is it better to have yourkids when your young or older?

Question

young bein 17 to 20's older bing 30+

if you want them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is that better for you???? omg honestly there is always one!

Answer 1

I don't advocate teenage pregnancy but I had my son at 18 & then my daughter at 21. It was hard being such a young mum, especially seeing my friends get careers but now my kids are older I'm going to university next year, I have a job & my social life is better than ever. I'm 33 so still relatively young & a big part of me is glad I got the baby stage out of the way. In the last year or so it's like my life has started over. My sister & most of my friends are having babies now & have found it hard to change from being fancy free, career women to mums with bugger all social life. But everybody's different, what works for one may not work for another.

Answer 2

I agree with Mimkat that the same doesn't work for everyone. I had my first child at 16 & my second at 21 - I was extremely lucky to have a very supportive family when I had my first and that I was married by the time I had the second. It has been hard work and no doubt I missed out on things when I was younger BUT it's been great growing with my kids and now I am mid 40's and a grandparent so still young enough to enjoy the babies. My daughters waited until they were a bit older (30 & 24) and this seems right for them. I think the answer is - the right age is when you are settled enough to be able to look after the children properly. xxxx

Answer 3

Its different with every person. I think younger is better though! I think 17 is too young. You should be out of highschool.

I had my first at 19, my second at 21, my twins at 23, and I will be having my fifth while I am 25. So they are all 2 years apart (except the twins they are 2 minutes apart). So younger is better in my opinion because you will be more active with your children and be there longer for them. If you are 40 and have your child you will be 50 when they are 10 and 58 when they graduate and then you could be like 65 or 70 when you get grandkids! I want to be 50 and have grandkids! This is just my opinion!

Answer 4

I married at 17, first child at 18..what did I know about all that marriage brings and raising a child? I had never even held a baby before I held mine the first time. One learns fast enough though and oh she was loved....as were the next 2.
Having children at a younger age is hard because parents are at a time they are trying to establish themselves in a marriage perhaps, a job to earn a family a living, trying to juggle the demands it all calls for and its stressful. You really have to work at making it a success...all of it.
I began my med field in pediatrics and we would see the older parents (late 30s or 40s)...compared to the early 20s or ones in their 20s and you could spot those kids in the waiting room in a heartbeat. There was a difference believe me. Older parents seemed more relaxed in the discipline department, talked to the children rather than correcting them, gave them choices to do things rather than saying "this is what we must do today" type things. Am not saying this was always the case but it happened enough we would all comment on it. By the same token though, older parents are more established and have more patience than younger parents, are not as rushed as so many younger parents are so guess as long as ones act like a parent and not as a friend to the children the children will be fine...as well as the parents..lol

Answer 5

I am the proud mother of 4 children - all spaced out 5-7 years apart - so I can honestly answer this question as I was a young mother, middle aged mother and older mother.

I was 20 when I had my first child - too young! I lacked maturity and patience. I loved my son and provided a nuturing home, but I counted on my mother and grandmother to babysit so I could enjoy my weekends out and sleep in on weekend mornings. My first priority should have been my baby, not my social life.

I was 27 when I had my second child - a perfect age! I now had maturity, experience and understanding. I also had my youth and enjoyed playing hard with my kids.

I was 34 when I had my third child - also a perfect age! In addition to maturity, experience and understanding, I now had financial stability! I was able to leave my full time job and devote my life to my 3 kids. We joined playgroups and had special outings together. Wonderful!

I was 39 when I had my last child - too tired! I have mastered maturity, experience and understanding, but now I am just plain exhausted. I'm ready to return to my adult life and enjoy the quieter things in life. I love reading books, scrapbooking, a clean house and nice decorations - all things that are tough to have with 4 children! I have no regrets about my kids and the choices we made, but I can honestly say that at this age I miss my youth when it comes to running around with the kids.

Answer 6

there are pros and cons for both young and old parents.
young - have the energy to run round after kids etc, still be young enough to have "a life" after the kids have grown up and moved out. you might have a closer bond because of the smaller age gap none of the "you dont know what its like being a kid" but then you have the issues with stable relationships, lack of money and possibly housing and lack of social life.
older - more pacients with kids, probably your own house, more financially secure, you have been there and done it all before. but then you have the idea that you could be in your 50s or older by the time the kids move out, you are going to get tired quicker
im 23 and ive got 1 daughter and another on the way, i like the idea that im still going to be young enough to enjoy late nights out and mucking about with my mates when the kids are older. ill also say im married and have a mortgage so obviously the housing issues etc doesnt apply to everyone.

Answer 7

Totally personal choice!! I was 21 when I had my first. For me that was just right because it meant I had some life experience and I was a still young. but as you get older, you develop more patience and that is really important when you have kids.
I think that being 16/17 is a bit too young, because you still have a lot of growing up to do at that age. Hell even at 21 I felt I could do with growing up a bit more!!

As long as you have a desire to have children, then that is more important than how old you are.

Answer 8

i think it depends on your situation. i think ideally you should be in a loving stable relationship before considering having children, and usually for most people that doesnt happen until perhaps mid 20's late 30's after a little life experience.however things don't always work out as ideally as that and most parents make the best of whatever situtaion they are in when they have children.
there are pros and cons to both sides. have them young and have plenty of time with them, the energy to run after them and still have time left to have a career etc, however you may lose out on your youth and not be so finacially stable.
have them older and perhaps have financial security, life experience, an established career, but perhaps not as much time left with them or the energy to run around with them.
i had my first daughter at 21 and am now pregnant with number 2 at 22. i am married and already have university qualifications and plan on returning to university when my second baby is about one. If im lucky enough to get the chance to have a third child i would like to have it when i was in my late 20's.
edit- forgot to say my husband was 33 when we had our first and he wishes he was younger so he had more time left with the kids.

Answer 9

I had my son when I was 20 and my daughter when I was 21. My fiance is 8 years older than me. I wouldn't change it for the world. Im not saying when you are younger you have more energy. But my mother had me at 18 and my sister at 32 and I can see that she doesnt have patience now. Maybe its because she works a 40 hr. a week job and has a husband and 7 year old daughter to take care of. I'm a stay at home mom all of my time and energy go into my kids and I love every minute of it. But that's also because I don't have the stresses of a job bringing me down. I give much respect for both working mothers and stay at home mom's, no matter what age!

Answer 10

I had my son when I was 40 and although he keeps me young (he is now 11) I wish I had him younger, not as young as 17 as I would need to have some time without the responsibility of having children, perhaps at around 25 - 30.