i hav just turned 20 my boyfriend 21 and we hav a gorgeous 11 month old son he was not planned and i had a difficult pregnancy (meaning i did not no if i wanted to keep him.) were glad we did keep him. because of this my boyfriend and i have been extremely careful and used protection all the time. (apart from one stupid time when we were drunk)
about a month ago i found out i was pregnant, a scan a few days later confirmed i was 7 wks, by the end of that week i was booked in for an abortion, as my partner and i knew we would not be able to cope, also i am just getting over post natal depression, i knew this was the right thing to do, so i went ahead with the abortion, i was petrified of having it but i honestly knew it was the right thing for me.
now its been 2 weeks since having it done and i thought i was fine about it but im not sure i am i keep thinking about the baby and i think i regret it i no nothin can be done now, but y was i fine then and didnt want it but regret it now?
2007-12-28 12:03:48 · 11 answers · asked by sam 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I went through the same thing. I decided and it was the hardest decision that I have ever made. It was the right decision for my life and it still is, but I am having the same feelings.
I can't truly explain why we have these feelings, but can promise that life does go on. I believe that my feelings are because I really do have the want to be a mother, but I combat it by realizing that at this moment, I need to be focusing on preparing my life for it. My friends are basically all parents, but I watch them struggle and know that my life wasn't meant for that.
Maybe you and I need to seek counseling in our respective states in order to truly understand our feelings and where they come from. There is a syndrome that people reject called Post Abortion Stress Syndrome and it is real.
For right now, I really think that you should focus on the quality of life that you live right now and remember the reasons why you made your decision. You were thinking clearly then, as was I. I can almost guarantee that when those reasons change, it will be when you should have another child. There is nothing wrong with deciding that it isn't the right moment.
2007-12-28 12:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Miss M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is common and very natural. Dont regret because you cannot take it back. Dwelling on it will only bring you down. You did what you felt you had to do at the time. It is a life changing situation and noone has a right to an opinion on this. Im am pro choice and although i would never abort, i do not consider abortion murder depending on how far along the person is. Keep your head up and spirits high, you still have you 11 month old to take care of :)
2007-12-28 12:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by ~So much FUN~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter what decision you made, you will likely second guess yourself. Given that you already had an overwhelming problem with depression, I think it was the best decision under the circumstances. And that's the key - most women get abortions because the circumstances are very problematic at that time. Your health and ability to care for the baby you already have is very important. Consider going back to the clinic and getting additional counseling as well. It is available.
You also might consider getting another form of birth control such as an IUD.
2007-12-28 12:49:37 · answer #3 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were basically reacting to the moment - what you knew to do right away not really thinking about it. Now, in reality, you have more time to think about it, and the guilt of it is rushing in. I think it's perfectly natural to feel this way. It has "as they say" sunk in. I would put it to rest - tell yourself there is nothing you can do about it - you did what you knew in your heart was the right thing to do for your family. If you couldn't handle another baby, then you did the best thing for your son. Don't regret it, it's still the right thing for you and your situation. It's just something you're going to have to get over and move on. If you need to, put it into real life form - like a rock, and bury it literally. Good luck.
2007-12-28 12:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by wfhlembo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most women who have had an abortion feel this way at one point. No matter what decision you made (keeping, adoption, abortion) you would have to face feelings about that choice. Also, your hormones are all over the place and that's not helping you at all.
I would suggest seeing a counselor to discuss your feelings. They are very normal and sometimes just talking them out to an impartial person can make you come to terms with your decision.
2007-12-28 13:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's completely normal for you to be having these feelings. You made this decision because you knew you aren't in a position to handle it and you just have to try to remember that. I know it's hard.... I do... but now you're having feelings of loss and remorse. My advice to you is to seek support. There are other woman who have Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS)... There are people you can talk to. Seek the help of a therapist if you think this will help, or here is a good website where you will not be judged: http://afterabortion.com/
Please just try to remember that you made what you considered to be the best decision for yourself and for your family. You can't take it back but you should feel free to mourn this loss. My thoughts will be with you.
2007-12-28 14:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were fine before because you felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Now, you are probably felling guilty because it was not the baby's fault that you guys got drunk and created this baby. You are right, nothing can be done now, so you are going to have to go on with your life and make better choices. If you are not wanting another child, then you need to use protection EVERY time and not let your young stupidity get in the way. Good luck!!
2007-12-28 12:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Consequences. We all make decisions which we later regret. What seems like obviously the right thing to do on one day seems like the worst possible thing on the next. Don't punish yourself. You have to get on with your life. Best of luck for 2008.
2007-12-28 12:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by coffee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hormones are still out of whack because your body was pregnant one second and is now having to adjust to all of a sudden not being pregnant and it will take some time to heal about this. Just try and focus your attention on your son now and remind yourself you were just trying to make the best decision for your family. Seek counseling if you need to. God bless!
2007-12-28 12:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by Precious 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
people don't really realize how permanent abortion is until it's happened. take care of your baby that you have. don't pretend that this baby didn't happen. share your experience with other girls. make your regrets have a positive outcome.
2007-12-28 13:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by theworldneedsmorelove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋