I usually try to have fun on here but I miss my mom so terribly...especially around the holidays. I feel cheated and envious of friends and relatives who still have their moms to hug and talk to. Has anyone else lost their mom? How do you cope?
2007-12-28 18:11:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am right there with you. I lost my dad recently and am having the same problems. I'm not gonna lie, it completely sucks as you know.
The best advice I can give you is take your emotions as they come. When you feel sad, be sad. Let yourself grieve...cry as much as you need to. If you need to push your mom out of your thoughts for a bit, do it. Try not to feel gulity about doing this. I still struggle with this. If you are happy and want to remember all the wonderful moments you spent with her, do that as well.
Talk to her. Keep her in your life.
People always tell me he is here in spirit but you and I both know that it just isn't the same. The situation is horrible but know you will get through it. I'm sure your mom is so proud of you as I know my dad is of me.
Remember, there is no wrong way to cope. Most everything you will do to handle this is normal in this abnormal situation. Don't let anyone tell you how to handle it. Grief is completely personal. My mom and I both handle the situation so differently but we are each just as sad.
For the rest of our lives we will look back and remember our parents. We will be sad and happy and angry and every other emotion concerning their untimely death. However, I take comfort in knowing that I had a wonderful relationship with my dad. It sounds like you had the same with your mom. She loves you always and forever.
2007-12-28 18:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my mom almost 7 years ago and it still hurts. Time heals - you just have to give it time. It never goes away but time helps you to not cry all the time. Holidays always seem to be the worst time for those feelings too. Hang in there and focus on who is here with you - nieces, nephews, children of your own - they are so precious and can help you realize that life goes on. God Bless.
2007-12-29 02:14:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ann M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my dad to alcohol...he's still alive, but may as well be dead. He doesn't know me now. Functionally and emotionally, it's the same thing.
I step up to my role as my son's father. Realizing that life is but temporary, I try to make sure that he'll have a bunch of good memories to draw on when it's my turn to pass on.
If I'm doing this right, he'll think of "Dad loves me" as one of those universal constants right along with gravity, heat, cold, etc.
My time with my dad is past. It can't be fixed. All I can do is make sure that my son's time with his dad doesn't need fixing.
Short answer: Focus on the now, appreciate it, and if you have to look back....do it fondly if possible, or at least get a lesson which helps you improve your now.
2007-12-29 10:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lost my mom in 1998 and my dad a year later, my brother just passed away a few weeks ago!!! and to tell the truth, i'll never get over losing my parents and brother. its like pieces of a puzzle,one moment there all there and you turn your back and some of the pieces are missing. there is just an empty void that cannot be replaced.but life goes on,and you just try to think of the good times and happy times you spent with them.
2007-12-29 05:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by Clint M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother died on Easter Sunday of this year from breast cancer, she was 53. This thanksgiving and Christmas were the first holidays since she passed, and it wasn't the same with out her. But we made it threw it ok. The only thing I couldn't do, was go to my step fathers on Christmas for dinner, because he is dating his ex wife, and her and her family were there. And I just couldn't go over there with her there in my mothers house using her things. And her one daughter, I actually just want to knock the crap out of every time I see her, because of things that happened when my mother was alive. SO, just avoid the trash. Feel sorry for my step father, and would like to spend time with him. But I cant be around his skank ex, and her skank trashy daughters.
But for the most part, me and my sister have dealt with her passing, and life goes on. I have 5 kids to take care of, and they don't need me being an emotional wreck.
2007-12-29 02:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by cris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've lost a close family member..it is tough because the holidays remind me of them....I usually try to focus on the good memories....
2007-12-29 14:39:20 · answer #6 · answered by loofa36 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lost my mom as well only it must be harder on you because you actually knew her i lost her when i was 1 1/2 when i think about it too hard i have a good cry and try to move on
2007-12-29 02:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Penny, first, I would like to offer my condolences and prayers for you. I can say , honestly I know what you are feeling. I lost my Mother, Aug, 2003 . My Mother-in-Law in Feb. of 2004, both to cancer. Then my Father passed away Dec. 2004. I will tell ya first off, It isn't easy to forget someone who loved you and you loved them, and I will tell ya, I think of all 3 everyday. I overheard my Great Uncle tell my Mother the same thing when my Grandma s' died ' You will now not know a day that you won't think of them. And he was right. not a day does go by I don't.Cheated, yea, that thought has crossed my mind, and anger wa the first thing i felt. i blamed the Md's, nurses, even GOD for taking away all the best things in my life, till I had a dream, where first I saw my Mother, then my Mother and Mother-in-law together and they were so happy where they were ( a cloudy background was all I had too) and then my Father, ( he was a younger version of myself) being a practical joker, cause he always did like to pull pranks on us. With that, I realized all were in a better place than they left here on earth, and it was selfish of me to wish they were here. In 2002 my Mother and Father gave me a Birthday card that i put in my glovebox along with my car registrationand Ins. card. See, my plates expired on my birthday, and after leaving them that day I went to renew my plates and the State offerred a 2 yr renewal so I did it and same with car ins. My wife renewed them for me in 2004 and I left the registration in a drawer, put my Ins card in an envelope over the sunvisor, again good till 2005. ,same thing. A long story short, in the yr of '05' I went to put registration, Ins. card in the dash in case my wife drove it she would have proof of everything and when I got out the plastic envelopeto put it in their was that Birthday card from 2002 from MOM and DAD wishing me a Happy Birthday. I just froze right there, a warm chill passed over me as I felt them both looking over my shoulder as I got a card from them on my birthday. I can't even begin to describe tha "Feeling", except to say I found peace enabling me to "Let Go" along with the dreams I had of them also. When i pray, I always say to the LORD, " Say Hello to my parents and Mother-in-law" !!!
2007-12-29 02:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too, time is a great healer
2007-12-29 02:14:59 · answer #9 · answered by Rana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋