Me and my boyfriend of 7 months broke up a couple of days ago ( i broke up with him), but i cant help but want to call and text him. how do i move on? i have tried to stay busy and hang with friends but its not working. i dont want to get back with him because it was a really bad relationship. i need help. what can i do?
2007-12-28 15:51:05 · 28 answers · asked by JustWondering 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do something to relieve your stresses and gets your mind off of him. Even if you have to be by yourself. Listen calling him is only going to make it seem like you are indecisive and do not know what you want. You said it yourself that it was a bad situation be glad its over! Move on by first learning to accept you are single--be happy about that.
What can you do to avoid the mistakes you made in the past? What is it that you look for in future relationships that this relationship lacked? what are your preferences in men? What are your boundaries? If you do not have any you need to get some. This is a GREAT time to reflect on bettering yourself, why it did not work. Set your boundaries for what it is you will and will not tolerate. What changes do you feel you can make to better the relationship? Do you notice a pattern with the guys you tend to date or have relationships with? If it is the same pattern over and over, you need to re-evaluate many things like what you want and need from a relationship. Girl, do not settle! That is the easiest way to end up in another poor relationship.
Do not call him because it will make you look desperate and very lonesome, if he wants to hear from you he will call and even if he does does not mean you have to pick up right away. You have to learn to control your urges, I know its hard because right now you are too consumed but in reality...you will get over it and look back like why was it so hard! lol...
2007-12-28 16:01:14 · answer #1 · answered by ♥CJ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard, but the best thing to is keep your self occupied. No matter what you do, you will think about it. It's natural. This is still new. It will get easier though. Try to put yourself in an environment where it will be hard to call him or text him. Go out with a friend and leave your cell phone home. That will help you resist the urge to call or text. On the other hand, sometimes its easier (depending on the grounds of the relationship and the terms you ended on) to maintain a friendship (a distant one) where you talk a little or text (Try not to make the calls or text dedicated to what used to be but a new start to a friendship) Eventually, one of two things will happen. You'll find it easier to deal with being apart and single and gradually seperate yourself from him completely, or you'll end up with a good friendship. Something to consider. LIke I said, I don't know the terms of the breakup. If it was good or bad. Mutual or one sided. 7 months is really just a trail period. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and I'm still learning new things about him. Things that may or may not cause our feelings to change over the next few months or years. . . It takes a long time to fully know someone and for a relationship to become stable. (If that's possible). If I were you, honestly, I'd resist the urge to call or text. Throw the cell phone in the top drawer of my nightstand and go out to a club with the girls. Independence will come a lot easier if you let yourself be just that (Independent). Calling and texting is still in a way depending on him to get you through this time. Good Luck.
2007-12-29 00:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by *CaRpE*DiEm* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate in a sense to you, I recently broke up with my gf of 5 months and it sucks. I think the best thing to do is talk about how you feel with close friends and family. I have a hard time talking to my family about it but my friends have been awesome. Just remember that even though it seems impossible we can't call them, it makes it worse. Its better to try to cut off all contact for a few months and straighten out the emotional stuff in our own lives and then assess if we should talk to them again. This is a shitty time of year to be single but try to make plans with people as often as possible, and don't try to pick up a date until you are positive you can handle a relationship again or else the vicious cycle seems to repeat itself. I hope I could help a little, I am on here a bit if you have any more questions or just want to vent. I tend to vent a lot lately to my friends and I don't know how much longer they'll put up with it.
2007-12-28 23:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by bharper84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep busy. Time is the only thing that will help you move on. If you were strong enough to break up with him in the first place you're strong enough to get over him. You can do it. You just need to resist the temptation to contact him and pretty soon you'll forget all about him. If it was a bad relationship it will always be a bad relationship...nothing will change that. Good luck!
2007-12-29 00:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mommyto3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get very busy and everytime your mind drifts to him, remember how bad the relationship was and then turn on the TV, sing, watch a movie, read a book, call someone, do some YA but don't dwell. You just miss having the relationship not him. Work on your wardrobe, exercise, get yourself in shape and make plans for the future. It gets better pretty quick when your getting out of a bad relationship. Just don't give in. . .you're on your way to a better life. . .
2007-12-28 23:56:51 · answer #5 · answered by towanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
channel all of that into something else. There's plenty of things out there besides him. It's going to hurt. So take your time to cry and be depressed for a little while, but then again get out there, and as the other person said party. You said it was a bad relationship, you got to just let it go, but it's easier said then done. Plenty of other men out there who knows how to treat a woman. You think your BF cares that's your whinnying over him no he probably out with another girl living it up so don't give him the satisfaction, go live your life to the fullest and forget about him, and just have fun. You single now girl so go crazy. :)
2007-12-28 23:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by Ask Phoebe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was a bad relationship in the first place it really shouldn't be hard to avoid calling him. To ease your mind off of things, try hanging out with friends and have some fun.
2007-12-28 23:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by Davo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im there with you but I am married quite a while and haven't live in the same bed for about 7 months. I have kept myself busy with financial issues. See about getting your money and taxes in order. I know thats boring but its a good way to keep yourself busy. Also you need to have a support team- sooner than later you can call them instead of him.
2007-12-28 23:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by froglady972 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On a piece of paper write down every "evil" thing he has done in your relationship to make it end up the way it has. You made that decision for a reason.
Once you have written everything down that he has done wrong to you, read it. Read it when you have an urge to text or call him, I'm willing to bet the urge wont last long.
2007-12-28 23:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to go back for multiple reasons 1. its a comfortzone and you dont want to give that back, 2. You miss the attention that can only be givin by the opposite sex in a relationship, 3. you miss that person knowing you and vise versa, as hooky as it sounds hun, it dose get easier in time. Good Luck
2007-12-28 23:55:07 · answer #10 · answered by Jerry B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋