Why is the fault shifted?

Question

I've been suicidal many times in life, and though I'm an atheist, many have attempted to convince me that when I'm not successful in suicide, "God" has saved me.

However, when someone commits suicide, God apparently has nothing to do with it; apparently it's all them, acting selfishly.

Why? What's the difference?

Black Wizard: So basically, it's internal or external shifting of responsibility; you're saying?

Jeff -- you obviously have not lived as I have. When you lose everything; your parents, your friends, all other family, and are convinced by those around you that you have no potential in life, what's the point of continuing? Why should one stay alive, if they have nothing left to live for?

Answer 1

I don't think god save you from suicide. I think you don't follow through. Maybe there is a part of you that feels there is more to life then the present. And maybe there is a part of you that wants to see the next chapter.
I am not sure. On a really crazy day when death and destruction was on my mind and I was in a rage I (now don't laugh) looked at my cat and decided I did not want to leave her to the wolves. So I calmed down and lived another day. It's our own minds that make the choice. Not God.

When someone commits suicide they are at the end of their rope. No one can feel that feeling but them. It is a desperate feeling that nothing will ever get better. And in some cases that is true. Those let behind alway think " Why did you quit so soon?" But to those that leave they quit when they no longer felt they could go on.

Answer 2

Suicide is always traumatic; the end of believing the lie that nobody cares or understands; the breaking of the human spirit by abuse and brutality. Once broken, a person subjected to abuse becomes suicidal or homicidal; either succumbing to the abuse to become an abuser themselves or totally folding under the weight of the pain they bear; either to be a Victim or a Victimizer. In extreme cases, they do both, killing themselves after going on a killing spree.

Abusers always shift blame to the people they abuse and hide their brutality by lies and deception and publicly pretend to be decent. A victim becomes well versed and even fluent in these methods of deception and employs them as a means of self defense.

If a person commits suicide, that was their decision. Some blame God for their suffering, although I never did. I have known a few people who have killed themselves or tried and it is devastating, mostly because it is totally unnecessary. Better to tell someone (anyone) the truth about what happened and how you feel and get help.

I tried it once when I felt I just couldn't take it anymore. I had been beaten and raped and then shuffled from one foster hell to another and one day decided I would just end it by hanging myself. I chickened out as the rope tightened around my neck and was able to get loose somehow. That was when I was eight years old.

edit:

It seems you are reacting to someone else's suicide. You have a family, (mother, father, sister) so I am not sure what personal loss you are referring to. Are you adopted? Sometimes when you first find out it can set you back a bit. But to realize some loss you would have to already know if you had been adopted. In that case, this question is really about something else. The real issue seems to be why your friend committed suicide. My answer addressed that issue in general.

Thumbs down huh. Wow. Good thing I didn't go into the heavy stuff.

Answer 3

Because they see it as a good and evil thing. The good being you being alive the evil being suicide. Satan caused the suicide. They are always looking for someone to point the finger at. One of my friends from middle school committed suicide thinking God was all he had left and that he would rather be in heaven than this hell.

When it seems like all is lost, finding importance in other things, making goals, following through, will help you through the struggle. If your still in school and not doing very well maybe now is the time to consider what is causing this, if its the lack of care; take it from someone who is suffering, if you do crappy in school things will stay bad longer. I am now going through the backlash of having the "who gives a **** about me anyway" attitude about success and school. I'm glad that I now realize that it is the success that will give you the happiness and gratification your lacking. Which then makes everything seem a little easier to handle.

Answer 4

There is really no difference - God actually gives us a lot of freedom to choose the path we decide to take.

Studies have shown that men are actually more successful in suicide than women. This could be partly explained as men having somewhat more knowledge on what it takes to actually end your life. Some have suggested also that with many women, suicide attempts are a "cry for help", and success at it is not what is really desired.

Theologically it's very simple - Thou shalt not murder. That includes yourself. Your life is not your own to take. You actually belong to God, wether you acknowledge it or not. You were bought and ransomed at a price that only God could pay. Someone who commits suicide rejects that, and has set themself up as "God".

Answer 5

The difference is an actual suicide leaves many unanswered questions that many cannot answer. And that only the one who died has all the answers. That is why it is a selfish act.

But to have your life spared, by the same act means that people realize there must be a larger picture other than what you see for yourself. That is why they call it an act of God for your survival.

You are walking a steeper path than me. All my immediate family i.e. parents and siblings are all dead. And I have no contact with relatives. Instead I had 3 teenage sons that compelled me to stay alive for their sakes and keep living. I could never walk to their mother's grave with clear conscience knowing I abandoned my duty as a father to them. And that they would have no father to help them in life.

I don't know how old you are. But I believe God made life the way for human beings so that we would lean on each other from birth until death. And that we are not to be alone as Adam found out in the garden of Eden.

Maybe your calling is to help others like yourself and join a support group. And to help each of you with life. IT is a fundamental and normal characteristic of life to be needed and to give support. When you do that, I believe it will help you to stay here and tart living again.

Take care.

Answer 6

Well, suicide is certainly one of the most self-obsessed acts anyone can carry out - it is totally all about you with no consideration whatsoever towards the effect it has on anyone else. But ... I would think that attempted suicide means that you don't really want to die. If you wanted to die then you would keep going until you are dead - how can someone fail at killing themselves? If you are still alive then you didn't want to die. If you wanted to die then you would keep going until you succeeded. Anyway, there is no god so whether you are alive or dead it is by your own hand and you've obviously chosen life so there is something else that is still worth living for and I guess you just need to work out what it is that is keeping you here and focus on it.

Answer 7

I'm not sure if this is really an answer to your question . There are others here that will do a good job of that .
I am an atheist .
There is a line from a song : " When you put your hand in fate's you don't let go ."
I sort of think this is the atheist way of saying what the christians were saying to you with : God had a plan for you , etc .
Just thought it was interesting .

Answer 8

just a suggestion before you self terminate your body ...

just change. kill the self you are now. become someone else. take what you can find in yourself that is good and strong and build on those attributes. don't stay where you are. change where you live, what you see every day. even go so far as to rename yourself. gain power by reinventing your id. death equals change so you may as try something less drastic than permanent discorporation first before you leap into the unknown.

1 more suggestion. try jumping onto the Renaissance Faire Circuit. people are so often accepting of misfits and the emotionally wounded there, a community of sorts. just give it a try. i did the Ren Circuit for 7 years, made friends, traveled the country, had fun and made a little money and learned a bunch of very cool stuff.

i'm just suggesting that what you really need and want is change and maybe death is more change than is really necessary.

PS. the first show of the year is in Apache Junction Arizona in Feb. you'll need to get there at least a week before the show starts to hunt up a job. it gets cold there at night so bring warm cloths, blankets, small cook stove, easy heat foods ... you know ... camping stuff. you should google Renaissance costumes and then hit the thrift stores to find a cheaper version. go on an adventure. what have you got to lose?

Answer 9

according to Buddhism, when you have learned all lessons in life, it ends...even in suicide...they do not condemn it

my wife needed serious consolation when her brother killed himself with her religious father's gun (he made a statement)

she and Isaac were close, she cared more about him than any person in the world, it hurt her alot.

he found it easier to end life as confusing as it was, with debts mounting, with dysfunctional family with Jerry Springer type environment and depression setting in more than anyone knew

I feel I am 'god', I create my own success or failure, I blame no deity as I am atheist and feel I play the cards I am dealt, albeit a really crappy hand sometimes

I am enjoying raising my kids, at times I too was suicidal and if I can't find a reason to stick around, I know they do need me

yeah, I'm kinda stuck

by the way...humans have this will to survive that sometimes requires another's assistance...that's why they made Jack Kivorkian's assistance as the Doctor of Death illegal in some states...they say only god can decide the fate, not a person

there is your answer...by taking own life you are showing you are in control and end life on your terms..not about selfishness

Answer 10

A better (or worse?) example is when one lone person survives a train derailment or some other tragedy like that and they say something like "God must have been watching over me."

WHAT! And God actually wanted the rest to die!?!

And please, dear Christian friends. I know you mean well, but when someone loses someone early, don't tell them God decided it was time to take him home. I heard of someone who said that to a father who just lost his 4 year old child. As if God said "I'm going to drown your only son so he can come up here & be with me!"

Just offer your love & support. That is what people need. Let them see God through your love.