I had a baby against my exes will. We were together for 4 years. I left because he was abusive, he got everything, house cars ect... Our son is now one and we have been broken up since May. My ex told me he wants to be a part of his life and also wants to contribute to half of his needs monetarily he has not done either. Lotsa talk no action. I was asking him for fifty bucks a week and he said he woud give me 25 and hasn't done that either. I have been considering filing for child support, but feel guilty cause he didn't want him. What should I do?
2007-12-28 17:12:37 · 23 answers · asked by Sheila L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
To let you all know we had a visitation schedule worked out through a mediator. He never showed up after BEGGING for joint custody. Yesterday he signed saying he gives me full custody. He says I have put up too many walls for him to see his son. My stipulations being that he doesn't smoke around him, he enrolls in some parenting classes and that if he gets involved he will be consistant. I think that he felt that by signing away his rights he wouldn't have to pay child support (not true). I
2007-12-29 01:28:24 · update #1
25 a week? 50 a week? are you kidding? this is 2007~
in the early '90's i got about $450 for child support... child support is to help pay the child's food, clothing, and expenses such as electric, water, rent to keep a roof over his or her head. Believe me, i made over $1300 a month then, and needed every dime for my son and my survival. The child support helped a great deal, and i even saved some for him to use after he was 18 for a car or whatever.
if you and your guy have a child together, you need to petition the court for child support and a schedule of visitation (this way, there is an actual schedule to follow so you both know who will be caring for the child and when).
stop feeling gulty. you aren't a criminal... you are the mother of the guy's child... if he didn't want a child, he should have thought of that before you two had sex!! or used a condom...
men are dumb sometimes, i swear to god.
2007-12-28 17:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want this man in your child's life? Can you make ends meet without him? Sounds like you've been doing it so far, but do you want to continue to do so?
If you want him out, consider filing for termination of parental rights. In Texas, if the parent has been gone for at least 6 months (no support and has not seen or called about the child), you can file for termination based on abandonment.
However, if you really need some help financially, then yes, file for the support. It is only fair that he help pay for half of the expenses for his child. If you need help, go after it.
2007-12-28 17:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by Keep on Truckin' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, payment of support does not automatically entitle someone to visitation. Also, NON-payment does not allow you to withold visits either. I would file and take what you can get. With any luck, the area in which you live has a slightly higher cost of living that where he lives and you will get more than 50 bucks a week.
If he wants to see your son, let him take you to court for visitation. At this point, and without an order, you dont have to give in to him. Contact a lawyer for your protection.
2007-12-28 18:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what birth control is for. Well, being that he is now expressing that he wants to be in the baby's life, I would say you should take him to court and make sure he has SUPERVISED visitation. Try to make things as civil as possible, because if you're butting heads in court, even with police reports of domestic abuse, the court may not deem supervised visitation nessesary. Just be as agreeable as possible and yes, I do think you should recieve child support, unless he's not being permitted to see the child. Why should he pay you for a child he doesn't get to see that "he didn't want in the first place?"
2007-12-28 17:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by krazygurlygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he didn't want a child he shouldn't have had sex. Before you file for child support make sure you come to the conclusion within yourself whether or not you want this man in your son's life. I know he's the father but if you don't want him around or to have to share your son then you probably should not file for child support.However if that is not an issue then yes you should definetly file for child support. He is the other parent and he should have to pay.It sounds like the only way you will get n e thing from him is if you file.Don't feel Guilty for n e thing, like I said if he didn't wantkids then he shouldn't have had sex.Good Luck!
2007-12-28 17:28:33 · answer #5 · answered by Keeky 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't matter whether he wanted him or not, he still his child too and its not fair that you should try to take on all responsibilities by yourself when you didn't make the baby by yourself... if it were you that didn't want the baby would you just get up and walk away without taking care of it? probably not right? if he won't even pay you 25 a week i could take him to court and get real child support, it will be a lot more than 25 a week and there won't be any negociating, when my mom took my dad for it a while ago my dad said he didn't want to pay as much as they were telling him he would have to, and the court ordered him to pay more! lol ... just keep in mind that if he is taken to court theres a high chance he will recieve visitation rights unless you can proove he is an unfit parent and your child is in danger when in his care so think about if you'd be okay with that before filling
2007-12-28 17:27:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him the choice to sign his parental rights over or pay child support. Make sure you go through a court system to get it done so there will be a binding a legal contract! If you want him to be a part of this childs life I would be very careful since you said he is abusive.
2007-12-28 17:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by peace2all 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What are you waiting for here. He's a jerk and you and son need monetary assistance. Go to legal aid and make him pay retro from the time you could no longer stay because of his actions. He won't get to negotiate or TELL the judge what he'll pay. And if he didn't want a child he should have either been fixed, worn a condom or not had sex with you at all. He's a big boy and knows the consequences of having sex. Don't fart around with this. Get busy!
2007-12-28 17:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by mojo52 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would file for support and get a court order just keep in mind that once you file a support order he can then file for parenting time as the court sees fit just be sure to bring up the fact that he was physically abusive to you that way the judge will consider that in his decision for parenting time this is how they do it in michigan but each state is different
2007-12-28 17:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by Clarence P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He helped make the child, he should help pay for the child. You might feel guilty but you need to file. I was with my children's father for 12 years and he said the same thing. We have been separated for almost 2 years. I had to file because it is not easy on your own to raise children. Good luck to you
2007-12-28 18:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by Spring M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋