My 20 year old step daughter, whom I have raised since she was 6 months called her mother, who lives in Florida and said that we did not get her anything for Christmas. My SD lives with her bf, they wanted some pans and a Knife set for Christmas. We spent $300.00 on a set of pans and a knife set. We got our Grandchild a car seat and some clothes. We gave our son and his wife a gift card for $200 to Pennys and our 16 year old we bought her an MP3 and some DVD's, and such. This isn't the first time she has done this, but the problem is my husband has NEVER believed that his "little girl" would say something like that. So when I called her mother her husband said he is flying to our home and he is going to settle this once and for all. Apparently she has been calling and telling them a bunch of lies for several years now. So this isn't anything new. But it is worse now that she is an adult. We also gave her $300 to pay her cell phone bill. Any ideas would be helpful.
2007-12-28 14:21:37 · 13 answers · asked by maximus 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well so far everything that you have said has crossed my mind more than once, but my husband won't believe and she knows it. I have told her NO, just like when she wanted $3000 semester tuition money, I said No you moved out, your on your own, she went to daddy and he gave it to her. One thing you don't know, she was born with one arm and her dad feels guilty. He has since she was born. It is a birth defect and it has not stopped her in anyway, shape or form of living a normal life. That is why he does what he does and she knows it . She plays him for a fool daily. Anyways, I asked for ideas, so keep them rolling whatever they may be.
2007-12-28 14:36:47 · update #1
Just and FYI the baby is not hers, he belongs to my son and his wife. And when her stepfather said he was coming here to settle things it was to kick her butt, not ours. Her mother and her step father know she isn't telling the truth.
2007-12-28 14:45:50 · update #2
Next year just don't give her a present. She's complaining when you give her stuff so don't give at all and really watch her complain. Then when they come to settle it you can just say I gave her nothing for Christmas because she complains when we do give her a lot of presents that cost a lot. She's an adult and shouldn't be complaining she's getting nothing when she's getting a lot.
2007-12-28 14:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him come and present him with the reciepts, dig out any others you have also. Then tell the girl in front of him that this is the last. She has broken the camels back. Tell her as far as any more help she will have to look else where, and DO NOT buy into the guilt she is going to try and dump on you. Your going to hear, oh I had to pay this bill so now I don't have the money to buy the baby any summer/winter clothes. Or if you don't help us they are going to turn off our phone, or lights or something. She may even play the grocery card. If you would like to do for the grandchild do so in the form of a bank account you start with you as trustee for her/him. For birthdays and Christmas give a small gift to the child so that the child will have something hands on, and put the rest of the money you normally would spend in the bank. When your grandchild is either 18 or whatever age you choose they will get the money. It's time for her to face the truth she is a liar and she has been playing both them and you. I wish you well.
2007-12-28 22:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by WACVET75 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi...
I'm sorry you're having troubles like this.. perhaps your step daughter has some sort of personality disorder? Her behavior isn't normal.. fabricating stories about you and your husband at her age is rediculous. If she were 11 years old, well, i could see it.
Maybe she is trying to get her mother's attention... and perhaps she feels abandoned by her mother. Negative attention is sometimes better than none at all, even for "adult children".
No one can settle this but the step daughter. She might need some therapy. I can't understand another reason she would act in such a way.
I agree with someone else who said -- stop supporting her!
Limit your gifts to $100 or even less for the holidays... let her fend for herself....
take care of YOU in the meantime.. you are important too.
2007-12-28 22:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the Step-father come and set her straight. Also, if your husband is not supporting your decisions then there is another issue there, not just the step-daughter. You can not do anything about her behavior because she is an adult and does not live with you, but you need to talk to your husband about undermining your authority. If you have been with her since she was 6 months old, you are just as much her mother as her birth mother. Your husband should respect that. It sounds like maybe you need couples counseling. I'm sorry for your situation and hope things get better for you in the future. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-12-28 22:53:08 · answer #4 · answered by AB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where was your husband when you gave those things to his daughter? He should be there when you give her any gifts so that the little **** can't turn around and say you didn't give her anything. It's common for fathers to spoil their "little girls", even if they know she's a mean piece of work.
It's interesting how you and her father have raised her since she was a baby. Why wasn't her mother present through such a big chunk of her life? There's a lot of questions to be asked from the information you have provided, you need to be straight with your husband about how much crap you are not prepared to accept from his little sugar plum.
While you are saying the truth, just for the heck of it to rub it in their faces, show some store receipts to your husband and your step daughter and watch her face change color.
2007-12-28 22:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by ph1966 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is really you and your husband. You are not on the same page. It sounds like you, the mother and the step father are. That girl needs to be let go and allowed to live her life and not manipulate you anymore. But your husband is enabling her and she's using him. So really, there's nothing you can do until he is on board. I suggest a family meeting with the four of you and then counselling for the two of you. She is a piece of work. Sorry you have that happening.
2007-12-29 00:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut off her money and gifts. She has no respect for you and your husband and is no longer a child. She can fend for herself and her little ones. Maybe if she begins to treat you with respect you can share and get her things if you want to. She shouldn't just expect things. She should be thankful for the things she does receives.
2007-12-28 22:27:59 · answer #7 · answered by elusivelioness87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,simply have it out with your step daughter.Sounds like she is playing each one against each other.She needs to be taken down a peg or two and do not let her get away with this.Sounds like you have treated her like your own daughter from day one and you should not have to tolerate what she is saying about you.
2007-12-28 22:37:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ruby Jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay for half the plane ticket for your Step-daughters step- dad to fly to your place, and let him confront her and your husband. Good luck and God Bless
2007-12-28 23:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn from this...stop supporting her. when the bf shows up don't let him in call the cops. and time to tell your husband that it is time he woke up or he looses you too.
2007-12-28 22:30:57 · answer #10 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋