I have a BIL 22 years old, and SIL 32 years old, that still live with their parents. My wife (their older sister) and I have put in new tile, installed cable, etc. mainly for my mother in law and not them, although they benefit also. Not only do they not help in any way, either financially or physically helping me install the tile or cable, or say thanks, but only make critical comments about how the things could have been done in a better way. I asked them one time if they wanted to help me and if not then I didn't need any of their comments. Didn't work. How should I respond to people like this, if at all ?
2007-12-29 06:00:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just tell them its ok since your installing or fixing things for your MIL not for them, so their opinion doesnt matter. If they continue tell them they have the option of not using it. If that doesnt work tell them to shut their pie holes. If that doesnt work, you need to then realize youre dealing with retarded people. (Not talking about mentally challenged people because those people are smarter, they rise to a challenge).
2007-12-29 06:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you said that you mainly did these things for your mother in law and not them, so don't worry if they say thank you or not. Plus, if they think it's for them too (which they will if you expect a thank you) then they will also think that it's their right to make mention of what you are doing "wrong" in their opinion. Instead, look at them and say that this is something that you are doing for their mother and the only thing that matters is what she thinks, then simply ignore them. Also, if you choose to do something for your mother in law then it's a gift and you shouldn't expect others to help financially. If this was a necessary thing, like helping to pay for heat or water then yes they should automatically help since they are living there, but cable is a luxury which you chose to give.
2007-12-29 14:11:02 · answer #2 · answered by Lwood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give you alot of credit. You do all these things for a bunch of ingrates. Your BIL and SIL should be thanking you, instead of criticizing you.
You can do either two things,,,, keep helping them for your wife's sake or be conveniently busy.
Sounds to me that two adult children should do their own stuff around the house. Why not be honest and tell them that? I wish you well.
2007-12-29 14:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by Beachgirl123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them, that as soon as they start contributing financially to your projects for THEIR mother, you will be glad to hear and consider their "useful" comments. Until then they can kindly keep their comments to themselves.
Other than that, you should try to just ignore them and contue to be the wonderful son in law you sound like. As long as your wife and mother in law appreciates what you do, thats all that matters!
2007-12-29 21:24:34 · answer #4 · answered by jenk1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't respond to them at all and just remind yourself that you are doing it for your mother-in-law and not for them. As long as she's happy, it doesn't really matter what BIL and SIL think. If you get really annoyed, tell yourself that they are losers for still living at home.
2007-12-29 14:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them. You are doing these nice things for the parents-in-law. I realize that these adult children also reap the benefit from your labor, but be the bigger person here. You'll be proud of yourself down the road if you are able to ignore them. Let them criticize all they want, you will be respected by the inlaws, and more importantly, by your wife, if you don't feed in.
2007-12-29 14:19:53 · answer #6 · answered by judy y 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You seem like a responsible guy who gladly helps his parents, and i think that is a wonderful trait. Your brother in law and sister in law don't seem to be much like you.
If it were me? I would ignore them and just deal with your in-laws when it comes to these projects. I'm sure they appreciate having a son in law like you and i'm also certain they realize their kids are rather worthless in some areas.
If your brother and sister in law don't pay rent, it's their parents' choice... and the are allowing the kids to use them...
I would just ignore their family life, and do what i felt like doing for my in-laws...
take care.
2007-12-29 14:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you have your mother in law move in with your wife and you so you wont have to listen to them. Just a thougt though. oh and tell them that at least you arent a grown person living at home with momma.
2007-12-29 14:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by snickers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try ignoring them. You have not complained about your mother-in-law so please don't stop assisting her. I would do anything to avoid a grouchy 32 year old lady who is still living with her mother.
2007-12-29 14:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by Optimist E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop doing the work!!!! they are adults why are you still taking care of them!!!! if you don't like it don't do it, if you continue to do it then do not complain
2007-12-29 14:10:28 · answer #10 · answered by phantom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋