TONIGHT I am attending the wedding of an old family friend. My parents and I were invited, but the invitation did not include a "plus one" for my boyfriend of two years, who the bride has not met. Yesterday, against my wishes, my mother called the mother of the bride and asked to have him invited, and the mother of the bride said yes, but I do not feel comfortable because I strive to follow etiquette rules, particularly in regards to weddings. Is it now rude not to bring my boyfriend?
2007-12-29 03:19:46 · 14 answers · asked by musey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
additionally- it wasn't that I didn't want him to come, I'd be happy to, but I understood that it's considered rude to bring a guest if your invite doesn't offer it.
2007-12-29 04:54:29 · update #1
At this point, you should take your boyfriend as he is already being accounted for in the wedding reception. Yes, it was out of ettiquette for your Mother to ask for the extra invite but it's already done and it would be even worse for you not to show with your boyfriend. It was you Mother who stepped out of line not you. Maybe later you can apologize to them, so they know that this was not your idea and that you feel bad and after your Mother asked you were in a no-win situation and had no choice but to show up with him.
Yes it would be rude to not show....show up, have fun and later make amends with this family afterall they are long time family friends and they will understand and maybe it was not a big deal to them but to make you feel at ease....just extend your apologies to them at a later time. Good Luck!
2007-12-29 05:13:57 · answer #1 · answered by itzybit_303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This practice of asking to bring along friends is becoming all too prevalent. A wedding is a celebration of the joining of two people - it is NOT a party! Everyone there should have a stake in the future of the happy couple. You should also consider that they are probably paying at least $25 per person to be there. I agree with you that your mother was out of line putting the bride's mother on the spot like that by asking for an invitation for your boyfriend.
That being said, the invitation is there; you choose whether you want to take him or not. You could always pull the bride's mother aside at the reception and apologize and thank her for being so gracious.
2007-12-29 03:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boo on your mom for putting you in an awkward position. I applaud you for trying to do the right thing and abiding by the bride's wishes.
I think if it were me, I'd leave the boyfriend at home. At the wedding, seek out the mother of the bride. Let her know that your mom called against your wishes, that you are sorry she put the family in an awkward position during what is certainly a harried day, and that you really appreciate her generous extension of an invitation to her boyfriend. If they paid for an extra plate for him, it would be nice if you offered to pay for it.
Good luck to you!
2007-12-29 05:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with your boyfriend for 2 years. It's not as if he's some guy you just met. If you aren't comfortable bringing him, you have much bigger problems than deciding whether to or not. You should have beenthe one to call and 'ammend' the invitation to include someone so special in your life to share in your joy for their happiness. But you didn't. Your mother did. Either way, throw a suit and a smile on him and introduce him to old friends of the family instead of hiding him somewhere, with no one knowing he exists. Then he will definitely be included in future invitations.
Oh, and ignore people asking when it will be your turn to walk down the aisle... that's just not good etiquette, but it will happen repeatedly. If you show up alone, they will try and set you up with the guy they met at the grocery store, etc.
2007-12-29 03:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by Meghan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all ur mother was wrong she should have respected ur wishes if u did not invite ur boyfriend n the bride to be did not have him on her invitation list ur mother had no right going behind ur back to the mother of the bride to ask for him to come that was wrong she totally disrespected ur wishes not to invite him.
Go with what u feel if u do not feel comfortable in inviting ur boyfriend to the wedding than don't it is ur choice not ur mothers go with ur gut n do what u feel is right n don't loose any sleep over it OK!
2007-12-29 03:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by Dark Shadows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was probably an oversite... your mom called to clarify... just bring him... (unless the bride and groom have issues with him - which your question did not say they did)...
The bride will be too busy to care - yet if you do NOT bring him, she may feel guilty that he was forgotten about and it could cause a slight rift / hurt feelings and even perhaps you maight be looked at as petty..
Its always tricky when people are not married to get an invite.. but most couples do not mind if someone brings a bf or gf... this is to celebrate their love afterall, and couple are typically more apt to be happy for the new couple than a miserable, non date bringing single person who is stills earching or upset their love is not there..
Bring him and have fun..
2007-12-29 03:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by astutewoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should definitely bring him. Because your mother made such a big deal of getting him invited, it would be like a slap in the face to the bride's family if he didn't show. Weddings are costly, and no one likes to see the empty chair of someone they've paid $30-$50/person to dine. Please be considerate and convince your BF to come along now that he's been invited.
2007-12-29 03:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother took the problem right out of your hands, and now you must take him. Food will be provided, and it would be double rudeness at this point. Why would your mother do that? Is she dropping hints that the next wedding should be yours? Is she pushing your boyfriend? I would put my guard up a little around a woman that behaves like your mother. Good Luck, and remember this when you and your mother begin to plan your wedding.
2007-12-29 03:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by judy y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly - if I were you I would bring him along. I hate to go to weddings alone. The bride maybe didn't realize that you had a boyfriend when they wrote out the invitations.
2007-12-29 03:24:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your mother called and asked and the bride said yes, you really aren't breaking any rules. Just take him, have a good time, and try to catch the bouquet!
2007-12-29 03:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋