We have been living together and I have forgiven his mistakes over and over again.
He is in his 40's and still lives off his parents!
His good points: He loves me and my kids, he can fix things, his family is wonderful and they treat me like their own.
Bad points: He is super lazy. Doesn't have a job. Lives off his parents. He also has illusions of granduer. I can't tell if he is a con artist or just stupid or mentally ill.
I don't know if i should give him another chance. I don't want to lose the handy man!
Oh, and yes. I love him unconditionally, but don't want to be with a loser anymore.
2007-12-29 02:44:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You say you are living together but he lives off his parents? Don't understand. You don't love him unconditionally or you would not be asking this question. At his age he isn't gonna change. So either accept it and go on or move on.
2007-12-29 02:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by love my life 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems as if each of you is codependent and an enabler of the other. Also, it is obvious that his parents have been that way for far too long. If at all possible arrange a family therapy session with someone very good at defining and untangling relationships. Maybe all of you can grow and profit from this and become a truly cohesive, loving family. This may not be possible, so consider this alternative. As long as he fixes things and helps with the chores, etc, perhaps you should not lean too heavily upon the 'laziness' factor. He does seem to have his energy misdirected but he is willing to be helpful to you and yours. If you can afford to keep all of you up, accept some help from his family and all of you can be comfortable in your individual roles then maybe it is okay as it is. There are many worse situations in which you could be involved.
2007-12-29 03:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by Nightstalker1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a real gem.
If you ever marry this clown you are going to work and he is staying home while you support the family. He will be sitting at the computer or watching TV while you also will be required to clean house, do laundry, and cook.
And you are going to find yourself making excuses for his lazy life to your friends and family thereby enabling him to continue on in this form of a life style as long as he has someone to take care of him.
One day you will wake up and realize what everyone else has said about him is true. You should get out while you can. If you stay with this handyman you are condemning yourself to the above described life.
LOSER is the only word to describe this guy.
2007-12-29 02:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by runner1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you condition people how to treat you! Whatever your idea of yourself is, this is what you project for others to see. At the end if your self-worth is low, you accept negativity and poor treatment from others. If you believe that you only deserve to be with a man like the one you're describing, than that's what you will accept. When you decide that you should be in a better situation, the world around you will change.
Leave the man! Tell him to move out of your house! Spend some time by yourself and then start looking for a whole different type of person. Trust me, he is not the only one in the world (population 6 Billion) who will love you and your kids.
LOOK AT THE WAY YOU'RE REFERRING TO HIM: HANDYMAN - NOT BOYFRIEND! That should be clue number 1
2007-12-29 02:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by williamsburginnewyork 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this:
Whats more important your LOVE or WHAT YOU WANT.
Because you need to realize that if you love him and want to be with him. Then youll obviously have to accept his persona. Hes in his 40s, not likely to change now. lol
ALSO realize that there are a billion fish in the sea, and if you want something more, THEN GO FOR IT! because you do not want to settle for less that what you believe you deserve.
And as rude as it sound: If your an ugly fish....then perhaps you should take the perspective of knowing that he might be all you can get. On the other hand, if your a drop-dead-bombshell.... obviously youll have everyone stepping on each other to be with you... Use your own judgement and evaluate your own SELF-WORTH
take care!
2007-12-29 02:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by karmaliousdotdotdot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, move on. Stop using him to fix things around the house and be a "daddy" to your kids. Any guy that is in his 40's and lives at home with his parents is a real loser. Lose him and grow up.
2007-12-29 02:48:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him as a friend, cook him a meal once in a while and that will keep him fixing things around the house and then you can go out and find someone that meets your needs. Good luck.
2007-12-29 02:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You appear to need help as bad as he does ... "dependent and co-dependancy". A match made in ___ !
What's really stopping you?
2007-12-29 02:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by bucit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your statement is contradictory..how can someone love someone unconditionally and yet not want to live with him anymore
2007-12-29 02:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by Pisces 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well stop complaining and move on!
2007-12-29 02:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by gilmore girls fanatic :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋