me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 2 months and yesterday his older brother passed away in a car accident. his brother was about 25 i think. any advice on what i should do? i don't wanna bug him and i don't wanna seem like i don't care. help please?
2007-12-28 18:21:44 · 29 answers · asked by barrieralex 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
in response to steven, accidental. he fell asleep at the wheel.
2007-12-28 18:28:02 · update #1
Call him and let him know you are thinking about him. Offer to come to the funeral to support him or to run any last minute errands for his family. He is going to need a lot of time alone at the oddest times. Be available yet understand when he just wants to be alone.
2007-12-28 18:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by to tell ya the truth........... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him and offer your sympathy, tell him you will be there should he need your help, and ask if there is anything specific you can do. He may want to talk, or if there is a large family he may be too involved with them at this time. Ask if he would like you to call tomorrow. If he says yes, do so and try to find out when/where the services will be held. He may indicate whether he wants you to be there or not, you will just have to be the judge of what he wants. If you can afford to, send a small flower arrangement to his home or to the service. If you cannot afford one, send a card to the entire family. Be there for him in the next weeks, but don't pressure him if he is feeling badly and doesn't want to be as affectionate or talkative as he usually is. Let him be quiet if he needs to.
2007-12-29 02:31:55 · answer #2 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive. Don't push him into talking. Just be there for him. Being in his presence or a ear to listen to him is very important. I would suggest you offering to accompany him at the funneral. This might be helpful in such a difficult time. Don't be pushy about girly things. Take your time. Have a gentle arm around him or hold his hand. Time and patience with a caring friend can mean more than words can ever express. Also give him a card that is a "support in sadness, or time of need or sympathy card."
2007-12-29 02:32:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take cues from him, and/or his body language. you may want to give him and his family a little bit of space, but let him know that you will be there if he needs you for anything at all! Offer to go with him to the funeral or memorial, even if you don't want to go, the comfort and support may help. Everybody grieves differently...some people right away, others bottle it up, and then "break-down" days, weeks, months later. Just be patient and understanding, this will take time.
Goodluck~Angel
2007-12-29 02:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by ☆ANGEL☆ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww. I'm so sorry. That must be terrible.
As much as you do anything, I don't think he'll seem
to concentrate since he las just lost someone very special.
What you need to do is be there. Make him food, be sweet to him, don't go overboard though. Just let him know that you're there for him if he wants to talk. Be as kind and gentle to him as possible. Don't burden him with any problems that he might be having or you. Give him advice when he needs it.
G'luck. And sorry again.
2007-12-29 02:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by Cassandra S. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call and ask him if he needs anything, attend the funeral. If he already has family support, just walk up and give him a hug, you will gauge from his reaction what he needs from you. Especially after the funeral and memorials are done, that is when he will need support. Just having someone to listen means so much at a time like this, but don't be offended if he pulls away
2007-12-29 02:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by lahlahdipsypo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My brother died in a car accident 6 years ago. What kind of annoyed me was that everyone avoided my eyes and me for about a month afterward because they felt awkward. What about how I felt. So DON'T avoid him, talk to him about normal things. Maybe he has a funny story about his brother that will make him smile. Hug him heaps but don't look like you pity him. Don't constantly ask 'are you ok?' - of course he's not ok but he won't want to admit it.
2007-12-29 02:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by ginga ninja 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He will need time alone, but then there will be times when he needs you there with him, so you are just going to have to bare in there and help him, this is a crucial turn point in his life. Because he can go south and get on a wrong path or (with some help) use this to his advantage, whatever the situation may be.
2007-12-29 02:25:40 · answer #8 · answered by iBob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send a card and a potted plant. Send the card to his house and the plant to the funeral home. If you know his religious beliefs a book on grief would be a nice thought. Give him a hug and tell him you are sorry for his loss and ask if you can do anything, he will probably say no.
When my boyfriend's dad died he was too upset to drive so I drove him to arrange the funeral and helped clean his dad's apartment. My coworkers asked is they could do anything and I said to send him a card, I didn't have time and since his family was all involved they didn't send them to each other.
2007-12-29 02:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just be extra nice to him for the next couple of months, and basically be his personal slave for the next couple of weeks. Just tell him if there is anything you can do for him, you will do it. Give him a lot of hugs. Things won't be able to be romantic for atleast 2 months. Just consider his feelings, and not yours for atleast 2 months. How would you feel if your brother or sister died? ...Exactly. Just be a sweetheart to him.
2007-12-29 02:27:35 · answer #10 · answered by judge1234 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋