My boyfriend likes porn any kind of porn on the internet.. he says it started with regular porn 7 yrs ago... Then esculated every now and then he looks at gay porn and ts porn..he swears up and down that it is a addiction... he dont find men attractive, he is not gay. he likes looking at that stuff it is different and ya it gets him hard well the ts get him hard I'm not sure about the gay porn. Im assuming it does or he wouldnt look at that. He looks at regular porn the most... ts 2nd... then gay 3rd. So is it an addiction or is he bi or gay?what?? he swears he isnt... He says it is just something here and there when he is looking on the internet at porn that he decides to look at just something about it but he cant explain besides different and an addiction... He says he wants to stop looking at it.. Please help...Give me some answers I love him But I am scared....
2007-12-28 15:47:21 · 20 answers · asked by Countrylivin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
guy + gay porn = gay.........period
2007-12-28 15:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by $bAyArEaBaLLeR$ 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If he says it's an addiction, then it's an addiction. You have two choices - 1) talk to him and see if he wants help, and ensure he does so, or 2) get out, and get out now. This is NOT an easy addiction to live with, nor is it an 'easy' one to break. Since sex is a natural part of life, and since it's all around in this society (I won't even get started on that one), you are in for a rough ride.
If you decide to go with number one, find a good therapist, one that can work with both you and him, and see if there's a Sexaholics Anonymous location near you.
*Sorry, but for those who aren't realizing the seriousness of this, it can be an addiction, and a VERY bad one, at that. Some people are giving you answers that are ridiculous. Good men, men worth your time, and men who will respect you, do NOT need to look at pornography to get their rocks off. Pornography has also been discovered to be one of the causes of sexual deviance, and its use is highly documented in the lives of those who are currently, or were, incarcerated for sexual crimes (Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, etc.) Again, I say to you that if he says it's an addiction, you'd better listen. I think he might be ready to perhaps face it down and deal with it, and if he is, you still have a long, slow, uphill fight on your hands. I wouldn't sorry about his orientation right now, because the truth is that anyone addicted to this DOES NOT care about the type of porn they're watching, or about who they're having sex with. It's sex, plain and simple, in any way, shape and form.*
*And to the person who says to give him more sex - that isn't the answer. IT WILL NOT WORK! He is suffering from an addiction, and nothing short of serious therapy will help him. To the OP - your boyfriend is incapable of giving you emotional intimacy. When you have sex, does it seem like he's there? Or are you just a 'thing', somewhere for him to get his rocks off? People don't realize how serious this is. Trust me! Take it from someone who has had to experience it firsthand.*
2007-12-28 23:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by Shayna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is somehow addicted in this matter. The fact remains that once you are stuck in it is very difficult until and unless you switchover to some other or the scope of seeing pron is stopped. Even he knows that what he is doing is not fair but before the porn sites he could not resist him self. If possible talk to his family so that they can also restrict him seeing it and at the same time keep him otherwise busy so that he hardly finds any time to see such sites.And finally ask yourself,if u really love him do it because it is a long drawn process to be continued in cool. Best of luck
2007-12-28 23:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay first off, he seems seriously addicted to it and if he wanted to stop he'd look for help instead of continuing. Maybe he's in a confused place right now, maybe he's not sure if he wants to be straight or gay or both. It might be really hard on his concious, it might really be internally torturing him, you never know. That's why keep communicating with him no matter what, if you stop talking to him you wont know what's going on with him. And if it's stressing the both of you out then maybe you two should break it off, it'll probably be the best for you two, eventhough I know you don't want to do it but you have to think about your well being and his. Just be understanding and talk to him.
Need more advice? send me an email at my email address, KerryannShepherd@yahoo.com :) good luck
2007-12-28 23:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by Kerryann S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a problem. I would suggest that you ask him to go to a meeting for people who are sexually compulsive. If he won't go, frankly I think you should drop him. It sounds like he is incapable of being with you -- he'd rather be with his computer. This is not going to get better unless he gets help, and when it gets worse, it will get to the point where he's only with his computer and not with you. Do you really want to be married with a couple of kids and lying in bed at night waiting for him to get off the computer. Also, I don't know of any straight men that look at gay porn -- he may be gay and just unwilling to face it. I'd let him go... but if you want to keep him, get him into therapy or into a Sexual Compulsives Anonymous group for help. However, really, I think this is not going to work out for you, and the sooner you face it, the better off you'll be.
If you can't leave now, make a pact for yourself: if it's still this way by Easter, you'll leave.
2007-12-28 23:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like addiction, but i wont tell you he is gay.
in the long run it will hurt your relationship if he stays on porn, sorry thats just how it is. Ive been addicted to porn and its not good for you =/ it messes with the meaning behind sexual stuff. In my eyes that should follow a stable and loving relationship, and in porn its empty, it means nothing. Its easy for real life to feel empty when thats what your used to feeling from watching porn
2007-12-28 23:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by ari 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check out Is There A Problem on www.pornaddicthubby.com for answers. There is a porn addiction quiz and sign of addiction.
2008-01-01 11:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, he is addicted to the fantasy aspect. Or he may be bi-curious. But whatever it is, an addiction is an addiction - it's unhealthy. Let him see a therapist, and you take a break from him.
2007-12-28 23:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by bossanovamad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah he's addicted. He needs to see a psychiatrist. They can help him stop, and heads up he might be bi. Cause most straight person I know would cringe at just the thought of another guy have sex with a guy.
2007-12-28 23:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by Ask Phoebe 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
try to tell him to wacht something healthy like the sports channel you too go out on a date a returant go outside and play have fun and tell him it is not good and it is a waste of time to wacht gay porn or any kind of porn!!!!
2007-12-28 23:53:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, definetly gay/bisexual. You're a 'straight guy' watching GAY PORN? Ummm, GAY! But, yes it is an addiction. He needs to get laid.
2007-12-28 23:54:29 · answer #11 · answered by BlaCK N M1LD 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋