Is it normal for a boyfriend to get extremely jealous if his girlfriend talks to a guy? I have quite a bit of guy friends, and my boyfriend gets really mad and jealous when i talk to them or something of the sort. He's asked me to stop talking to them, unless they're gay. What should I do?
(we're in high school)
Is it normal for a guy to ask this of his girlfriend? How should I handle it?
2007-12-28 09:22:47 · 74 answers · asked by Waterworks. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's normal... make sure you tell him that you love him. When you talk to guys make sure you don't get too close, or laugh at everything they say
2007-12-28 09:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
In High School, its normal. Doesn't mean its right but at that stage of maturity it is pretty normal.. When you get older, you'll see that even some grown men are like that, but it usually comes with many other issues such as insecurity or control issues. But, it sounds like your guy is a typical teen boy, thinking his brand new manhood is threatened because you talk to other boys.
Try to introduce him to your male friends and just for a while don't talk to them unless he is right by your side. After a while, if he is a reasonable guy, he will be less threatened and he should come around. If he doesn't, then he may have deeper issues than just a little teen insecurity and maybe you should reassess your relationship. My best advice is to never give up your friends for a guy. I know this from my experience and from my friends and family's experiences. It never is a good thing. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
2007-12-28 09:34:30 · answer #2 · answered by babygyrl_nyc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that boys will experience this level of jealousy from time to time as they develop and their hormones go all crazy. I remember having experiences of extreme jealousy when I was younger. Now that I am older and have more confidence, things are very different. I honestly think it's a teenage hormone thing.
So yes, I guess I think this is somewhat normal. However, it's not right for him to ask you not to speak to any man unless he's gay. That's too controlling and possessive. Reassure him if he's jealous, but don't put up with that.
2007-12-28 09:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by scarabrain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for a guy to get jealous if he thinks another guy is hitting on his girlfriend, or if the girlfriend is flirting with another guy.
But no, this sounds extreme and unreasonable and possessive. If they are just platonic friends, and the girl has no romantic or sexual interest in them, then there is nothing wrong with her talking or hanging out with them. It's absurd of him to try and limit who she talks to or to insinuate that she can only be trusted around gay guys.
Tell him he's being possessive and he needs to back off. Make it clear that you have no romantic or sexual interest in these guys, so there is absolutely no harm in having them as friends. Remind him that you are his partner, not his possession, and he should have enough respect for and trust in you to not let the presence of other guys threaten him.
2007-12-28 09:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it normal or common? In someplaces, yes, in other places no, but it is a trait you find all over the world, there are always guys who are so unconfident in their relationship that they do that stuff.
The better question and answer is if it SHOULD be common? Which is no, that is an unfair thing to ask of your girlfriend partically in high school where you still might be good friends with like your male nextdoor neighbor you grew up with.
2007-12-28 09:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by cj k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about this. He's either extremely insecure or extremely possessive. It's sadly a common thing (men..). You need to make it clear that you're not going to put your life on hold and throw away your friends just for him. He's seriously in the wrong for asking that you do so. If he doesn't straighten up, you should break up with him. Be sure to drill it into his head that you are his and only his and you're happy with that-just because you have guy friends doesn't mean thy'll come between the two of you.
2007-12-28 09:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by Axe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being ridiculous. His jealousy is showing that he doesn't trust you, which is definitely not a good sign for the relationship. This will only get worse as time goes on, I should warn you.
This is NOT normal, and you should ask your boyfriend why he doesn't trust you. This sort of behavior is an indication of someone who may end up being abusive later on (either physically or verbally) and you need to be aware of that. The fact that he is trying to cut you away from your friends is extremely bad.
2007-12-28 09:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by kari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bit much, but you should be flattered that he cares so much. Is he just joking or is he really really mad? It's a bit controlling which could be a cause for worry. I would invite him to spend time with you and your guy friends so he can see it's not a threat. Also I would explain to him that it is absolutely ridiculous to forbid you from speaking to any guys and ask that he stop talking to his girl friends. My boyfriend doesn't like that I have friends that are guys and I don't like that he has friends that are girls, but you deal with it because you have to. If he doesn't stop or gets even harsher it *could* be a sign that he'll be abusive later on.
2007-12-28 09:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by not just rainbows & butterflies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my two past boyfriends have been like that. I hate it. But then you have to ask yourself this question..how would you feel if he had a friend thats was a girl?? I understand where the guys are coming from..they feel you don't need to associate with other guys like that..because you have him. But today I was actually just thinking about this. My response to that..is that would be like one of my best girl friends saying ..i don't need to associate with other girls because I have them. Different people have different characteristics that you like. But then it all goes back to me not wanting him to have other friends that are girls, especially if I know they might like him.
Oh darn..I just seen the high school part. Hmm.. it depends now. Like i think it would be okay to hang out with opposite sex at school only..but no like talking on the phone and going places. That should be spend with the boyfriend or girlfriend.
2007-12-28 09:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by ღThE OnE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys do at that age but it gets easier for guys to understand as they get older. You should discuss this with him because its not fair that you cant talk to your friends. If things don't pan out then you should maybe start looking for someone that would be A: more tolerant of your guy friends (maybe even become friends with them as well and B: more open to change.
You should be having fun in relationships during this time and not wasting time in guys that are unwilling to comprimise or change.
2007-12-28 09:29:42 · answer #10 · answered by cruizectrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal. He obviously likes you, and being a guy, he knows how guys act. To you they might be friends but to him they're trying to steal you away from him. He doesn't want to loose you, but it is something to bring up. Talk to your friends, ask them their opinions. Then after gathering that information, go to your boyfriend, tell him what has happened and talk it out.
My boyfriend was the same way, but I did this and it worked!
Good luck girlie!
2007-12-28 09:27:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋