My dad is in his 70s and he lives with me. I feel bad because I'm never home, always at work and he doesn't really have much in common with my husband. He always seems so bored and to be honest, he exhausts me when I come home from work.
I was thinking of getting him a suite at a retirement home in our town, but my sister and brothers, who by the way only sees him barely once a month, think that's a terrible idea. I think it would be great for dad to be there, be with people his age and make new friends, all while living in a comfortable environment. What do you think I should do?
2007-12-29 06:12:39 · 7 answers · asked by Rachel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Follow your best instincts. Your brothers and sisters need to shut UP! Seems they have left you holding the bag with all the responsibilities...
Your father might do well in a retirement home. There will be people his own age, and daily activities... help when he needs it, etc. He would have interaction with more people, also.
You can do your research and make an appointment with social services in retirement communities to see which one might be best, or what the one you have your eye on has to offer.
Afterwards, you can even take your father over to check it out... and also, let him know he's welcome in your home to visit, too!
hugs. i know you want what is best for dad.
2007-12-29 06:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked in a retirement home for 18 years as a cook.I had a lot of interaction with the residents.
If your dad is able,talk to him about it, being sure he realizes what is going on.Don't just take him there which I'm sure you wouldn't do.However,I've known that to happen and it can be devastating.
Check out the homes in your area.Don't be afraid to ask any questions you may have and get them to give you a tour of their complete facility including the kitchen.They should be very accomadating to you and your father.
This could be a wonderful arrangement for your father.There should be activities for him,church service,outings as a group and friends to meet etc..
The enviroment should be comfortable and clean.Most homes will let them bring some personal items with them such as a favourite chair,dresser etc.
Meals should be good and noutrishious.Monitored by the local board of health and dieticians.
Make a list of questions and concerns before you visit each home and as I said,don't be afraid to ask questions.
Nursing staff are caring and he will have good care should he need it.The facility should have a resident doctor who visits each week or on call if need be.
Good luck to you and your father.Make sure you visit with him regularly if he chooses to do this.That is so important.Don't ever let him feel that he's alone and forgotten.Remember to have him visit with you in your home for family time also.
2007-12-29 07:51:29 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its a great idea.
My husbands grandmother was the most unpleasant woman. She lived alone and once she began wandering it was decided to put her into an assisted living residence. She has her own "apartment" but there is quite the social scene there. She has a few "boyfriends" that she flirts with and a lady comes each week and paints fingernails....there is always an activity going on for both the men and women.
I think it would be best for your dad to keep busy. He's not going to be lonely. You and your husband can go visit him a couple times a week, you can still take him to your home for holidays or out for different activities on the weekends.
I think its a good idea and something to think about.
2007-12-29 06:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by Julie D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u are serious about putting him in a retirement home, make sure you research as many different homes as possible, and do NOT take them on face value, the majority of care homes will paint a picture of a home where the carers are always spending time with the residents, entertaining them and looking after them all the time, when really the homes are the most boring sad places ever, more like a house where the old go to wait for death to come knocking.. in most care homes their are not enough carers to look after all the residents, so they always rushed off their feet whilst the residents sit, grow tired, and basically stop using their brain.. tbh i would spend as much time with your father as possible before he becomes senile or disabled.. keep him at home.. try and find him some societeies or groups for him to go to like bowling club, or get in touch with social services they can offer you respite care to give u a break or take him out for the day to socialize..
2007-12-29 06:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your father. Tell him that he seems bored and unhappy with you and your husband and that you are concerned. Then listen to what he says. He may have already considered a retirement home or at least some other alternative arrangement.
2007-12-29 06:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly, in a retirement home, their isn't much love for your dad. What if he misses u? Then again, if he seems unhappy at your home, then go ahead and send him there. if things don't work out great there, ask him what he wants to do. Don't just do somethign without finding out his opinions. good luck and happy new year!
2007-12-29 06:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by yeauh. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your dad say? He's an adult. Why not discuss it with him?
2007-12-29 06:18:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋