
Good Luck...
2007-12-29 17:06:17 · answer #3 · answered by takemymulligan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry about your relationship. From my prospective of a good relationship, I always think that your partner should bring out the best in you. From what you've been saying, I think it's about time you move on. It's sad when this happens, but it's better to make your move for a better life now. It's gets harder later.
I've been through the same emotional turmoil as you're having now a few years ago. Sometimes, you just have to make decisions that's hard. I did it and have ever regretted it. I've got a good life with great guy now.
Strange as it may be, sometimes, family and friends can see your life better than you. They have no emotional attachment to your partner, unlike you.
Good luck!
2007-12-29 17:10:53 · answer #4 · answered by Borneo Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I know what you are going though! I was with the same guy for 3 years and we wound up getting married againest everyone else! That has been 3 years ago and let me tell you it was one of the worst things i could have done! we had a child together and I love my boy to death but his father is another story! He never got out of that lazy stage and didn't think resposablity was for him! Sometimes you should listen to your head and not your heart b/c emotions will win everytime!! You know what he can tell you and you said he is good with words so when you get ready to tell him make sure that you get everything out that you need and stand your ground! GOOD LUCK !!!
2007-12-29 17:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by wats2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way. If one of your very best girlfriends had this exact same problem, what would you tell her? The b/f sounds like a lazy oaf, and a whole lot controling. (the good with words and everything is your fault are warning signs of that). Just tell him it is over, and walk away. Ignore his calls, and be strong so he can't weasel his way back in this time.
2007-12-29 17:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is very good with words then he might be abusing you verbally and you need to get away. I know it sucks to leave someone you love but do you want to wonder your whole life what could have happened if you left him? He doesn't sound like he wants the responsibility of life with you, where as you sound ready.
2007-12-29 17:02:03 · answer #7 · answered by sparrowszealot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you read your own post here, as a total stranger, you'd have to say to that person: Leave. Its time for him to live on his own, and for you to look for a better mate. The fact that someone has never hit you is not good enough reason to stay with him.
Good luck
2007-12-29 17:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and move on. You're going in different directions plus who can want a life with someone who can't take responsibility for their own actions.
2007-12-29 17:03:03 · answer #9 · answered by msdeanie57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make a decision and you follow it. It's your fault for sticking it out so long and being a wimp about it.
2007-12-29 17:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋