Boyfriend+Distance+Mother?

Question

I found a boyfriend. There are certain details why i can say our love is honest. The problem is that we met on internet and never really seen each other. (I saw a photo and stuff, of course...) It has been a month now. He lives abroad, but the country is our neighbor (Slovakia - Czech republic). I don´t need to be told about the risk. What I want to ask is this: He wants to come to visit me, but my mom doesn´t agree. How should I persuade her? She says that relations like these don´t last long. But I don´t want to give up so easily! I can´t? Please, I need some advice. Any advice! How to persuade her... Just to allow him to come...

I´m 17 and he is 19.

Hum... I want to tell some more. The reason why i trust him is because that´s what he wants. To meet my mom and speak to her. Tell her about us and discuss.

Answer 1

Honestly, if you were my daughter, I would discuss it thoroughly with you. He is of age, and you are not. If something physical happens, he would go to jail. I am not saying I wouldn't trust you, I would be saying that things happen all the time. I was molested as a little girl and then raped later in life. I know more of what guys are thinking. I am more cautious. The guy who raped me was not what he told me. I knew of him, but I did not really know him.

Just meeting him probably would be no harm, if your parents went with you in a public place. Make a list of pros and cons of meeting him and tell her you want him to meet her too. I would never give him your address of where you live or your phone number as he could find your address through the phone number. Be safe and cautious at all times.

Answer 2

I think you should follow ur mums advice. it will never work and also this person might not be who u think he/she is. dont trust anyone online.

Answer 3

your mom is right.
i was in an online relationship for MONTHS when i was 16.
he was 23 and lived in Spain.

my mom told me he was suspicious and had red flags.

after not chatting with him or emailing him or talking to him or anything for 4 or 5 months i got an email from obviously "him" stating he wanted me to join some site.
saw his page.
he "was 20 years old, living in Columbia or someplace, and had a different date of birth"
hmmm...didn't i just tell you he was 23 and lived in Spain?
well, that's what I thought.
mothers know best.


ps: it has only been one month. i would wait at least three more months and see if he starts slipping up.
my ex online boyfriend started slipping up on the third month.



ps: my ex online boyfriend also "wanted to meet my mom"
still didn't change the fact that he was actually a liar.

i won't lie...here are some things he said that made me love him...i am doing this so that you can hopefully understand that some of these guys will say whatever and make you feel loved...that is part of the game...these are real messages from that guy...:
yo nunca te quiero obligar a nada
( i never want to obligate you to do anything)
hay chicas que no gustan de posiciones (there are girls who don't like positions)
ni tipos de sexo(nor types of sex)
ni nada(nor anything)
por eso(because of that)
si alguna vez no te gusta(if at some time you don't like something)
dimelo(tell me)
nunca te quedes callada o hagas algo que no te gusta por alegrarme ok?(never just be quiet or do something that you don't like just to make me happy, okay?)

siiiiiiiiiiiii(yeahhhhhhh)
cuando vivamos juntos(when we live together)
cuando pase un año(once a year goes by)
ya veremos que me dices(then we'll see what you say)

tienes que venir a españa(you have to come to spain)

ok(okay)
bve a dormir(i'm going to bed now)
un beso(a kiss)
en tu barriguita(on your bellybutton)
duerjme bien(sleep tight)
y estudia(and study)

ayer haciendo mi trabajo(yesterday when i was working)
estaba contando las horas(i was counting the hours)
para poder terminar una parte(until i could finish a part)
y poderte escribir(and write to you)
y antes de ir a dormir(and before i went to bed)
te escribi un e-mail(i wrote you an email)

tkm tambien (i love you a lot too)
de verdad que te quiero mucho (honestly, i love you a lot)


these are things to watch out for(i am sorry i can't find everything because i have sooo many messages from him etc.) but here are somethings to watch for:

yo me despertado a las 3:00 am( i woke up at 3:00 am)
para hablar con una chica(to speak with a girl(me))
porque ella no se va despertar a esa hora(because she is not going to wake up at that hour)
para hablar conmigo(to speak to me)

1) lo de ayer no fue por el aspersor ... fue porke haces otras cosas (y no digo aspersor) y no tomas en cuenta que hablamos poco (basically he didn't believe i was watering the garden)

no te dire nada mas(i'm not telling you anything else)
solo me ire(i'm just leaving)
me: no puedo ablar con mis amigos tmb?(i can't speak with my friends also)
vale(alright)
habla con ellos(speak with them)
pero tu insistes(but you insist)
quiero hablar con mis amigos("i want to speak with my friends)
bueno(great)
pues habla con tus amigos(well, speak them then)
vale?(do you understand me?)
pero lo que esta claro(but what is clear)
es que si tu kieres hablar conmigo(is that if you want to speak with me)
ahora tendras que conectarte(now you have to connect)
cuando yo pueda(when i am on)

tu desconfias de mi ...(you don't trust me...)
tu no me extrañaras(you won't miss me)
no te hablare en 1 semana para que tu pienses ...(i'm not going to speak with you for a week to see what you think...)
en una semana volvere y preguntare que piensas(in a week i'll come back and ask you what you think)
si tu desconfias de mi(if you don't trust me)
y sigues asi(and continue like this)
mejor ya no hablamos(it's better that we don't speak)


anyways, he did a lot of odd stuff...
he claimed to not be able to afford a webcam or have a camara and all this other odd stuff.
sometimes his date of birth would be a bit off and his family seemed strange...
a lot of odd stuff..
anyways, just watch out.
i hope your guy is actually sincere.