My husbands sis and husbands bro's wife have started picking on me again. Both have a history of making me look like the enemy, my husband's brothers wife is a real drama queen, she just starts crying and expects sympathy from everyone. I dont know why they do it, but for some reason they find any excuse to start conflict with me, it could even be something as petty as "you said a size 10 won't fit, so you think I'm that large!", or my husband's sis would go out of her ways to make me feel jealous, which I find really childish. Either way what I've noticed is that once a problem does start it ends up with everyone e.g my husbands brothers acting distant from me for a while which is what my sister in laws desire, I feel they want everyone in the family to think bad of me. I am a phd student and also a television model, my work has suffered as a result. My husbands brothers wife is a housewife so she has got all the time in the world to gossip.
2007-12-29 00:38:27 · 9 answers · asked by kitty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
it sounds like you're spending too much time around these people.
how often are you seeing your in-laws besides at a family gatherings for holidays? if your husband wants to go see his family, let him...but you have no obligation.
ask your brother to refrain from talking about you and your family issues with his relatives. that'll stop giving them gas to fuel the fire.
when you see them at family gatherings, be civil and polite but keep your distance. don't get into conversations with them other than the usual "hi, how are you?" you might slip and say something they find offensive or say something you might regret.
i hope this helps =]
2007-12-29 00:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is important. You must get along if you can, to the BEST of YOUR ability. Your husband will see that you are trying.
But at the same time, these people are only important to you because they come with your husband. So don't let them become important to you. If they do then you have given them more power over you. If something happens then just say "yea OK" with an attitude that you just don't get why it is so important. Let them see that what they think, talk, or feel is not important to you. Be nice at all times. Overly nice.
You are there only because of the love for your husband. Then see what happens. This didn't start over night and will not be correct over night.
2007-12-29 01:00:55 · answer #2 · answered by debbri48 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you confront them, they will just use that to make you out to be a b**ch.
They are jealous of you and your accomplishments. What you need is some strong boundaries and the support of your husband.
Plan ahead to not get sucked into their drama. Avoid any topics other than the weather. Give only benign gifts that can not be seen in a negative way. Expect your husband to be close by at family gatherings and let him keep them in line.
Good Luck.
2007-12-29 00:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by ruby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The BEST thing for you to do is NEVER show them you are upset or rattled by any of this. Always keep a smile on your face. Did you ever think that maybe these people are jealous of you? I mean you are a model AND getting your Phd. The other woman is a housewife - maybe she is jealous of your life. Seriously, the more confident you appear, they will notice and they might realize they can't shake you. It will be a challenge, but pretend you are on a soap opera and do you best acting! Good luck!
2007-12-29 00:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by organizeddivas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to put a stop to all that childishness is to stay away from the children. You seem to have your wits about you and have have some nice things going for you, perhaps they are really jealous. I think though that it is time for your husband to step up to the plate and let his family know that enough is enough and that he will not tolerate their behavior toward you anymore.
2007-12-29 00:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by dnjo303 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your hsuband grows distant from you after one of these rows, you can be pretty sure he feels your behavior is part of the problem. do you have it in you to be the hero and simply ignore their slights and slings and arrows? We all need to be respected and accepted and some folks express that need by "pushing" and "drama". Confrontation is probably not going to achieve the respect and calm you desire. Being the hero might.
2007-12-29 01:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
surely the more often that she does this the wiser they will become. Do not bite, this is what she wants. She obviously has some jealous issues with you. No doubt your hubby is behind you. Leave it be, what goes round comes round.
2007-12-29 00:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront your inlaws with what? That you are jealous and immature? I think they already know that. No one can make you feel anything, that's on you.
2007-12-29 01:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kill 'em with kindness! try being super duper nice to them, and they won't have any ammo.
2007-12-29 01:04:20 · answer #9 · answered by Camille C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋