HELP ME AND FAST i have 2 in a half hours left?

Question

okay i need help and fast!

here it goes.

okay so i live with my gma rite, and my dad came and visited for Christmas and wants me to come back with him, my gma got all mad and was like fine take her then and 10 minutes later said she didnt mean it, and my sisters want me there too, i have no idea what to do!!

if you were in this situation what would you do?

oh and i have lived with my gma for 4 years and only see my dad and sisters like 2 times a year!

and my dad lives with his sister right now who is planning on moving here but idk when, but my dad is getting there place, but if they move here within the next month idk where i will stay because my dad has to work out of state for three months so yeah... help!

it would be hard to say good bye to my gma but its also really hard to say goodbye to them too. so thats why i am confused!

and every time we see each other we ALWAYS
fight about this same exact thing over and over and over... so if i lived with him do you think it would stop??

ugh!! its so hard!!!

gma also said that if i stay i am here for the next 4 years (until i am 18) and if i go i am gone...

first dad said that i should stay here until summer and then gma said that he might as well take me now because if i live with her i am not going to stay in mn for a whole summer...

Answer 1

Go with your dad. Tell your grandma I really love staying with you, but I love my dad also and you know I have been staying with you for a very long time so maybe, could I go stay with my dad (for however long you need) and I will make sure to come back as soon as I can! So call me whenever you need and I will be at your door.

Ok now I feel like crap saying your dad! I said your dad beacuase you havent seen him as much! But reading everyone elses coments stay with grandma she loves you soo much and she would miss you alot. You`can always go to visit your dad for a week or something like that!

Answer 2

Ask yourself 3 questions . 1- Does your Gma love and care for you the way you want to be looked after ? 2-Are you really happy and secure in the environment you are living in right now ( school , friends , social settings , entertainment etc. ) ? 3- Does starting over , getting to know your dad and sisters , sound like it is something you want to invest a lot of time into . Remember , they are only an occasional part of you present lifestyle where your gma is an everyday part of your life . You might also think about how upsetting it might be to your gma about not having you be a part of her everyday life. Family is so very important in ones life , but it comes in many different forms . You may want to take more than a couple of hours to think this one through.
Good luck and be safe and careful out there.
Dave
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Answer 3

Okay, what you need to do first is take a deep breath and calm down.

I think you worded this question in a way you shouldn't have. We don't know your grandma or your dad, so how could we decide for you who you should live with? Any answer we give could be exactly the wrong one, because no matter how much you tell us, we still won't know the whole story right from the beginning.
You need to decide what is best for you. If you think you owe yourself to live with your dad, go for it. If you think you owe yourself to live with your grandma, go for that. Whichever place you feel more comfortable and safe in is probably the right place. You probably have no idea what your grandma or dad feel about the whole situation, so why not put their feelings off to the side. Right now you need to worry about your own feelings, no matter how selfish it feels. Because if you worry about their feelings, you might end up living the next four years miserably because you worried about that stuff.
You need to ask yourself some questions-Would you fight with your grandma or dad more? Which place has your better friends? Do you wish you were growing up with your sisters for younger feminine support? Which house has more space for you? Would your grandma be lonely?
I hope I helped and good luck!
-Claire ;)

Answer 4

Sounds to me like the adults aren't being all that mature and are making this decision even harder for you! Maybe your grandmother lacks confidence in your father's ability to take care of you and is using the aggressive approach, plus she probably doesn't want to let you go. Let your grandmother know how you feel so she can see things from your perspective and help/support you in making the right decision for YOU!

Things you should consider is trying to work out things between you and your father before you live with him. If you can't even go through seeing each other twice a year without fighting then it will be far worse when you are with each other every day. Also, since you are a minor dad needs to work something out that you will feel comfortable with when he is gone for three months out of the year. Maybe you could also work something out so you can spend more time with your father, like staying with him for a week or two, that way you can decide even better whether or not living with him would be a decision you would like/want.

Answer 5

Stay with gma. She loves you all the time and it sounds like she might provide a more stable environment. When you're older and on your own, it might be a good idea to form a stronger relationship with your Dad, but not now. His work won't allow him to be around for you.

Answer 6

It sounds like you might already know what the best answer for you is. Take some time by yourself and think about where you're truly going to be happy right now and for the next several months. Where is life going to be more stable while you're in school?

If your dad just surprised you with this, then maybe ask if you can have some time to think things through. If he's willing to be selfish and completely disrupt you and isn't concerned about your thoughts and feelings right now, then it may not be the best decision for you.

Maybe you can spend time with him longer after he's gotten more settled in and can be there for you. Over your vacation time, maybe?

You're in a tough spot and both adults need to look at what's best for YOU right now.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Too much missing information here to give you advice. How old are you? Why are you living with grandma when your sisters live with Dad? Why does Dad want you after all this time? Stay put, at least you have stability with Grandma.

Answer 8

I'd stay with grandma.

Visit your dad - don't move. Your grandma loves you very much. She's taken care of you for 4 years now. It would be a BIG change for you not to be around.

Visit your dad and sisters... but if you didn't live with them for a reason... it's best you don't change it now. Grandmas get really attached and I'm sure she LOVES having you around.

Answer 9

You don't say what age you are. If you are a minor, stay with your grandmother. She will continue to give you stability and support. Your father wants you now, but maybe not in a few weeks or a few months. You father has no stability or continuity. That's not a good way to raise a child.

Tell your father that you care about him, but that it is in your best interests to stay with your grandmother.

Answer 10

Depends why did you start living with your grams in the first place?

If you think that the environment will be good at your dads house then move in there. If you are uncomfortable staying with your dad then stay with your grams.