girl asked me out and changed her mind after the fact?

Question

This girl at work asked me out and then 3 days later after not seeing her (i was off) she came up to me today and told me that "i think we should be friends right now, and maybe go hang out in a group sometime outside of work... i really like you but not like 'that' right now, i hope you understand." I think she did this because she did just end a very long term relationship with a guy about 5 months or so ago. Maybe she is not ready to move on. However early in the day and week she was telling all my coworkers how much she liked me and how we act when alone: (it got back to me by word of mouth). Is she just attention seeking? does she like to see a guy chase her and let others watch it develop into nothing? What was the point of her doing this to me? Do you think there is a chance that maybe later down the line she will change her mind after we get to know each other better? Im just very frustrated with the whole sitiuation right now, becuase she got my hopes up for a little bit there

Thanks for all the answers. Im pretty sure i wont have a problem moving on myself, im worried that she will hold this between the two of us for months to come. However, im going to remain her friend and a friend only allowing her to see me with other girls and in turn i wont go out with her unless on a purely friendly basis

Answer 1

I could see this coming a mile away . If my memory serves me right, this is your third piece on this potential romance that just imploded.While I can not claim to have anticipated her not going out with you for the reasons you just indicated, I sensed that you guys might not go out primarily because I felt you were foot dragging.I am truly sorry that things did not work out between the both of you as I felt you guys were going to make a fairy tale couple. I still do and feel that she is not being completely honest with you.Although there is that four year age difference between you guys, I suspect she might think( and please forgive my next statement) that you have acted in an immature manner. I believe I once asked you to hurry and not dilly dally and my sense is that she may have picked up on that.You wanted her and yet you kept waiting for something that I could not understand to happen first instead of asking her out pronto. The whole issue sort of became a type of office game---will they or won't they---kind of situation. My suggestion is a simple one: if you still have feelings for her and would like to date her, then1) remove the issue from the office gossip mill2)ask to talk to her and do it privately, just the two of you.3) let her know how you feel--again --honestly and openly; ask her how she feels about you.4) you guys start going out, slowly at first, to become used to each other and know each other.5)act in a decisive manner at all times, do not act like you need somebody to hold your hands----show courage, determination, etc and let her understand that she is going out with a man and not a boy.While you might be frustrated, disappointed, angry, and even hurt, I want you to know that all is not lost.Follow your heart and the ideas above and soon things will change for the better.I still believe you guys are fated to be together. Keep me posted.

Answer 2

She just got out of a long term relationship and is doubting her own self worth and sexuality. She wants to feel like she is wanted. Asking you out was a way for her to get some attention, it didnt necessarily have anything to do with you. It sounds like she is using you to boost her self worth. You have two responces, be her freind and never let her have anything more. Let her see you haveing fun with other girls and dating so she knows what she missed. Or you can hold on and hope and be nice to her and wait forever for her to come around and ultimately feel completely used when she starts dating someone else.

Answer 3

I think she find the situation too quick for her. She wanted to know you more. Well, I think, she wanted to let the coworkers know that "there's nothing intimate happen between us really". I think she's trying to save her face from further gossip at work. Most women based their decision on their feelings unlike men who most of the time decides based on logic and reasoning. I think be friends now. Be open to others too and don't set your hopes to high. Take it easy. Good Luck!

Answer 4

i think at the time to her it felt the right thing but then looking back she still has feelings for her ex and she not ready to handle a new relationship. deep down inside she likes you and doesnt want your friendship to get ruin if your relationship does not work out.