i dont know how to move on..?

Question

how can i get over the loss of my first love? everyone keeps telling me time will heal all, but is there something more tangible than that? my heart is so broken, i can't move on from this!

Answer 1

It's a familiar story -- the two of you meet, become inseparable and fall in love...but then the tables turn and one of you wants out. At that moment, things get complicated and questions begin to arise: How do I tell this person? What will happen after the breakup? We've compiled some tried-and-true ways to weather the emotional storm:

Tip 1: Behave badly. Don't try to be brave. Don't pretend it's OK. Scream, shout, eat badly. For once, you've got permission. Therapists say the sooner you hit bottom, the sooner you'll feel better.
Survey* says:
It's OK to be upset at work." Almost half of respondents confided in a co-worker after a breakup, and more than one-third have cried at work because of a breakup.

Tip 2: This person is now out of your life. Period. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, call your ex. It's like Chutes and Ladders. One call and you're back at the bottom again. We're all weak-willed, particularly when it comes to people who've broken our hearts. You need to get serious about this. You need a contract. Try this:
The "No-Contact" Contract
I hereby pledge that I will not prolong my anguish by attempting to contact my ex or orchestrate any elaborate "accidental" meeting with him or her. My healing has now begun, and I will avoid reopening those wounds like I would avoid a bear trap in the woods. By "contacting my ex," I mean every single form of communication, from IM, to chat boards, to friends passing messages, to sending smoke signals from yonder mountain. I will not call or write, I will not try to reach him/her through the spirit world and I will not think about my ex. OK, I probably will think about my ex... quite a bit, in fact. But I promise that this phenomenon will diminish over time.
Signed: (Your Name Here)
Dated: (Today's Date Here)


Tip 3: Life is short. Make it good for you. Is there something you've always wanted to try but haven't? Then make the time to do it now. Better yet, pick something your ex NEVER wanted to try (or never would let you try). It'll take your mind off things, reintroduce fun into your life and help you break unproductive thought patterns. Run away on a vacation. Join a gym.

Despite all that comfort eating, many people lose weight while grieving.
Despite all that comfort eating, many people lose weight while grieving. Rejoice! Try a little retail therapy.
Survey* says:
"Immerse yourself in your work" and "go on vacation" were the top selections for what respondents would do just after a breakup (59 percent and 45 percent, respectively).
Chocolate and ice cream received more than 50 percent of the votes as the kind of comfort foods that would be sought out by respondents as the result of a breakup.


Tip 4: Get back in the saddle. Avoid super-quick rebounds, but don't make excuses for not getting out there and meeting new people. Not every coffee date needs to be "the one." Browsing online through Yahoo! Personals will cheer you up by showing you how many new options there are

Answer 2

Well, first off, you need to stop saying that you can't move on. You can. Millions of people have had broken hearts before you, and we have all lived. It does hurt like hell, but time DOES heal it.

What you need to do in the meantime though, is keep yourself busy. Take up some extra activities, keep your mind off of it. Don't let yourself sit around and be depressed. Do things with friends and family.

There really isn't anything else you can do, honey. I wish there was something that could be done... because we've all been through this. But it really is just a matter of time and letting yourself heal.

Good luck, and it always helps to remember that it's not like you're going to be alone forever... you're young and have your whole life ahead of you!

Answer 3

Your first true love will always stay with you for years to come. You even might compare him to future flames. It actually does take time, its sorta like grieving after loosing someone. Your mind needs time to accept the loss. Gradually you need to start going out with girlfriends, friends and start participating in things that you enjoy that don't involve him or activities that don't remind you of him. I know this is tough but you must push yourself. You might not have such a good time at first but you will see over time that you will catch yourself smiling and enjoying a bit more each time. When you feel your ready start trying to meet people, have friends introduce you to new guys. This will build confidence and self esteem back up. Whatever you do don't rebound, take your time and be picky. Find someone that makes you happy. I hope this helps. My 5 1/2 year relationship ended a year ago. I felt as if I would never be happy again. I was wrong. Good Luck and Believe in yourself.

Answer 4

It's true time heals. I remember when I broke up with my ex b/f. It was hard, but I had to do it, because I knew our relationship wasn't going anywhere. I understand how you feel, so give it a couple of days, maybe months. Think positive, go out with your friends, do things you haven't done before that will lift up your spirit or self steem. Just forget about the bad things that happened, and move on.

Praying also helps. Ask God, if you are Christian, to help you heal your loss and help and guide you to move on and at the end, meet someone who is really into you. And it'll come. You have to be patient.

Answer 5

Hey! Everyone heals differently, but one thing we all know is that you WILL heal! I can suggest some things, but there's no guaruntee that it will help, except time.

1.) Hang out with your friends, do something that doesn't involve that much talking on your part if you don't feel like it. This means stuff like movies, dinners with lots of people (more people = less talking time for each person), out to an amusement part, running, going to a game together...whatever gets you away from your house.
2.) Sit somewhere peaceful outside or inside. I prefer outside, but whatever you like. It's such a pretty time right now. Maybe a park, your backyard, beach (if you're lucky enough to live by one..I'm not), woods...
3.) EXERCISE! Running always helps me keep my mind off. Or, if you don't like running, everyone can walk, right? Take a nice peaceful walk, without cell phone, computer...all of that.
4.) Talk on the phone! Get back in touch with someone you haven't talked to in awhile, and would love to catch up with. Right now is the perfect time to do something like that! Plus, you'll feel good after it. I bet you'd make someone's day.
5.) Shop! You don't even have to buy anything. Just walking around a mall with nice smells like cookies and perfume is bound to cheer anyone up! Looking at the clothes...whatever you like.
6.) Watch an old movie...Disney movies? haha, those always make me smile. Just cuddle up with blankets and your favorite dolls on the couch and feel your brain and eyes melt from the hours of TV. I really do enjoy Disney movies.
7.) Do something nice for someone else...it makes you feel better to give charity right?

I hope you can find something on this list to do, even if you don't think it'll work. Try, right? It can't hurt....Good luck!

Answer 6

Don't worry.....it will heal...trust me!
I just, today, got over my first love.....&&for a month straigh I couldn't stop crying, I got some depressed I did some stupid thing but hey I kept looking on towards the bright side of life &&held my head up as high as I could [[the truth is you'll never completely move on....becuz that love will mean the most to you becuz it was your first love]]
Just don't give up yet! If everything is ok, then its over....but if its not ok then its not over.....
I'm sorry if this offends you or anybody else [[idk who is Christian&&who isn't]] but God is always there for you, no matter what...he makes things work in everybody's favor....he doesn't pick favorites! Just call out to him&&pray to him every day and night and things will get better
I PROMISE you that
&&sorry again if you don't believe in God
I wasn't trying to be rude...

Answer 7

First, just let yourself cry & let it all out. There's no use when you hold it all in, pretending you're okay. Then comes Monday & you meet his eyes, then break into tears. Not good!!
Second, think of all the things you didn't like about him, like for instance, maybe he was too short or the he his hair was always so messy -- dunno, this is your choice!
Third, try going for a brisk walk or working out a bit. It'll defiantly get him off your mind. Remember the goal, we girls must be stick thin!! JK! : )
Fourth, invite 1 of your friends over & let her totally babe you out! You know what I mean: mani's, pedi's & curling & crimping the hair. Mud masks, the whole enchilada. What ever makes you feel pretty! Then, go out with the girls & have tons of fun!!
Fifth, now here you are at the roller-skating rink, surrounded by cute boys, yet you don't feel like talking to them. I know how you feel, radio-active around boys. It seems as if everyone happens to know happened & they just WANT to make it harder on you. No, this is not true! Go out, let yourself be free! Try to make a goal of conversing with at least 3 guys. It's okay, they won't bite!
Well now, hopefully I've helped you out. Just try to focus all your energy on right now & the future! There are plenty of other things to fill up those empty spaces, including that cutie across the street!! And, hey! Look at it this way, you're single!! Now, you flirt all you want.
If you still can't get your mind off of him, just prioritize. Plan what you're going to do for the day when you wake up. Plan things you want to achieve. Just plan of everything you've ever wanted to do in life. TIME WILL HEAL ALL!

Answer 8

This happened to me too. My first love who also happens to be the first guy that kissed me dumped me online. He didnt even have the decency to tell me face to face. I felt soo bad aterwards...i lost all my confidence and selfesteem. It took me 6 months to get over him.
Trust me u might take longer or shorter time but eventually u will get over him. Let time take its toll and u will definitely feel better.
I just have one piece of advise for u: plz do not start seeing other ppl now. I did this and ended up hurting sum1 that truly loved and respected me. Time will heal all ur wounds. U will definitely move on from this.
Its been 3 yrs for me now...and I do still think abt him but I am definitely proud of myself for having moved on.
Good luck and xoxox.

Answer 9

whatever u do, do not jump into another relationship right away. That is not moving on. Unfortunattally this is the time you got to commit to yourself. Just you and yourself. Read some self help books, if your into God, read some christian self help books. They will help you mentally so that your next relationship is alot healthier and worth it. If you jump into a new relationship right away, it will turn out to be worse than this one. For real. Take time to get to know your needs and wants again. It will be worth it. Trust me.

Answer 10

Yes, it takes a long time, sometimes it feels like forever. I didn't think I could ever get over the lost of that special someone in my life but I eventually did, when you meet that next someone special.