What would you do?

Question

ive been with my bf for over 2 months, im a virgin he's not, hes slept with 4 other girls before me (all gf's, sometimes without protection), im ready to have sex so is he and no he hasnt pressurized me or anything.. ive given him oral and ive had no symptoms of STDs, and hes had no symptoms of havin std's either (i know some std's show no symptoms) im jst slightly worried about how many girls he's slept with, and we will be using both contraceptives, condoms and the pill.. but eventually we will want to do it with out the condom.. what would you do?

were both 20

Answer 1

i had slept with quite a few girls but aways went for std checks as i never used protection with some of them not because i didnt want to but just for the fact its hard to get xxl protection in the uk. and my now wife had slept with all her ex,s without protection and always went hor reg checkups. so if your worried ask him to go for a checkup if he is pissed off for you asking that then he must not care much for your feelings.

Answer 2

Hes slept with four girls, - plus all the other men theyve slept with, plus the women theyve slept with when it comes to figuring out how much of a risk he is for an std. Some stds can remain dormant for 20 years. So Id loose the condom if youre still with him in 20 years. But if you cant wait that long, just wait until youre married and you want to get pregnant. I honestly really would never sleep with anyone without a condom. But then Im married and dont have the pressures youre going through as a younger person.

Answer 3

You've only been together for 2 months,don't go rushing into this with him,just cos he's done it a few times doesn't mean you should let him have you too,I know you say he hasn't pressured you,but I can imagine you're thinking more of his needs than your own here.

My advice would be to carry on going out with him,and in time you'll know for sure if he's the right one you should be giving yourself to as a virgin. If he doesn't hang around long after you've said no a few times,you'll know his main interest in you was for sex,more so as a virgin,so that's a good test if you can be grown up enough to do.

If you won't wait and you're that worried, both of you go to a GUM clinic and be tested for possible sti's,it is all very confidential when you do go,and it's the only sure way of knowing,if he has a problem with this,then tell him to take a hike cos he was only ever interested in sex.

As you know already,most sti's never show any symptoms but they can cause irreversable damage if not detected,especially to the reproductive parts of your body.

ALWAYS use condoms,no-matter what he says.

Answer 4

You sound as if you are a sensable girl. Whatever you do use the two forms of contraception you mention. Unless you want to be pregnant then use a condom every time, I know you have said you want to eventually do without this. But it is the best way of staying clean of STD's.

Answer 5

You are doing everything right but you sound scared. Both of you go in for STD tests so it is not a matter of "you should do this" but both of you. Some STD's can lay dormant for 10 years. Best wait until you are less scared.

Answer 6

never do it without a condom unless you are willing to take the massive risk of a child, going double dutch is best (pill and condom) if you are ready, some STDs dont have visable symptoms you cannot tell you have them, so maybe get tests done on him etc.

Answer 7

first of all well done for being so on to it ,and careful, what you need to do, obviously you don't need any blood tests etc as your a virgin, but encourage your bf to get to GP and get some tests done for STDs which will mean a blood test and a urine sample, and then when gets the results from the tests back , and all clear then basically you can have unprotected sex as long as you are on the pill and don't miss any tablets,

hope this helps

Answer 8

well if your that worried i would ask him to go get tested...if he wants to stay with you he WILL do it. and its good your using so much protection..but the pill you know doesnt help against stds. just pregnancy. and i think it would be really risky to have sex with no protection in the future...unless your ready to be a mommy. just ask him to go with you. you two can both get tested so it wont be like putting him on the spot. or if your too embarassed to do that, just make sure he uses the condoms correctly and be very very carefulll! good luck! hope i helpedd =]

Answer 9

It at times hard desicion to make. I would see if he would get tested for anything like std's so on even for herpes. Then you both would know for sure that he has nothing. He might do it. My boyfriend had sex with many girls. I know about his past. But we haven't. I am same with the guys. But when I am ready to have sex. Him and me going to get tested..

Answer 10

Wait until you are married so that you don't regret it like the last 4 of his girlfriends. If you are that paranoid, have him to go the doctor to get tested for STDs so that you can be safe.