Am I overindulgent for having one day a week free from parenting duties?

Question

My hubby works all weekend and has three days off in the week. One of these days is his day off, where he gets to go out and have a meal, shop etc, and one is my day off, where I do the same.
This arrangement has only come into place recently as our youngest has only just started drinking from a cup.
I realize that I am very lucky to be able to do this, as if he worked normal hours, there wouldn't be time.
But today I was having my dinner in a restaurant and some other parents from the school came in and they seemed to be saying I had no right to be there as I was a mother and should be sat at home every night.
I stress that this is once a week and I have no other time off.
Our children are 6, nearly 2 and a half, and 8 months.

Should I be feeling so guilty for being 'caught'?

Loving the answers guys! Starting to feel better already!

Lol! It seems Lydia is a bit jealous too.....!

Answer 1

I am a mother of four, and in order to be a great parent, you need a break. Just like any person who works has a day off, and midday breaks, parents "perform" better at their job of raising kids when they have time to relax for a bit.

Answer 2

I think the real problem is that these other parents are Jealous!!!!
I can't imagine having an entire evening to myself!!!
I would love to have that!!!! I do know some parents that
give eachother an hour break away from the kids and I
don't get that. I think it is great you are able to do this For Eachother!!!! You and your hubby have a great thing going and don't feel guilty about it at all. Everyone needs a break and how dare these other parents give you a hard time.
Like I said before, they are JeAlOuS!!!!

Answer 3

Dont feel bad at all, the other mothers are just jealous. I have 3 young children and i try 2 get some "me" time 2 myself when i can not one day a week but my partner takes my children out 2 the park 2 visit relatives etc when he has a day off. It is good 4 him 2 spend quality time with his children, i love my children so much but i feel if u can it is necessacay to have some time off when u can. It helps from becomming to overwhelmed by parenting and also helps my children as it makes me apprecuate them much more. It would be no good for my children if i was with them 24/7 stressed out and tired they need time 2 spend with their father too. So when he takes them out i get done what i need 2 get done at home then have a rest, dont really go out but i watch a movie at home or dye my hair stuff like that, every now and then i go out to a friends linen party/ cosmetics party etc but my children are at home in bed at that time. Dont feel what u are doing is wrong i feel what u are doing is good 4 both u ur children's father and also for your children. If you confront u and tell u what u are doing is wrong ensure them that it is none of their business and if they were not too busy worrying abt what other mothers where doing that they would have spare time to themselves and they should try it some time. I think having some spare time 2 urself actually makes u a better mother.

Answer 4

I have one break every 2 weeks. My husband takes our two boys on a day trip just where ever while I get to have the house to myself and relax. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this at all. As the others have said a relaxed and happy mom is way better then a mom who is going insane for adult time. Before we started our ritual of a day out I would get rather cranky and if I was cranky then the kids were cranky as well.

People always seem to forget that we moms are humans with feelings. They think as soon as we have kids that we must dedicate every waking moment to them. Well I'm sorry but that is bullshit. Spending all day, everyday with only a small child (or more) to talk to and wait on hand and foot can leave a person horribly drained and in need of adult interaction or quiet time. The only quiet time that kids give is at bedtime and then your to spaced out from the day all you can usually do is go to sleep as well.
Its not selfish and you shouldn't feel guilty, your human and you deserve time for yourself just as much as anyone else.

Answer 5

No they should feel selfish for even saying something like that. They are very ignorant people. Most women dont even get one day. Your kids are very young I am 35 weeks pregnant and go crazy when I have my step son for more than a week without a break. It can be very draining. But then again I am a new mother and couldnt possibly compare to what you go through on a daily basis. Thank you for being a mother that still takes time for herself.

Answer 6

Ha no your not! I would love to be able to have a day all to myself. my partner doesnt work so we share duties but he gets to go out and see his friends (sometimes it was every night) whereas i would only get one day every few months. he will take our eldest out (2yrs old) so im only left with our four month but still, its not the same as having total baby free time. you are very lucky to have this and you shouldnt feel guilty. other mums are jealous because they dont get to do the same. every parent needs a break once in a while - were not superhuman and can only take so much! :)

Answer 7

Stressed out insane parents don't make good parents.
If you need a night or a day off to stay sane, go for it and don't feel guilty at all. You're not only a parent, you're still a spouse, a sister, a daughter, and a friend, and you need to spend time with your parents, siblings, friends, and with yourself.
The 17th century ended couple hundred years ago.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to have this attitude. Ignore it. They're his kids, too. Oh that pisses me off. I bet if your husband was out sans kids, they wouldn't even bat an eyelash. If they don't think it's right, they don't have to do it, but don't let their opinion ruin your peace and quiet. Our daughter usually spends one night a week with my parents, and I mentioned it on here one day and got a bunch of thumbs' down. Well, tough. My daughter loves it (she actually gets grumpy if she misses a week), my parents love it, and it gives hubby and me time to relax. They're probably jealous because their husbands won't do the same for them. You work hard. You deserve it.

Answer 9

My son is in childcare (in basic terms for some weeks) as i'm in basic terms ending up my diploma. i'm just about continuously living house as I learn at living house and don't have many training now. some days, i don't learn... I tidy up the living house, dirt, get issues wiped sparkling up that i are not getting threat to do while looking after an relatively lively 8 months previous all day. each so often, my fiancé and that i visit spend an hour snuggled up on the settee enjoyed the reality we don't have something to think of roughly for that small volume of time. If we end in spite of we are doing (artwork/learn) that day, we don't %. Lukas up early because of the fact: A) we ought to pay for set hours inspite of in spite of if we %. up early/drop off previous due. B) that is dazzling to have yet another hour or 2 at the same time with your palms loose! If i grew to become into working finished time (all day Mon-Fri) and did not have good holiday journeys, specific i might save him living house if I had a wreck day... on the different hand, i could desire to need to apply that factor to scrub the living house or have some "me" time... assuming I not in any respect had time for that the two. as much as mum and dad DO quite love and adore their toddlers, all of us choose for a wreck... even while Lukas is down for the night I save thinking approximately him/checking on him and so on, so understanding he's risk-free in somebody else's care is a delightful alleviation.

Answer 10

if it works for your family, don't worry about it.

i used to have a sacred one night a week off, since i was with the kids all other waking (and many ostensibly sleeping, lol) hours. my husband would take the kids and i would go to a movie or get coffee or go the bookstore. it was a great sanity saver.

now with four kids it's more like once a month, or once every two months, or ... hey, when did i do that last?!?