How to tell your parents you want to quit violin..?

Question

I play two instruments, the piano and the violin.
I love the piano and I did grade 8 when I was 13 and I truly am passionate about it. After my exam I decided to start another instrument... namely the violin. I've been learning for 2 years and I hate the thing. I hate my teacher, I hate the instrument, I hate everything about it. I don't know how to tell my parents though because its costed them alot and I don't want it all to go to waste.... I practice but I dont think this is a "time" thing. I really really don't like it.. How do I tell my parents?!

ps. I have asian parents (the pushy naggy sort)

I had always thought violin would be an awesome instrument to learn but I found that it wasn't me. I always told myself to keep practicing and get better and you'll like it more but the more advanced I get, the more I hate it...

Answer 1

I have taught violin and piano and play semi-professionally. Some people click with different instruments and not with others - you're lucky in having found that you click with piano so early in life. If you're serious about music and want to consider pursuing it professionally (I don't know if you do, but it's always good to have options in life!) then it is good have an understanding of other instruments, particularly orchestral instruments if you're a pianist, however, there is nothing worse than continuing with something to please someone else when it doesn't please you!

If you're worried about the amount of money already spent on violin lessons etc. you need to consider that the longer you delay telling them, the more money will have been spent, so it's important to do it now. Think about the positive things you have learnt from playing the violin so that your parents needn't feel it has been for nothing. You'll know best what these are, but how about things like an understanding of different musicality, the relationship between solo instruments and orchestral etc. - things that you can say will have helped you as a pianist. Think too about the reasons you started the violin - was it to enjoy another instrument, or to learn additional music skills? Is you learning violin now fulfilling the reasons you started learning it - if it's not, then you can explain this to your parents.

If you're concerned that your parents want you to learn the violin because they want to be proud of your achievements, then perhaps give them some alternatives - could you say that you'd like to start teaching piano instead? I don't know if you're still learning piano, but if you took Grade 8 at 13, you should be able to work towards the Advanced Certificate and a Diploma in piano. You can take these exams without being at Music college, but the Advanced Certificate is equivalent qualification to the 1st year at Music College and Diploma is the equivalent of graduating with a final year degree. If you achieved these while still at school, that would give them something to be proud of, but you may need to stop violin in order to focus on your piano!

Finally, rather than tell your parents you want to quit violin completely, why don't you tell them that you want to stop having lessons for a while (perhaps to concentrate on school work or piano etc.) That way, in their minds, you're leaving the door open for you to start up again, even if you know it's not going to happen, and it's not so final a thing as giving up altogether.

Answer 2

If your parents are the "pushy naggy sort" then simply advise them that your study of the violin is seriously affecting your studies on piano. You do not wish to undermine their investment in your future, but you feel that your future is the piano and that you need to focus your studies in that area. You might even get your piano teacher to go along with you. Never ask to quit something because you "hate it" though. This show immaturity and pushy naggy parents will see that as a sign of rebellion. I am a pushy naggy parent myself (although not fortunate enough to be Asian) and that would send off warning bells in my head in a heartbeat. You should try to help them recoup their investment by finding a buyer for your violin, or repaying them for the instrument over time. You should also give your violin teacher plenty of time to find a new student if possible. If not, at least pay for the lessons you will miss over the next month, or however long the agreed on time is between you. Remember,if you hate someone, you must always treat them more kindly than someone you love or respect. IT is the least you can do when you have pushy naggy parents who will jump down your throat at the least sign of disrespect!

Answer 3

As a music education major, I've been taught (and seen first-hand) that music comes to everyone differently. You have been blessed with wonderful music skills, namely the piano. Sometimes there are other instruments you want to learn, and some come more easily. And some you downright hate.

It could also be your teacher. There's nothing worse than having a teacher you loathe. If you switch teachers, you might find that you enjoy the violin. If you don't enjoy it after switching teahers, then you have your answer.

Good luck, and keep playing!

Answer 4

Tell them that the violin practise is interfering with the piano practise. If you give up the violin then you will have more time for the piano etc.

Seems a pity though. I am learning the violin ; I think it is wonderful........ but to each his own. The money has not gone to waste . You have learnt that you do not like the violin and that you are passionate about the piano.

Why did you think you would like the violin if you hate it so much now ?

Answer 5

Sure is a difficult matter when your parents have put a lot of money into it and the are (like you say) pushy sort of parents.

I believe that the honest way is almost always the best way. Tell them apart from the fact that you regret the fact that you really don't like the instrument all though you tried very hard to like it, it's having a negative influence on your piano playing. Because if you really like piano, you should focus completely on that and leave the violin for the others, who do like it.

Answer 6

Be so kind as to give your violin teacher a month's notice (please don't tell her the _day before_ you're supposed to pay her), and quit. Just tell your parents you're quitting; you shouldn't do it if you hate it; it's an insult to you, to the violin, and to your teacher.

Answer 7

There prob gonna be alot of things you want to try in order to find whats right for you, not all will work out. Tell your parents how you feel and hopefully they will see that your actual trying to find yourself and be unique rather than accept something you are not happy with

Answer 8

follow what i typed,
"Mom, I wanna quit violin."