My friend wants me to go to church with her?

Question

Alright, so my friend has not been going to church for the past few months because her mother always forced her to and she didn't really like the idea of it in the first place. Now for some reason, she wants to go to church one more time before the New Year. Why, I've no idea.
I myself was raised in a family where no religion was forced upon me. I never had to go to church or pray before I eat or anything like that. While I respect other religions, I am happily an atheist.
I’ve decided that I’m probably going to go with my friend to support her. My question is, what exactly am I supposed to do? Is there any way I can detach myself from the church-happenings without being rude?

xD I'm afraid god is going to come into my life? Not a chance missy...

Answer 1

Just sit and listen. If they kneel to pray, just stay sitting quietly. They will not find it rude. During communion just pass on that and again, stay sitting.

I go every once in a while with my girlfriend.

Answer 2

I'm glad that you are willing to go, even though you really don't want to go. You're being a good friend to her.

Now, here's what I recommend. When you go, if they stand, then stand, if they sit, then sit, if they sing....you don't have to sing, but just listen quietly. If someone offers their hand to you, shake it. If they invite you back, smile and say "thank you, I'll keep that in mind" but you don't have to commit.

I agree with the person who said not to participate in communion. That is only for Christians, because it's a remembrance of Christ's death, burial and resurrection and is to be participated in only if you have decided to follow Christ. If they pass communion to you, just politely shake your head and smile and then pass the tray onto the next person. The same with the offering plate. Smile and pass it on to the next person.

I hope that the church will be a pleasant surprise for you. The way some of the atheist criticize churches on here, I have to wonder if they have been in any churches recently. Because most churches I've visited are nothing like what I've heard about on here. (I'm searching for a new church right now, so we're visiting churches).

Answer 3

nah...

think of it this way....

you're doing this as a TRUE FRIEND.

you don't have to worship along with her. all you have to do is stay by her side from the start until to the end. just follow the lead of other worshippers and do what they do. If they stand, stand. if they sit down, sit down. if they sing, forget it. you'll never know the lyrics or how they sing it. if they ask you to partake in communion or eat or drink anything during the service, decline.

remember.... she needs YOUR PRESENCE, not your faith.

i think the reason why she wants you to come with her is because she doesn't want to feel isloated. just stick by her and play the wallflower and shy type when other churchgoers asks you too many questions. just smile and look at your friend for help.

but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will you leave her side! just tolerate the church worship and be neighborly civil while being tactfully silent. watch at the sidelines, as they say.


you're a true friend if you can be tolerantly tactful for your friend on this event. Good luck!

Answer 4

You don't need to sing or say anything - preferably stay quiet through the whole experience - but you need to stand when others stand and sit when others sit.

You don't need to give any money to the collection (and do not take any money either) and you should not participate in the communion.

Take it as you would take any religious happening and watch it for a sociological point of view. It must be exotic to be visiting a church and see the "natives" practice their weird religion ;-)

Answer 5

So you're an aethiest. Join the club. If your friend needs a buddy to go to church with, why not? What are you supposed to do.? Just be respectful and keep your mouth shut. You don't have to pray, or sing, or do the communion thing, or kneel. Churches are just gathering places for most people. It's possible you'll meet some people you like and want to build friendships with.

Answer 6

Depends, what kind of church is it?

Mostly you can just sit there, tune out the sermon and mumble along to the words of the songs. I think you'll fit right in with half the congregation.

On a serious note, if you're not Christian, then do NOT take the Lord's Supper. It's a serious no-no if you don't believe.

Answer 7

Just look around you and imitate whatever anyone else is doing there. Chances are that more than half of the people there do not go on a daily basis and are doing what you are doing. Do you honestly think these people know when to rise and kneel and make hand signs? =)

Answer 8

You don't have to sing, if they pray bow your head in respect but you do not have to follow or listen. It they do communion stay in your sit, not everyone goes up. It will feel like you are sitting in a class with a really boring teacher. Unless you are interested in the teaching of the bible.

Answer 9

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Or...Roman Catholics.

I went to the wedding of my step-cousin about a year ago. The ceremony was a traditional Catholic service. I bowed my head when everyone did, stood when everyone did, and said "amen" when everyone did.

Showing reverence isn't the same as sharing the belief. Just do what everyone else does as a sign of courtesy if nothing else.

Answer 10

Tell them you left your checkbook at home and that you are out of cash. Come to think of it, they probably have an ATM machine, so you really shouldn't even bring your purse into the church. Leave it at home or in the car. All your jewelry tool. They just might ask for that as well. Churchy luvs da money, yo! Be careful.

Answer 11

Just let anyone who asks you about it know that you are there to support your friend, and that is all. I've done it for my friends before. But if anything, church only enforced my disbelief of God. It was...in a word - ridiculous. These people wouldn't even let me come into the door unless I gave them a bunch of personal info, then they sent me mail for a year saying "come back! we love you!"
Creepy. So...word of advice, don't give out any personal information. Make it up if you have to.