These emails go into quite graphic detail. I confronted both my Fiance and the other party but both say nothing happened. But in the emails, they were arranging to meet the following day at our house for god knows what. I decided to give my partner another chance because i believed him that nothing happened. Have i done the right thing?
2007-12-28 21:42:32 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks for all your answers. We have not set a date for the wedding yet so it will be easy enough to call it off.
2007-12-28 21:54:50 · update #1
It is always hard to answer questions like this without too much detail.
I think at the end of the day you have to make a choice whether or not to trust your fiance and your friend at their word.
If you cannot trust them then you need to end it - the engagement and the friendship.
Best of luck, these things are never easy.
x
2007-12-28 21:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
there's two possible scenarios:
(1) that they were planning something special for you, a party or a present. Although why the emails go into graphic detail isn't explained.
(2) there's something going on between them that you shouldn't know about. Unfortunately this seems the more likely of the two.
I wouldn't confront them both together but separately. I suspect they will both deny anything going on, it's unlikely you will get a confession.
So, if nothing happened, what were the emails about? Why are they corresponding behind your back? Ask them both for an explanation of that, and be persistent with your questioning, don't be distracted from asking "what does this email actually mean, what were you referring to".
And if they keep protesting, ask your fiance what HE would do if he found similar emails between you and his best friend? That's a good question to ask, and keep asking.
Unless you get a satisfactory answer, one which makes sense to you, I think you should give these relationships -both the one with your fiance and the one with your friend - a serious think. Can you trust either of them from now on?
2007-12-28 22:25:42 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry. I've been there and it's so hurtful. Just based on what you said about "graphic detail and dodgy emails," I'd definitely be feeling the same way that you are REGARDLESS of what the two of them are saying. If he's done this to you prior to your wedding, he's going to do it after the wedding as well. He's proven himself to be untrustworthy, which is one of the most important necessities of a marriage/engagement.
I hate to say it, but run away from BOTH of them. They've both betrayed you and it will only continue. Best of luck to you!
There is someone else out there for you who won't treat you this way. No worries.
2007-12-28 23:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by Why? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing has happened as of yet. If they are talking and planning on meeting that is enough for you to have proof if he supposably loves you then he wouldn't be making plans with your friend to meet to do god knows what. He shouldn't be having conversations like that. That means that is isn't certain that you are the one he wants to marry unless he is one of those guys that loves you and wants to be with you and also wants to fool around on the side (that makes him feel like he can have his cake and eat it too. --be married and still get laid whenever he wants) he isn't trustworthy anymore because he found the e-mails and your read them and they aren't just coming from one side it an agreement between them and they are both getting graphic then its time to dump him or take a break until he figures out what he REALLY wants you or this other girl there is no both in this sisution. Good Luck!
2007-12-29 01:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by Starsky 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing by confronting them,but since the answer they gave you didn't really satisfy your suspicions,you're now in a tricky spot.
Did they tell you why they'd arranged to meet? And ask why was there any need to put this graphic content into emails.
Your partner should only be talking about personal and intimate things like that with you,and no one else.
Hope you get to the bottom of this soon x
2007-12-28 21:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs_Golub 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sure sounds like you need a new love in your life and a new friend! This are the people you trust and it does not sound like they are doing you any favor by exchanging explicit graphic emails!
Find youself someone who is worthy of you and find a loyal friend! With friends like that you don't need enemies!
It's unfortunate but it's best that you found out now and it's not to late to start in a different direction! Look for love and friendship elsewhere where you are truly appreciated!
Good Luck and keep you head up....everything happens for a reason and it's best to not have regrets later! There is a someone special worthy of your love out there for you and someone who is waiting and willing to be your true friend!
Good Luck and God bless!
2007-12-29 06:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by itzybit_303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have both disprespected you in the worst way possible. Regardless of if they have acctually done anything. He obviously is not getting something from you to feel the need to get graphic with someone else. You mark my words. He will cheat on you in the end, in a life long commitment the time youve been together so far is a spec in a very big ocean, if he needs to get his kicks like that now - when things are meant to be new and exciting then whats he gonna be like in a few years. Get rid hun' - of both of them. Dont be a door mat.
2007-12-28 21:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by DooDooBar 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sometimes something can look innocent and actually be quite the opposite and vice versa. My advice would be to go with your gut instinct. You know your friend and fiance best...either way, trust in your relationship has taken a battering and this is something HE needs to build up again. If he can not give a pausable explanation for the meeting (even if it means spoiling a suprise) then I personally would be spending many an hour wondering. what is he DOING now to help re-build the trust you clearly had in him. Actions speak louder than words so please, before you plunge into marriage, please look hard at your fiance and do not marry unless you can trust him COMPLETEY.
2007-12-28 22:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by stile_usm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first off ..... why did you feel the need to check his emails?
Is it a gut feeling that something wasn't right? This is how I caught my ex husband out (way before we got married ) and I gave him the benefit of the doubt.. and gues what, he had a full on affair for over a year after we were married and now we are divorced. Some men will lie even when faced with the truth and evidence.
2007-12-29 03:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Similar thing occured to me - i found some dodgy emails from some bloke to my girlfriend and she denied everything. I forgave her - but a few weeks down the line discovered thru her texts and call register that she was indeed cheating on me.
I say dont get married to him yet, or better still dump his sorry behind and the 'friend' as well.
2007-12-28 21:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by dawgz 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋