Of course, I'm talking about your kids' dating. Does your kids' suitor have to come over and spend an evening with you before going on a date with your daugher/son? In general, I'm just curious about how you all handle this. Also, when you answer, could you say whether you have a son or a daughter and how old that son or daughter is? Still yet, if your kids are now adults, I would be happy to read about how you managed this situation when your kids were underage.
Thank you.
2007-12-28 13:37:34 · 7 answers · asked by I'm Still Here 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have 5 daughters, ages 21, 19, 18, almost 16 and almost 13.
The rule in my house is: I meet boy. You can then go out with boy and my girls don't have a problem with it at all.
I'm also a "chatty mother" (I like that phrasing), ask questions and expect more than one word answers in return. I've been told that I'm a little scary at first, but after the second or third time seeing me, I'm the complete opposite and well respected. Having five daughters and a husband who welcomes males into our home with open arms (he's living with 6 women, who can blame him?) someone needs to hold the cards and say to the guy, "I've been to jail and I'm not afraid to go back." and that's me. I look for respect for my daughter, my rules, my family and my home. Over the years, there has only been 2 boys, and I've met many, that I haven't liked. I've told my daughters when my opinion was asked of him and that was that.
best wishes
2007-12-28 15:10:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jen Y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i have a daughter i say 16 because she will be 16 in less than a month..she has a boyfriend who she has had for about 2 yrs. he has to come to our house, he goes places with us. i have let her go to his house on christmas, thanksgiving. for dinner with the family. but i remember that age really well. very unfortunate for my daughter lol. i feel if shes with me then i know what she is and what shes not doing. they are not left alone. if i have to go somewhere. he knows the drill lol..he goes with me. and i dont mean going into a different room lol..i mean driving somewhere. i have a son who is 15, he has girlfriends some, but he is still shy, unlike my daughter. i admit i am strict but everyone that has told me over the last few yrs that i am too strict have either out of control teenagers, or are grandparents right now lol. so i feel pretty confident in the way i am handling it. also i became pregnant at 16, so i already know how all that goes..
2007-12-29 02:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We made it our business to know who our kids (sons) friends were. They both understood from an early age that "dating" as in being alone for an evening, was not allowed. They hung out with their favorite girl in a group and we had a curfew.
Now they're both adult, 20 and 25, they still do that. No "alone" dates unless the thing looks like it might be serious , as in possible spouse. The girl was invited to our house, by the son, hung out in the kitchen although I never tried to make them stay for long periods like they were being quizzed!
My boys always liked the way we suggested and even tell their friends to go that route. It saves a lot of misunderstanding and also the group they were with could keep an eye on them. They knew that late night alone times were to be avoided at all costs.
2007-12-28 22:03:45 · answer #3 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My kids are all grown now.
Our first rule of dating was no dating until they were 16!!!!
I also liked to get to know the boy or girl they were dating as well as where this kid live and to meet their parents.
I think it is a great idea to invite them to a family picnic and perhaps to go skating or something. This way you get to judge them a bit more fairly and see how they interact with you ( the parents) as well as the siblings and the person they are dating.
You might try inviting the date over for a fmaily supper - see how they are at the table and get to know them a bit better.
Good luck - tricky situation.
2007-12-28 21:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by Su-Nami 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The boy/girl had to be known to the family...rule one. Yes they have to come over to the house so we know them...no different than if it was just a friend of theirs...you always know who they are hanging out with. The kids have to be 16 before they can have a date alone and if that is the case...introduction (if not known beforehand) to the family. That's just the way it is.
2007-12-28 22:05:01 · answer #5 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girls just turned 18yrs and are seniors in high school. My husband and I have met almost every male that has some kind of importance in our daughters' lives whether he's a friend or a boyfriend. All their boyfriends started out as friends and we met them when they came over to see one of girls or take them out. I'm a"chatty mother" and am one to talk to them for a few minutes while they wait for one of my daughters to get ready or come downstairs. My husband is on the protective side and when one of our girls gets a new boyfriend, he makes them invite him over for dinner so he can "get to know" the guy.
The rule is that if he hasn't introduced himself to me, you're not getting in the car with him.
2007-12-28 22:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Marie R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mine havent started yet, 8th grade girl,, 6th grade boy. I will handle it by they wont be doing it. at least for awhile. My daughter wont be dating for a few more years but even then the boy will be at house first and be approved of. Location and time will also be approved in advance.
2007-12-28 21:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by sfcjoe4d 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋