my boyfriend just proposed a couple days ago. I am really happy but for some reason its been buggin me. His proposal wasn't really planned out of too thoughtfull. he came up behind me, put the ring in my face in just said will u marry me? I know it really shouldnt' matter and I should be happy, but it didnt' seem like too much thought was put into it. I was expecting something a little more romantic. he didtn' even get on one knee like the traditional way. I jsut need to know how to get over that and just be happy w/ our engagement. I just feel kinda hurt and I dotn' know why.
2007-12-29 06:29:22 · 15 answers · asked by princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I can understand why you would feel like he could have done something more thoughtful, but maybe he was just too excited to wait for the perfect moment. Or too nervous. There's no way to really know why he chose to do it that way, but don't let it overshadow the joy of being engaged to the man you love. He DID put thought into choosing the ring for you & deciding that he wanted to ask you - that's huge in & of itself. You would probably be surprised (& feel alot better) if you only knew how many people have experienced unromantic proposals! My fiance tried very hard & did put thought into his, but ultimately he got down on one knee in a parking lot! I don't care, but I'm sure other people would consider that 'unromantic'. Be happy - you're engaged!
2007-12-29 06:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay screw what everyone else is saying. I just go engaged on Nov. 8 of this year. My proposal was NOT planned... and my feelings were hurt for about a week. He sent me a message on e-mail saying :look behind the sign on your shelf" I stood up and looked (by this point I already knew) there was a box behind it, i grabbed it and tunred around and he was on one knee ... I dont know...I know that I should be gratfull but i felt like I almost wasnt good enough to have a very thoughtful proposal. Obviously I am good enough but I COMPLETLEY understand. Im over it now,.. but i did talk to him. it did hurt his feelings as well... but he was glad i told him and didnt hold it in. And let me tell you .. it wasnt the greatest to tell everyone how the proposal went, because it wasnt AT all romantic and thats what people expect, so it was kinda embarassing. Hope ive made you feel better. I would just talk to him. Hope it turns out well.
2007-12-30 01:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiancee did almost the exact same thing. This was an important thing and you think he didn't put a lot of thought or effort into it. You need to talk to him about it. Tell him you love him and are excited to be engaged but that it hurts. You may find out that he was just really really nervous and had a whole big thing planned out (complete with romantic words and one knee) but he choked and essentially threw the ring box at you. The key to a good marriage is communication and you should start using that skill now.
Congratulations by the way!
2007-12-29 15:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by avirtualwonder 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two things......
First off, if his approach is this clumsy on a proposal, likely his approach with everything else will be just as clumsy. Are you willing to deal with that? All the time? Now's the time to get honest about what bugs you and what your expectations are.
Secondly, you need to have a discussion about how you were hurt by that. Whether you are justified or not is irrelevant, almost. Fact is, you were hurt by that and you two need to talk about it. Maybe he can make it up to you some other way.
You two might also have some other bigger issues too. He sounds immature, but maybe he just made a bad choice. It's early in the engagement.......consider if breaking it off is a choice you're willing to explore. Breaking it off.....gives him another chance to get it right later.
No one said that you're obligated to accept a marriage proposal or that once you're engaged you're obligated to follow through. If you two have issues to work out, don't be afraid to slam on the brakes, put it in reverse, and back up. If it's right you can always start over.
2007-12-29 14:37:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think u should not go like those boy come on knee and say u lovely and pre written dialogue from bullshit movie...what u think about him....is that u love him this is enough believe me if he is not showing you that kind a love that means he really love u not like want to use you....this is what I did with my girl and at that time she was happy but i can see in her eyes there was alot of question I asked her at that time but she jsut neglact at that time after 1 year she talk to me about that but now she also realize that was good not like movie to dump her....now its 3 years we are still together and enjoy our life and so as you....and don't be hurt just love him like u do before..when time comes u realize by yur self beleive me....bye see yah
2007-12-29 14:39:05 · answer #5 · answered by ganatra00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the poor guy a break! it sounds as though he was terrified. bless him, it must be very nerve-wracking plucking up the courage to ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you!
my hubby to be didnt do the romance thing either but i dont care... it was the right man who asked me and that is all that matters. i dont think i can offer you any advice as i didnt feel quite the same as you do. but i did just want to open you up to the idea that he might have just been terrified.
congratulations to you both and i hope you have a happy engagement and an even happier marriage! xx
2007-12-29 14:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by *Mrs R* 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't base your opinions on things like proposals and weddings on a fairytale or movie. He proposed because he loves you. That's sometimes hard for a guy. Why don't you plan an engagement celebration for the two of you that would satisfy your need for romance. It could give him an example of romance and give you guys a special moment. :)
2007-12-29 14:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by J.M. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your all emotional right now... mine proposed to me in a bar!!! mine jsut swung around and held out a ring and asked ......i was so confused as to what was going on because it wasn't how i had envisioned it.
but i thought i was at someone elses b-day party instead i was in the middle of my own engagment party...
... i would've liked it a little differant maybe a little more private. I made him propose to me again the next day.... because i was so over whelmed...
somewhere in his head he was thinking i am going to shock the hell out of her. i understand you feel like you missed out. because us girls always have a dream of what it is going to be like when a man finally pops the question. ..
and when it doesn't happen we are a little down.
just run with it........... be happy that this man wants to spend the rest of his life with you.. that is huge!!! if you still feel down think about your single girlfriends who are having dating troubles , and can't find a man , an dthis guy is a jerk .
because you get to wear the pretty dress...
you will be so happy !!!
2007-12-29 14:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by la de da 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get over it 20 years ago my husband came in with a picture of 2 heart and two rings that he drew gave it to me I said that's is nice I love you to he said marry me and the rest is history. He did it his own little way much more special
2007-12-29 14:37:27 · answer #9 · answered by datsleather 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it looks like you've chosen a not-too-romantic guy. You have two choices: marry him anyway and expect to be disappointed, or don't marry him.
Husbands are somewhat trainable. You can tell them that you expect flowers on your birthday, you can train them to be more mannerly, and some changes can occur. But you must remember that he was this way in the beginning, and they always fall back to their "real self" sometimes, or maybe always.
TX Mom
2007-12-29 14:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋