i need help with me life?

Question

i dont know what to do i was asked to get married i do love this person who is 25 and i am 17 but will be 18 this coming year i will have a job with him and have a nice house but i think i am getting ahead of myself and i will feel awfel if he kills himself if i decline which is what he said he will do if i dont. what should i do

Answer 1

You want to marry a psycho?
Run away.
You have a lot of fun years ahead, don't waste them with this loser.

Answer 2

Wow...Hun you are still young. Tell him you need time to think about it and you think about it long and hard.

If he says he is going to kill himself he's only gaming you. I've heard that one to many times before. If you every break up with me I think I would rather die. Let me tell you that guy is still living and is just fine. I think he's even playing the field alittle too.

So let me tell you. If you can see your self with this person down the road a couple years from now and if you know that when things hit the fan you guys can get though it together to make your guys relationship work. But most of all if you know you love this guy with all your hear and there isn't any where else you rather be then with him. Marry him.

But if you have doubts then the odds are the married won't work. And you will get a divorce some where down the road. I know alot of young people your age who have got married and there married couldn't even last a month.

So think about it. Give it some time. Don't just rush into it. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 3

Surviving on love and fresh air which itself is a rare commodity is not possible. Sit together with a sheet of paper each work out your life financially. Set time based tgts that you feel are achievable. Add 10 % to come to a realistic tgt. See if you need to get married now or slightly later. Unless u do this u will end up fighting financial troubles and finally taking out the anger on each other. I am sure you do not want a life like that. When life pushes us around we push our near and dear ones, the easier wrong, rather than pushing back which is the harder right. If the person loves you so much then I am sure he will have enough respect for you to honour your decision of not getting married in a haste.

Answer 4

Listen, I'm sure you know and you've been told that Marriage is a HUUUUUUGE step to take. I was there before and I can tell you that I was ALWAYS unhappy because all i wanted to do was marry young and be in love. Honey, as we get older and mature, we become such different people, that someone you were a perfect match with now, will not necessarily be a perfect match 20 years from now.

If you think you are getting ahead of yourself, listen to that instinct, it's very important that you do not ignore it, for in the future, you will realize that you always knew it was not a good idea, but at least now, if you DO listen, you will be avoiding a very bad experience.

If he is THREATENING YOU with killing himself, he is being abusive towards you, and honey, that IS NOT LOVE. There should NEVER be manipulation taking place in order for you to marry him. If you wanted to TRULY be with him, there would be no doubt in your mind, right? So why force someone to be with you, by using threats?

This is sooo not healthy, you need to move on Darling. Please talk to someone older, with more experience who you can trust, this isn't a good place for anyone to be in.

Answer 5

OHMYGOSH!!!! don't you DARE mary him! your 17!!!!! you've got a life to live!!! you will be throwing away so many years! as soon as you get married you will be trapped. he will want you to clean and he'll want kids and he'll wanta ttentiona nd you'll be stuck with him. Go to college, get an education, dump this obsessive vloke, get a new hobby, excercise, keep up in school, travel, get a real job, buy cool clothes, make a difference in the world. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!!! don't throw away your future for this nutcase!

he is obviously mentally imbalanced. if he's threatening suicide he is way too overly possesive and will probably end up hitting you and abusing you and you will end up hating yourself and him. He's trying to force you into marrying him! he will be baggage for you for the rest of your life, he's suicidal, imbalanced, and probably uneducated.

you will throw away your entire life by marrying a nutcase this young. (or at any age) LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!! GO TO COLLEGE!!! MOVE AWAY FROM THIS OBSESSIVE CREEP!!!!

Please, this post just kills me that someone so young would throw away everything like this, don't marry him. just the thought that you had to ask other people's (and strangers,no less) opinion is a really bad sign already. You are obviously doubting getting married, trust yourself! Do you think in ten yeasr you'll stil love him? twenty? or will you regret not going to college and not living your own life? will you regret this marriage?

do you regret it already?

if you get that slightly sick feeling inside when you think of him (and i ahve the feeling you kind of do) then dom't marry him.

Please don't throw away everything.

and if you want to talk about this more (altho i doubt you'll like this post at all and dislike me) you are more then welcome to email me.

Answer 6

Sounds like you're being emotionally blackmailed, maybe you should just get out of the relationship altogether...

I agree that you're getting ahead of yourself, if you're not ready to commit to marriage, just explain that to him. If you still want to be with him, tell him that you do, and that you're willing to consider marriage with him a few more years down the line.

You're still young, so you may as well just give the relationship more time before thinking about marriage.

Answer 7

You should do what you want and not turn your whole life around for someone else. Tell him you don't want to get married yet but will in the future. If he really loves you he'll wait for you and not kill himself. Don't mess up your life.

Answer 8

Tell him he needs counseling... you dont want that ultimatum for the rest of your life, do you? "Oh honey- fix me some breakfast, or I'll kill myself" I think not. If he threatens his life you can call the authorities. If you are questioning the fact of marriage, then maybe you shouldn't. You have a lot of life to live before you decide to commit fully, so think about that as well.

Answer 9

Your answer should lie in your question......if you have to ask yourself if your ready, you're not.
As for him making idle threats like that, he won't, it's just a ploy to control you, this will lead to trouble later on!

So tell him to go ahead, and you'll buy him a rope if he needs it! Don't let this affect your future! Tell him to Bugg Off And Grow the Funk UP!

Answer 10

Threatening to kill himself if you don't say yes is not healthy. You don't want to start a marriage off on an unhealthy foot...tell him to get some counseling and you will think about it. Also if you love him, tell him you do...