I recently found a notebook of my daughters. It was just a beat up black book with a few faded quotes on the front. I read a little of it and well...she writes about travel, Chicago in particular, desparation, smoking, and just simple beauty. It's very well written. I could post an excerpt if you want...
But my question. Should I tell her about it? I mean, I'd really like to tell her how amazing I think it is but I don't want her to think I was invading her privacy. I'm also a little worried that she writes about drinking & smoking when she's underage herself [though she writes from both perspectives - for and against].
So what should I do?
2007-12-28 15:40:11 · 13 answers · asked by Mary S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Zip your lip.
She won't fall for that whole "oh, I found this book here....just laying open all on it's own" crap. If you tell her that you were snooping (which, hello, you were) you will lose her trust.
Instead, when you see the notebook in her hand, ask, "Honey, what are you always writing in there?" And give HER the chance to open up to you. If she seems shy, say, "You've always been such a great writer! Come on, let me read a bit!"
If she chooses for you not to read it, back off. If she lets you read it, feel grateful.
2007-12-28 16:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hope that she will share it with you on her own sometime.
It's nice to have a child who excels in something... i don't think the writing about the drinking and smoking is a problem.. i'm sure that, as a concerned parent, you would probably know if she was into drinking, especially? at least, i hope
Someday you could even ask her what her interests are -- what she aspires to be... she might discuss her writing with you then? I suppose i'm saying "just fish"...!!
take care!
2007-12-29 02:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her very honestly that you noticed it and read the first page. Tell her you feel a little awkward about starting to read it and you wanted to come clean and apologize. If she freaks out, then at least she will see that you made a mistake and were willing to come forward with your mistake. You're modeling honest behavior even when you know you might get in trouble. (This is what you want her to do too!) And more than likely, she'll be ok with it. In either case, you'll know when the time is right to tell her you thought her passages were amazing.
Perhaps the best time to talk about this might be when you're alone with her in the car. For some reason, touchy conversations like this go better in the car, at least for me.
Hope this helps.
2007-12-28 23:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by Liza 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You may want to get her permission before you post an excerpt... but I would definately mention it, that you saw it and read a little of it, and love the writings. If she is upset, you do need to apologize, but hiding the fact that you read it is dishonest. Also, if it's really good, maybe you could talk to her about getting something published.. what a great experience that would be for her! good luck.. :)
2007-12-28 23:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by ksta72 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't tell her you read her private writing...how would you feel if someone did that to you?? Kids know more things than we often give them credit for knowing but doesn't mean she is doing those things. She wouldn't appreciate that you think her writing is amazing if you saw it under those circumstances.
2007-12-29 00:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it back, she may resent the invasion of privacy. You should be having regular chats with her about sex, drugs and smoking, among other pitfalls of young adulthood. Now you know you need to talk. Be open and listen a lot. Tell her how you felt at her age.
2007-12-28 23:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by Liz H 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's difficult, isn't it?
I would say something along the lines of "I found this, and didn't realize what it was. I read a little bit of it. I didn't mean to snoop. But, what you have written is beautiful." I don't know if that would work or not. It would have for me when I was a kid.
2007-12-28 23:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah K 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
well if its written from both perspectives maybe what your reading is really her writing a book and encourage her if she is.
just let her know you read a bit of it and you are impressed with her writing skills and set her in the right direction she could be the next up and coming author!
2007-12-28 23:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by Angie S 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
don't tell her you read it......if she wanted you to read it, she would personally share it with you.....this is her outlet where she feels safe and if she feels like her safety is violated then it could hinder fully expressing herself therefore taking away the beauty in her writings....the beauty that you admire.
i'm sure there are other ways of encouraging her creativity and writing.....look for those open opportunities and take them
2007-12-28 23:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by saraJ 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Just say you were putting clothes away and happened to see that it was open. She sounds like a really good writer.
2007-12-28 23:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by chiannnhas 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋