Is this selfish?

Question

Its been the same story for years. my parents don't get along. my mom constantly wants to divorce my father because he is emotionally abrasive and hates her family for no real good reason. they are always fighting..my siblings are married and live in their town, but i am away at college. I really can't stand to come home to these problems..i listen to them talk trash about each other, but honestly the stress gets to me..and most of the time i can't wait to get back to my college city and my apt.

ive been home for about a week and half but its felt like months. i cant wait to get back on the 2nd so i can pay my rent and start school the 6th, but my dad makes faces at me that im leaving earlier than the school start date...i need a vacation too! i want to see my fiancee! i have a life too. they seem to think that i have no life because im a student.

they wake me up early , open my door to let the light in. they don't understand my clock is off from finals! i need rest!

and my parents also ask me to help work at their business...i help my sister ocassionally with her handicapped son, and ocassionally with her office as well. i know i have free time, but being here is depressing with all the drama. everyone is always talking bad about someone else. im so tired of it! my mom constantly says she's going to have a stroke or heart attack. I think my dad is bipolar..he goes up and down constantly

am is selfish for not wanting to be around here?

thankfully my parents pay me through school, especially lately ive received their help, and i ma grateful, but i don't feel i should have to sacrifice my sanity for .

if i get a job my dad takes away my money.

Answer 1

You should talk to your parents and explain this to them

Answer 2

I have a feeling you asked this q about 10 days ago. Similar writing st yle and similar story. I could be wrong. Is this the first time you are asking this Q?

Makes no diff.

I answered at that time and the answer is still the same. You should get out; stay out. Tell them why you are staying out. You are an adult and you should make your own decisions.

When you are staying out, find a job - anything - and keep your sanity together because you can do things the way you want. This is the only solution I can see out of this situation.

Answer 3

I dont think that you are selfish. I think
that they both need attention. And by constantly reminding you of their problems at home, they are looking for attention from you. They should be able as adults ( more life experience then you ) to settle their own differences, without keeping you constantly in the know. They should be focused on your accomplishments. You are doing a great thing for yourself and you future. I am not trying to be a "know it all "with my answer. Its just that i have been in the same situation with my parents. Only, it was too late once they realized how they acted.

Answer 4

Have you tried to taste the sweat of earning money?Good for you your parents has business for the source of income.For just how many weeks you can't helped them?You just come to take money from your parents for your tuition.Other students have to do partime jobs during their vacation and some are working students;They support their own studies themselves but they didn't say anything.Why you had many complaints if they let you helped them? You're the only one now who is their member ;as a parents they needs your love and attention too .Why don't you spend time with them going to some recreation parks;eat at the restaurant;go to movies,or to the opera.Give them time to talked about their problems. You can repay them by just helping them while your at home.You can realized you're parent's situations when you have your own family and become a parent too.

Answer 5

Not at all! Whilst we'd do anything for are parents and family especially when they bought us up you are entitled to a vacation!

Having been through similar myself; you need to sit down with each parent individually and tell them how you feel. Explain the them that you understand they have issues with each other but you do not want to hear about it. If they begin to talk bad about each other just politely remind them that you love them and you do not want to hear it. Say it with a smile; it may help!

Re going back to college early; just tell them you have some pre semester reading and studying to do!

Answer 6

You are an adult, don't get caught up in their toxic relationship. Your mom should leave or kick him out if he is abusive. Do what you need to do, leave early, don't feel guilty. There is no selfishness in taking care of yourself in a situation like this. In is not necessary for you to try to explain the why's of what you want to do, just state your plans and do it.

Perhaps your parting words should be to them that it is no pleasure listening to them go on and on and they should get counseling or get a divorce.

Answer 7

Tell them you do not want to hear what they have to say about the other.

Evidently there is much more than twenty years of them fighting so do ot get bothered about it. Many married couples fight and threat for fifty and more years. Stupid I know but they do this.

Get on with your life and let them have theirs they way they want it.

Answer 8

Nobody wants to be put in the middle of a battle between their parents. I'd want to get away from it too. I don't think that makes you selfish.

Answer 9

get a job of your own to pay your expenses and if you need a vacation spend with friends or indulge yourself in activities which gives you pleasure and helps you get rest .

Answer 10

NO, your parents (I AM SORY, PLEASE DONT GET MAD) are selfish jerks. they need to realize that you are an adult and that you have a life and they need to spilt up or work it out and not drag you into it...sounds like you are more mature than they are.